SERMON: WHEN GOD DOESN'T SPEAK

 

7 October 2012

I. Introduction

-- turn in Bibles to Psalm 22:1-2

Psalm 22:1-2 (NIV)

1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?

2 O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent.

-- when we first moved back to Valdosta, one of the things that we immediately missed was a radio station that played contemporary Christian music -- we had started listening to a Christian station when we lived in Tennessee, but when we got down here, the only Christian station that was in the area was WAFT -- and, at the time, all it played was older hymns and older music -- nothing contemporary

-- so, when they finally started a contemporary Christian radio station in the area, we were pretty excited and started listening to it exclusively -- as they say, our radios were locked on that dial and that was our station

-- one morning I got in the car and headed to work and I was met with deafening silence -- nothing -- nothing at all -- I checked the volume -- I checked the station -- it was still set to 95.3 -- but there was nothing -- no sound

-- so, I switched over to the country station and immediately music began playing -- I went to a third station -- same thing -- music came through the speakers -- so, I went back to 95.3 -- nothing but silent air

-- turns out that something was wrong with the station's signal -- someone had accidentally hit a switch and muted their broadcast -- they were still playing songs -- they were still broadcasting the contemporary Christian message -- they were still doing their morning routines -- but no one could hear them -- for all intents and purposes, they were silent

-- sometimes we experience the same thing in our Christian lives -- we wake up in the morning and we say our prayers and have our devotions and wait to hear from God -- but instead of being met with the voice of our Creator, all we hear is silence -- no response -- no awareness of His presence -- nothing but dead air -- God is silent

-- Floyd McClung described it like this: “You wake up one morning and all your spiritual feelings are gone -- You pray, but nothing happens -- You rebuke the devil, but it doesn’t change anything.

-- "You go through spiritual exercises… you have your friends pray for you… you confess every sin you can imagine, then go around asking forgiveness of everyone you know. You fast… still nothing.

-- "You begin to wonder how long this spiritual gloom might last. Days? Weeks? Months? Will it ever end? In utter desperation, you cry out, ‘What’s the matter with me?’”

-- has this ever happened to you? -- have you ever experienced a time in your life when it felt like you were walking through the desert? -- when God refused to speak?

-- it happened to King David -- that's why he wrote this Psalm -- it happened to Jesus, when He was on the cross -- and it happens to most of us from time to time

-- so, this morning, I want to spend a few moments talking about what is going on when it seems like God is silent -- when it seems like we can't hear the voice of God in our lives -- by looking at Psalm 22

II. Scripture Lesson: Psalm 22

-- we are told in the introduction that this Psalm was written by King David -- but we don't know the actual occasion that caused David to pen these words

-- like the nation of Israel, David experienced many times of trials and tribulations in his life -- after coming to know God in a real and personal way in his early life and being anointed by Samuel as the next king of Israel, David went through many ups and downs in his life

-- Saul, the first king of Israel and David's father-in-law, was jealous of David -- he exiled David from Israel and chased him throughout the Judean countryside -- trying to take his life because he knew that David had been appointed by God to take over the throne of Israel

-- David also had enemies from outside Israel -- as he fought against the Philistines and others who oppressed and harassed his people and threatened their lives time and time again

-- and, later in life, as David is King of Israel living in the palace in Jerusalem, he is forced to flee for his life from his son Absalom, who tried to take over the kingdom by winning the hearts of the people and killing his father

-- so, this Psalm could have been written on many occasions -- either when David was fleeing from Saul or surrounded by the Philistines or fleeing his son Absalom -- the actual setting doesn't really matter

-- but what's important to know is that a man that God describes as "a man after My own heart" found himself distant from God -- walking in a desert place where he sought after the word of God like a thirsty man seeks water, he found nothing but silence

-- look back at verse 1 and let's see how David described this experience

1a My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

-- this first part of verse 1 should be very familiar to all of us -- these are the same words that Christ proclaimed from the cross at the ninth hour -- just before He died

-- as all the sins of the world fell upon Jesus and as He suffered and died in our place, Jesus cried out to His Father, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?" -- why have you abandoned me? -- why are you not here?

