On a wild hair, my wife and I decided to purchase an almost 30-year-old motorhome bus from her uncle at a discounted price. The only catch was we would have to drive to Arizona to pick it up. So since vacations are hard to come by as a bivocational pastor with a full-time secular job, we decided to take two weeks, travel out west, buy a bus, and enjoy the RV life on the way home. Little did I know it would be a life-changing and stretching experience. Here are a few random thoughts from what we came to know as "The Grand Arizona Bus Trip:"
1. You can always
learn new things. I learned how to drive
a bus.
2. I believe there is
a Walmart in every town between here and Arizona.
3. I believe I have
been in every Walmart between here and Arizona.
4. Walmart will let
RVs and buses spend the night free of charge in their parking lot. Regardless of the hype, Walmart is alright.
5. 4,688 miles is a
long, long way.
6. Traveling through
11 states in 14 days has made me appreciate home more than ever.
7. Georgia has the
best roads in the nation. New Mexico is close, but they're no Georgia.
8. Oklahoma has the worst roads in the
world. Oklahoma roads broke our bus. I hate Oklahoma.
9. The shooting in Oregon was a
tragedy. The shooting in Flagstaff, Arizona,
was a tragedy. Tragedies happen. It's part of living in a fallen world.
10. Guns kill
people. But so do knives (ask the
citizens of Israel). And so do rocks (See Genesis -- Cain and
Abel). People kill people. Banning guns is not the answer. Banning knives is not the answer. Banning rocks? No.
How about changing hearts and lives through the power and love of Christ
and stopping the hate at the source...
11. Planned
Parenthood is evil. There is no if,
ands, or buts about it. It is an evil
organization that has ruthlessly slaughtered thousands upon thousands of
innocent unborn lives. Don't talk to me
about choice as you promote the killing of babies. (Feel free to unfriend me if you
disagree. I don't care.)
12. People are the
same everywhere you go. They all are
looking for someone who cares. For
someone who will love them regardless of who they are. They just want to be known and to know. There's a hole in their hearts they are
trying to fill that can only be filled by God.
13. Talk to
people. Don't just say, "How are
you doing?" But say, "How are
you doing," and mean it. Listen to
them. Ask them their stories. Everyone has a story and they just want to
share it.
14. I have done no
exercise in two weeks, unless you consider grunting out loud while climbing in
and out of a bus "exercise."
15. There is no such
thing as a "dry heat." Hot is
hot. I don't care where you are. 106 in Phoenix
was hot. And declaring, "but it's a
dry heat," didn't make it any less hot.
16. I don't know why
people live in Phoenix.
17. For that reason,
I don't know why people live in Sierra
Vista, Arizona with
the heat, tarantulas, and rattlesnakes.
18. Tombstone, Arizona,
is really cool. Sure, it's a tourist
trap. But it's living history.
19. No where in Tombstone was it written or published that Doc Holliday
was from Valdosta.
20. People in Tombstone don't like it when you talk about Doc Holliday
being from Valdosta.
21. Bucee's Service
Station on I-10 actually does have the cleanest restrooms in the world (as
advertised). It was worth the stop.
22. Just because I am
old and fat doesn't mean I have to accept the advice from the 20-year old girl
at the counter of the KOA campground that perhaps I should try hiking the
"Fat Man's Loop" instead of the others on the map.
23. The Fat Man's Loop was more than I bargained for.
24. Young, fit people
should not run (literally, running) past old, fat men gasping for air on a
trail and act like they're in the way.
If you can run on mountain trails, you shouldn't be on the Fat Man's Loop.
25. Do not take the
road from Sedona to Flagstaff,
Arizona, if you are weak of
heart. Or driving a bus. Or driving.
26. I will never take
the road from Sedona to Flagstaff
again.
27. It's okay to ask for
help when you need it. Especially when
your bus is broken and you don't know how to fix it.
28. Google maps and
Google navigation was created by people who don't read maps. Or else they are sadistic.
29. Don't rely on
Google maps.
30. When a local
says, "the road has a few curves," look for an alternate route.
31. Winds were worse
in Arkansas and Alabama
than in the plains of Texas, Oklahoma,
and New Mexico,
despite the warnings about driving buses in those states.
32. When you are told
to "sit anywhere," that doesn't mean the round table in the middle of
the room.
33. Apparently, round
tables are reserved for royalty. I
guess.
34. Elevators that go
750 feet below ground are scary.
35. If you are going
to be a volunteer for a National Park, at least try to be nice. I know you get asked the same questions every
day, but if you don't want to be helpful, don't be there.
36. Christians know
each other when they meet. I don't know
how, but they do. I guess our spirits
connect.
37. I don't know why
Native Americans chose to build their pueblos so far away from the interstate.
38. When you scratch
yourself on a rock looking at petroglyphs, go ahead and start antibiotics
immediately. I'm not saying it was an
Indian curse, but still...
39. You haven't seen
weird until you see people lining up to fill jugs of hot water at fountains in Hot Springs, Arkansas.
40. There are no
springs in Hot Springs, Arkansas.
Only fountains. And commercial
baths. But no springs.
41. Not all National
Parks are in wild places.
42. Albuquerque is actually pretty cool. Sometimes the best places to visit are those
you wouldn't think of going to see.
43. Everyone should
take a long RV trip across the country with their family. Once.