-- of all the people who ever lived, no one ever had as close a relationship with the Father as Jesus -- before time began -- before this world was ever conceived -- Jesus lived in relationship with the Father and the Spirit -- the Trinity -- three-in-one -- never had they been apart -- never had they been separated from each other -- even when Jesus came to earth as a man and lived among us, He was not separated from God -- God the Father was His constant companion

-- He had said in John 16:32 "But a time is coming, and has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me." -- but at that moment on the cross -- for the first time in all eternity -- Jesus was alone -- God was silent -- and Jesus cried out in agony

-- that's the way it is for Christians when God is absent -- when God doesn't speak

-- David needed God -- whatever crisis he was going through -- he needed to hear from God -- he needed to know that God was there -- that God hadn't left him -- that God was going to see him through -- but as he called out in anguish to the God that he knew so well, God didn't answer

-- look back at verse 1

1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?

2 O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent.

-- when God is silent, the first thing we should do is ask the question, "Why?"

-- David cries out to God here in these verses with that very question -- "Why? -- Why have you forsaken me? -- Why are you so far away from me? -- Why can't I hear You?"

-- there are several answers to that question, but the first answer may be that we don't know God

-- in John 10:27, Jesus said, "My sheep listen to My voice -- I know them and they follow Me"

-- and over in John 8:47, we read, "He who belongs to God hears what God says -- the reason you do not hear is because you do not belong to God"

-- if we're not hearing from God, it may be because we don't truly know Him and have a relationship with Him

-- this was really brought home to me a few years ago when I met up with a friend of mine at a conference -- my friend Jay is an agnostic Jew -- he's Jewish by race, but he doesn't believe in a personal God -- so, every time we get together, we end up discussing spiritual issues

-- one of the last times I saw Jay happened to be during Holy Week -- the week in between Palm Sunday and Easter -- and we started talking about the Passion of Christ -- His death on the cross and what it meant

-- no matter what I said -- no matter what Scriptures I quoted -- Jay would respond with a rebuttal that he heard on the Discovery Channel or on the History Channel -- he refused to hear the truth from God's own Word -- he would only listen to the voices of others

-- and I got a little frustrated with him until I realized that he wasn't just being difficult -- he couldn't hear God because his radio was on the wrong station -- God was speaking -- God was broadcasting -- but Jay couldn't hear because he had tuned his ears to the world's station -- for Jay, God was silent

-- so, the first thing we need to do when we don't hear God is to make sure that we are not in the same place as Jay -- to make sure that we truly know God -- that we have heard His voice in the past -- that we have experienced His saving grace in our lives -- that we have a personal relationship with Him

-- but, let's say that you do know God -- that you're like David -- you have a relationship with God -- you have heard His voice in the past -- but, now, all of a sudden, God is silent -- does that mean that something is wrong with you?

-- no, we need to realize that Christians sometimes experience times of silence, too

-- Philip Yancey wrote, “Any relationship involves times of closeness and times of distance, and in a relationship with God, no matter how intimate, the pendulum will swing from one side to the other.”

-- so, why do Christians experience times of silence in our lives?

-- one reason may be unconfessed sin

-- as we all know, sin separates us from God -- as Christians, this doesn't mean that we lose our salvation -- but it does mean that our fellowship with God -- our relationship with Him -- is damaged

-- normally, when a Christian sins, the Holy Spirit immediately pricks our conscience and lets us know that we've done something wrong so that we will confess our sin and restore the relationship with God

-- but, if we're honest, there are times in our lives when we go on a spiritual bender -- for whatever reason, we decide to sin -- we make that choice -- and once we make that choice, we choose to live in our sin for a while

-- either we try to hide it or we ignore it or we just enjoy it -- but, the end result is that we refuse to come to God in confession and repentance -- and that keeps us from hearing God's voice

-- when you are living in sin, you're basically taking your radio off God's station -- you don't really want to hear what He has to say, so you block Him out and ignore Him

-- God is silent -- not because He is not speaking, but because you are refusing to listen

-- trust has been broken -- and until we admit that we've done something wrong -- until we put our radio back on God's station -- we're not going to hear from Him

-- our prayers won't seem to go anywhere -- our Bible readings and devotions will be devoid of God's presence -- we will cry out and cry out for God like nothing's wrong, but we won't hear His voice

-- look what David says here in these verses -- he cried out in groaning -- he cried out by day and night and God didn't speak

-- when that happens in your life and you are sure that you know God and have a relationship with Him, the first thing you need to do is make sure that you are not living with unconfessed sin

-- if you have already rejected the Spirit's promptings to get right with the Father through confession and repentance and have quenched His presence in your life, God's not going to speak again until you get right with Him

-- but, unconfessed sin is not the only reason God is silent in the lives of His people -- sometimes God is silent because He is waiting on us to respond to what He has told us to do

-- when we are in a relationship with God, He directs our paths and leads us to do great things for Him -- as we read in Ephesians 2:10, "We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

-- when God tells us to do something, He expects us to do it -- and He will sit patiently until you do what He has told you to do

-- think about the story of Jesus with the crippled man at the pool of Bethsaida -- this man laid on his mat by that pool everyday, hoping to get healed -- and one day, when Jesus came by, Jesus asked him what he wanted -- and when the man said he wanted to be healed, Jesus said, "Get up, take your mat, and walk" and didn't say another word -- He just stood there and looked at the crippled man

-- Jesus wasn't going to do anything or say anything else until the man responded to Jesus' command

-- it's the same way with us -- when God tells us to do something, He expects us to respond immediately -- and He is going to wait on us until we do it -- He's not going to give us another assignment -- He's not going to speak another word to us -- He's not going to do anything until we respond to His last command

-- if you're not hearing from God -- if you've been crying out to Him like David and asking God for help or direction or guidance and you're not getting an answer, it could be He's already given you the answer -- it could be He's just waiting on you to respond

-- the third reason why God is sometimes silent in the life of a Christian is what the famed theologian Henri Nouwen called, "The Ministry of Absence"

-- we have to remember that our relationship with Christ is built on faith -- not on sight

-- faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see

-- look at verse 3-5

Psalm 22:3-5 (NIV)

3 Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One; you are the praise of Israel.

4 In you our fathers put their trust; they trusted and you delivered them.

5 They cried to you and were saved; in you they trusted and were not disappointed.

-- when the nation of Israel was rescued by God from captivity in Egypt, God did so through a series of miracles -- God showed His presence to the Egyptians and the Israelites through the various plagues that afflicted them -- from the swarms of flies and frogs -- in the darkness that covered the land -- and with the Passover, as the angel of death killed the firstborn of the Egyptians and their livestock

-- and even after that, God demonstrated His presence by parting the Red Sea and allowing the Israelites to cross on dry land and then led them in the wilderness with a pillar of cloud by day and fire by night

-- each of these were visible signs of God's very presence -- did it take faith for the Israelites to know that God was with them? -- no -- it didn't take faith -- it just took sight -- they could look up and see the pillar of cloud -- they could look out their tents at night and see the fire burning in the heavens

-- when God first called the nation to walk with Him, they walked by sight and not by faith

-- but, later, after they had finally crossed into the Promised Land -- after they had lived there for a while -- God withdrew His physical presence -- the Israelites had to learn to trust in God's name and in His word -- to live on faith in God's promises rather than depending on what they could see with their own eyes

-- that's why David says here in verse 3, "yet" -- even though I cry out for you and don't hear you -- even though I groan for your presence day and night and don't see you -- I know that you are still here -- I know that you still sit on your throne -- I know that you still watch over me

-- even though I can't hear you or see you, yet will I trust in your name

-- as we mature as Christians, God wants us to move from trusting Him because we see Him to trusting Him because we believe Him

-- if you think back to when you were first saved -- when you first came to know God as your Lord and Savior -- you'll probably remember that as a time of closeness with God -- when you read your Bible, it was like God was right there talking to you -- when you prayed, you could hear God speak -- it was almost like God was taking you by the hand and leading you where He wanted you to go

-- but, as you mature, God wants us to start living on faith and not on sight -- He wants us to know that He is there even if we can't see Him -- even if we can't hear Him

-- so, God will often seem to withdraw in the life of a mature Christian -- God will often lead a mature Christian into a desert place for a period of testing -- these desert times -- this silent moments -- what some call "the winter of the heart" -- are vital for the development of our faith

-- as God weans us off our dependency on visual signs of His presence through the ministry of absence, we develop true faith -- being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see

-- when I think about God leading us to faith through these times of silence, I think about the movie, "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" -- if you remember that movie, Indiana Jones joins his father in the quest for the Holy Grail -- for the chalice that Jesus used at the last supper

-- towards the end of the movie, Jones sees a priest with the chalice on the far side of a chasm -- there's no way across -- it's too far to jump -- it's even too far for him to use his whip and swing across as he's done in other movies

-- the priest tells Jones he must step out in faith -- and that if he truly believes, that he will walk across the chasm and not fall

-- so Jones girds his loins and takes that first step out into the unknown, and finds solid ground under his feet -- an invisible bridge that is only there for those who believe in faith

-- that's what it means to be a mature Christian -- it means that we don't have to see the bridge in order to step across -- we don't have to see a flashing neon sign before we do what God is calling us to do -- we act on faith -- being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see

-- God leads us to this point through the ministry of absence -- through His silence, God forces us to come to grips with what we truly believe -- He grows our faith and makes us trust in Him, even when we can't see Him or hear Him

-- the ministry of absence forces us to get real with what we believe about God -- and it reminds us that He is sovereign and we are not -- God speaks when He chooses and not when we choose -- and sometimes when God is silent, it is at that point that He is closer than ever before

III. Closing

-- Emily Dickinson understood the silence of God -- she shared these thoughts in a poem:

"I know that He exists

somewhere in Silence.

He has hid His rare life

from our gross eyes"

-- when God is silent, we need to realize it is a time for reflection and response -- God's silence is not always negative -- in fact, if you recognize that God is silent, it is an affirmation that you know Him -- because silence only comes after sound -- which means you have been listening to Him or aware of Him in the past

-- my friend Jay didn't know that God was not speaking because he had never enjoyed the experience of God's presence before -- if you know that God is not speaking, then it proves that you are in a relationship with Him

-- when God is silent, we need to learn to stand on His promises -- we need to believe that He is not truly absent from our lives -- as Jesus said, "I will never leave you or forsake you"

-- if God is silent, it's because He is waiting on a response from you

-- it could be a response because of unconfessed sin -- it could be a warning that you have a need for confession and repentance

-- it could be a response of obedience as God is waiting for you to respond to something He told you to do

-- or it could be a response of faith as God is moving you from dependency on sight to living on the promises -- to being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see or what you do not hear

-- if this morning finds you in a desert of solitude -- if you are experiencing a time of silence in your life and feel distant from the God you love -- then I want to invite you to spend some time this week seeking God's voice -- seeking His face -- seeking His presence -- and responding in faith to what He tells you

-- let us pray

SERMON: HEALING FORGIVENESS

 

30 September 2012

I. Introduction

-- turn in Bibles to Matthew 6:9-15

Matthew 6:9-15 (NIV)

9 "This, then, is how you should pray: "'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,

10 your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

11 Give us today our daily bread.

12 Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.'

14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

-- people in Russia celebrate the first day of school in a unique way -- on September 1st of each year, parents and their children dress in their finest clothes and head off to school for what is called, the "Day of Knowledge" -- when they get to school, the parents and children listen to talks from teachers and from other students, and finally, the oldest students in the school -- the "last graders" -- take the first year students -- "first graders" -- to their class

-- on September 1, 2004, terrorists took advantage of this school tradition and stormed Beslan Middle School in Russia, taking more than 1300 people hostage -- they moved everyone into the gym, and set up explosives on trip wires surrounding the compound -- they harassed and terrorized the students, parents, and teachers as they walked through the gym carrying machine guns and with explosives strapped to their chest

-- Irina Gigouev was one of the parents in the gym that day -- and as she huddled with her two sons, Mark, aged 9, and Arthur, aged 8, she led several in the group in singing hymns and worshiping God

-- as they were singing, a terrorist moved directly behind her holding an AK-47 -- and Irina prayed out loud for God to touch this man and to change his heart

-- after three frightening days and after the death of numerous hostages, Russian troops stormed the compound -- as soon as the Army begin their raid on the compound, the terrorists starting setting off explosives and shooting hostages -- Irina's sons were both hit by shrapnel, and died in her arms as the battle in the gym raged

-- despite the loss of her sons -- despite the fact she was facing death herself at the hand of the terrorists -- Irina continued to pray out loud for God to touch the terrorist who had stood behind her and her sons and asked God to forgive him for his role in the death of her sons

-- by the end of the siege, 338 people died, including many children and 31 of the 32 terrorists who were in the gym -- leaving behind a world shocked at the horror of terrorism and a story of Christ-like forgiveness by a mother grieving the loss of her sons

-- to this day, Irina still harbors no resentment or unforgiveness towards her captors -- towards those who killed her sons -- but she continues to pray for the terrorists to come to know the power of Christ in their lives

-- this morning, we are going to be talking about what it means to forgive -- a lot of times when we talk about forgiveness in the church, our focus is always on the forgiveness of Christ for our sins -- the forgiveness of the cross

-- but we can never forget that we, who have received such forgiveness from Christ, are commanded to live out that love and that gift by forgiving those who have wronged us

-- Jesus told His disciples that the world would know them by their love -- and that love is no more evident than when we forgive someone who has wronged us

-- in fact, we see this command to forgive others right here in one of the most familiar passages of Scripture in all the Bible -- the Lord's Prayer -- how many times have you heard this prayer in church? -- how many times have you prayed this prayer yourself?

-- and, in all of those times, how often did you stop to think about what you were asking God in verse 12 -- look back at verse 12 again

12 Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

-- this version says, "forgive us our debts" -- others say, "forgive us our trespasses" -- but it means the same thing -- forgive us when we do something wrong -- forgive us when we sin against you

-- that's the basis of our faith in Christ, isn't it? -- that's the message of the Cross -- Christ has forgiven us of all of our sins and our acts of disobedience -- all of our debts and trespasses

-- but, have you ever noticed the second part of that verse --

12 Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

-- in my opinion, this is one of the scariest passages in the Bible, because the implications are profound -- Christ is literally telling us here that if we do not forgive others -- if we do not forgive those who trespass against us -- those who have wronged us -- those who have sinned against us and hurt us -- then we will not be forgiven by God

-- Is this what Jesus is actually telling us here? -- is He actually telling us that we will not receive forgiveness from God if we harbor unforgiveness in our heart? -- the answer, as best I can tell from my study of scripture, is "yes"

-- and, in case you didn't get that from verse 12, Jesus said it again in even stronger terms -- look at verse 14-15

Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV)

14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

-- stop and think about that for a moment -- think about what that means in light of your salvation

-- as the authors of "Truefaced" point out, "if we harbor unforgiveness in our hearts towards others, how can we even pretend that we are truly desirous of His forgiveness toward us?"

-- the Apostle John said something similar in 1 John 2:9 -- "Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness."

-- in other words, how can we say that we are in the light -- how can we say that we have truly received Christ's gift of forgiveness if we refuse to forgive those who have wronged us?

-- consider the context of this passage and how it would have been received by the people who actually heard Jesus speak these words -- Matthew tells us that Jesus gave the Lord's prayer and this amplification of His thoughts during the sermon on the mount -- He was speaking to first century Jews -- a people chosen by God to be His voice and His light and His deliverance to the world

-- the Jewish people had been severely wronged and harassed and persecuted over the ages -- in fact, when Jesus spoke these words, their country was in bondage to the Romans -- they may not have been slaves, but their very lives were controlled and restricted by these foreigners who had taken over their land

-- as a result, the Jews resented and hated the Romans -- according to one scholar that I read, the Jews were a people who sought revenge for trespasses and rarely showed forgiveness to others

-- but, in this petition, Jesus was calling them to a higher state -- He was calling them to put aside their hatred and their resentment and calling them to forgive those who had wronged them -- He is calling us to the same -- Why?

-- I think He gives us the answer in the way He links our forgiveness of others to the forgiveness from God

-- our ability to forgive others is a sign of God's love and forgiveness in our life -- it is a proof of our salvation -- a proof of our sanctification -- a proof that God has worked in our lives and changed us from who we used to be into people who live with the knowledge and power of God's grace and forgiveness in our lives

-- the Jewish people claimed to be the Chosen of God -- they were proud of the fact that God had established a covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob -- they knew they were the keepers of His word and that the promise of eternal life rested with them -- but, instead of showing God's love and grace and mercy to the world, they showed resentment and hatred and unforgiveness

-- in the same way, a lot of us Christians claim to be filled with God Himself -- we claim to possess within us His truth and His light and His love, but then, rather than showing that love and mercy to others, we turn right around and show resentment and hatred and unforgiveness to others

-- I think that what Christ is trying to get us to see in this prayer is that if we are truly God's people -- if we have truly been touched by God's mercy and grace and forgiveness -- then we will live out the commandment to "love our neighbor as ourselves" by pouring out God's mercy and grace onto others -- by forgiving others for the trespasses that they have committed against us even though they don't deserve it

-- if we find that we cannot forgive others, then it may be that we have never actually accepted forgiveness ourselves -- we may be like the Jewish people in Jesus' day -- claiming to represent God while not truly loving and serving Him with our whole hearts

-- as one scholar has said, "no one can reasonably imagine himself to be the object of divine forgiveness if he is deliberately and habitually unforgiving towards his fellow men"

-- there is no question about it -- if you are a Christian -- if you have been forgiven by Christ for your sins -- for all the debts and trespasses against Him -- you must forgive others when they trespass against you -- you must live a life of gracious forgiveness

-- but what does this mean? -- what does this look like?

-- I think one reason why Christians refuse to forgive is because we really don't understand what forgiveness is -- we have a misconception of forgiveness based on how the world defines it

-- a lot of us think that when we forgive someone, we are just letting them off the hook -- we're just saying, "don't worry about it -- it was nothing," and we pick right up and go back to the way things used to be and just pretend like nothing ever happened

-- that is not forgiveness

-- forgiveness is not about restoring a relationship -- restoration and reunion may eventually come through forgiveness -- but that is not the primary purpose of forgiveness

-- I want you to listen to this -- I want you to understand this -- the primary purpose of forgiving -- the reason God calls us to forgive others -- is to heal the hurts and the scars in our heart that were caused when someone that we trusted trespassed against us and sinned against us and wronged us

-- forgiveness is not something that we do for others -- it is something that we do for our self -- forgiveness is something that happens within us -- within our hearts -- and it doesn't have to involve anyone else

-- true forgiveness is one-sided -- it occurs when you make the choice to heal the hurt that is within you -- when you decide to let God heal the hurt that another has placed in your life

-- you can forgive someone and never, ever restore your relationship with them or even let them know that you have forgiven them

-- let me show you an example from the Bible

-- In two of Paul's epistles, Philemon and Colossians, we learn about Demas -- a friend of Paul's -- a fellow-worker for Christ -- someone who Paul had witnessed to and who was travelling with him and ministering with him throughout Asia

-- Paul closes his letter to the Colossians in Chapter 4 by mentioning all those working with him and he says in verse 14, "Our dear friend Luke, the doctor, and Demas send greetings" -- Demas was a trusted friend and brother to Paul -- but, Demas trespassed against Paul and wounded him deeply

-- flip over to 2 Timothy 4:9-18

2 Timothy 4:9-18 (NIV)

9 Do your best to come to me quickly,

10 for Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, and Titus to Dalmatia.

11 Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry.

12 I sent Tychicus to Ephesus.

13 When you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas, and my scrolls, especially the parchments.

14 Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm. The Lord will repay him for what he has done.

15 You too should be on your guard against him, because he strongly opposed our message.

16 At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them.

17 But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion's mouth.

18 The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

-- Demas had abandoned the faith and deserted Paul when Paul was first arrested -- he refused to stand up for Paul and instead left him alone and in prison

-- but, in this closing to the second letter to Timothy, we can see how forgiveness in the life of a Christian should work -- Paul had evidently forgiven Demas for trespassing against him -- for wounding him and violating his trust

-- look at the second part of verse 16

"May it not be held against them."

-- Paul had forgiven Demas -- he no longer was holding this sin against him -- he was no longer harboring unforgiveness in his heart

-- but, note that this forgiveness was one-sided -- Paul forgave Demas in his heart -- but Paul did not attempt to restore their relationship -- he did not attempt to reach out to Demas and bring him back into the fold of Paul's closest confidants -- Paul's trust had been violated and he could no longer trust Demas in the future -- in fact, it seems as if Paul is warning Timothy to watch out for Demas and not to trust him if he comes to Timothy

-- forgiveness does not mean restoration -- when someone hurts you -- when they wound you severely and violate the trust that you had in them -- then you may never trust them again -- in a lot of cases -- such as in the case of Demas and Paul -- such as in the case when a wife forgives an abusive husband -- you probably should never trust them again -- but, you can forgive them -- not for their sake, but for yours

-- you see, there is only one real reason for forgiving someone else when they trespass against us -- yes, Jesus does tell us that we should forgive others because it is a commandment of God -- but, it is a commandment of God for the same reason that we should go ahead and forgive on our own

-- when someone wrongs you -- when they sin against you -- it is like they have wounded your heart -- they have damaged your heart -- and you will never be well -- you will never be whole again -- until you have repaired the damage that they have done to you

-- hearts damaged by others keep us from loving God as we should -- it keeps us from loving others as we should -- it keeps us from living life as we should

-- hearts damaged by others gives Satan a stronghold into our lives -- and Satan fills up these damaged places in our hearts with anger and hatred and resentment and bitterness and a desire for vengeance -- things that hamper our Christian life

-- I've heard it said that unforgiveness is a poison we drink hoping the other person dies -- unforgiveness hurts us more than them

-- so, when God commands us to forgive others when they trespass against us, it is a commandment for our own good -- it is a call for the healing of our hearts -- not for those who wronged us -- but for us -- to cut out of our lives something that is hindering our walk with Christ and that is keeping us from becoming who God wants us to be

-- forgiveness is like the surgeon's knife that cuts cancer out of our body -- God uses this process of forgiveness to heal us and to make us whole once again

III. How do we forgive?

-- so, how do we forgive? -- what is involved in forgiving someone for trespassing against us?

-- before we can begin to forgive, we need to recognize that there is a need for forgiveness and we have to have a desire to heal the hurts within us

-- this takes time -- when we have been hurt -- when we have been violated -- it may take months, or even years, until we reach the point where we are ready to forgive the other person for the hurt that they inflicted in our hearts

-- it is okay to be angry at what happened to us -- in fact, we should be angry at what happened -- because someone we trusted violated that very trust in our lives -- and it is through that anger that our desire to heal should come

-- and, we should keep in mind that forgiveness is a process -- it is not something that happens just once and is over -- we may forgive and then find ourselves feeling those same hurts once again -- we may find that we have to continually forgive the wrong that was done to us -- that is okay and it is part of the healing process

-- in his book, "The Art of Forgiving," Lewis Smedes outlines the three steps to forgiveness that we follow when we truly seek healing in our life:

-- first, we begin the process of forgiving when we start separating the person who wronged us from the wrong that they did to us -- when someone wrongs us, in our minds, they become the wrong that they did to us -- we say things like, "he is nothing but a cheat -- he is nothing but a liar" -- we look at them and all we see is the sin

-- but, as Smedes points out, when we begin the miracle of healing, we begin to see our enemy through a cleaner lens, less smudged by hate -- we begin to see them as a person who did something wrong -- not as wrong itself

-- when God forgave us, the first thing He did was to separate us from our sin -- we were not the problem -- it was the sin that was the problem and that needed to be dealt with -- so God provided a way to cover our sins -- when God sees us, He doesn't see the sin any longer -- He sees the person underneath the sin, cleansed through the blood of Christ

-- the first step to forgiveness, then, is continuing to hate the sin but not the person who committed the sin against you

-- the second step to forgiveness is to surrender our right to get even -- when we are first wronged -- when we are first hurt -- we want to get even -- we want the other person to suffer like we have suffered and to know that they are suffering because of what they did to us -- we call this "vengeance"

-- when you start on the road to forgiveness, you are releasing your right to vengeance -- to hurting the other person unjustly -- keep in mind, though, that there is a difference between vengeance and justice -- vengeance is our pleasure of seeing someone who hurt us get hurt back -- justice is making sure that someone pays a fair penalty for wronging another -- vengeance is personal satisfaction -- justice is moral accountability

-- forgiveness does not do away with justice -- someone who wronged you may have to pay for the wrong that they have done -- but, forgiveness does mean that you don't desire them to be hurt in an unjust way simply as revenge for what they did to you

-- the final step to forgiveness is when you revise your feelings towards the person that wronged you -- you no longer hate them for who they are and you even can hope that God's grace might fall into their lives

-- this does not excuse the wrong that they have done -- it does not mean that we are going to tolerate them trespassing against us again and it does not mean that we are going to restore our relationship with them

-- but it means that you no longer have a desire for them to suffer because of what they have done to you -- and it means that if God was to reach out and touch them and change their lives for the better, that you would be happy to see that happen

-- when you have reached this stage of forgiveness, you can know for sure that the hatred and the bitterness are now removed from your life and that your heart has been healed and restored by the miraculous power of forgiveness

IV. Closing

-- forgiveness is a gift from God -- through Christ, God forgave us for the sins that we committed -- He refused to pour out His vengeance and wrath on us but offered His very Son as a sacrifice to ensure that justice was done -- and, once justice was served, God poured out His blessings on us -- on the very people that once had trespassed against Him

-- in the same way, God calls for us to forgive others that have trespassed against us -- He knows that our hearts have been hurt and damaged by others -- and He knows that these wounded hearts can keep us from loving Him and loving others as He wants

-- so, He encourages us to offer forgiveness to others in our hearts -- so that in the process of forgiveness we might find healing from the hatred and bitterness and resentment that we have built up in our lives

-- there is power in forgiveness -- and that is why Jesus commands us to pray daily, "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us"

-- as we close now, I want to encourage you to take a moment in the quiet of this place -- search your hearts and speak to the hurts and the sins and the trespasses that have been done against you -- and offer up forgiveness to those who have wronged you in the past -- not for their sake -- but for your sake -- receive the healing that God offers you as you forgive those who have trespassed against you

-- let us pray