SERMON: TAKING ADVICE

12 April 2015

I.  Introduction

            -- turn in Bibles to Proverbs 12:26

Proverbs 12:26 (NIV)
²⁶ A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

            -- if there is one maxim I have discovered in my life to be absolutely true, it is this:  Everybody else knows exactly what you should be doing, and they don't hesitate to let you know

            -- just think about it -- everywhere you look today, you see people trying to give advice -- if not in person, then through Facebook and twitter and Instagram and even through bumper stickers and t-shirts -- everybody wants to tell you what to do

            -- this week -- just take a moment and see how many signs or messages you see that begin with the words, "Keep Calm" -- they're everywhere -- this message started as a motivational poster to the British during World War II -- the British Government commissioned signs that said "Keep Calm and Carry On" to be printed and put up all around the country to encourage people during the hard times of World War II

            -- but recently, these signs have been showing up everywhere with all kinds of different instruction -- Keep Calm and Read a Book -- Keep Calm and Study On -- Keep Calm and Stop Texting -- Keep Calm and Drink Coffee -- Keep Calm and Love Life -- Keep Calm and Be Yourself -- the list is endless -- and if you look around town, you'll see people everywhere trying to advise you on what you should be doing

            -- that's the thing about advice -- we love to give advice -- more so than receive it

            -- I remember when I was just starting my career as a wildlife biologist, I gave some advice one day that could have been deadly -- another guy and I were on Ossabaw Island and were conducting some surveys for sites to trap feral hogs -- and as we made our way through the woods, we ran across a very large alligator -- this guy had to be 10 feet long or so -- and there he was, sitting right in the middle of a pine forest -- the only thing we could figure is he was crossing from one body of water to another, perhaps seeking a mate

            -- so we pulled out our cameras and started taking photographs -- but there's nothing more boring than a photograph of an alligator just laying there doing nothing -- it's like a picture of a log -- this gator could have been stuffed, for all the action we were seeing

            -- so we talked about it -- we were both young biologists -- we wanted action photos -- animals doing things -- not just laying there looking like a log -- the guy I was with was from up north where they didn't have alligators -- he said, "well, how do we make it move?" -- and so I told him -- "take a stick and tap it on the head -- that will make it move" -- sounded good -- I told him I'd take pictures first and then we'd switch positions and he could take pictures

            -- so he grabbed a long branch -- probably about five foot long -- and he gingerly approached this alligator from the front and reached out and tapped the alligator on the head -- and, all of a sudden, the alligator lunged at him with mouth open -- he turned to run...and fell

            -- so there we were -- I was standing there taking pictures and I watched the sheer panic on his face as the alligator came after him -- luckily, there was a fallen log between him and the alligator -- and the alligator stopped his charge when he got to the log and my friend was able to get up and get safely away

            -- my bad advice to this guy almost resulted in a serious accident

            -- but isn't that the way of most bad advice? -- bad advice kills people -- bad advice does nothing good -- that's why Solomon wrote here in Proverbs 12:26 that a righteous man is cautious in friendship -- you're careful in who your friends are and you're careful in what they tell you -- because the way of the wicked will lead you astray

            -- the New Living Translation puts a better spin on this in terms of advice -- it says "the godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray"

           

            -- this morning I wanted us to take a moment and think about advice -- where do we get our advice from? -- who do we listen to when we need counsel?

            -- do we get our advice from the internet? -- from Facebook or other social media? -- do we get it from our friends? -- where should we turn for good advice?

            -- so let's turn over to the Old Testament book of 1 Kings 12 and let's look at the story of Rehoboam -- a young man who is the poster child for what happens when you take bad advice

II.  Scripture Lesson (1 Kings 12:1-15)

            -- while you are turning there, let me give you the background for this passage -- 1 Kings 12 takes place in the united kingdom of Israel -- as you remember, David had been anointed king by God and had united the twelve tribes of Israel into a strong and powerful nation

            -- after his death, his son Solomon continued to reign over the twelve tribes from Jerusalem, as the sole king of the nation of Israel -- however, Solomon was not a man of the people as David was -- and although he had prayed to God for wisdom and was known as the most wise man who ever lived, his reign did not necessarily reflect this wisdom

            -- Solomon loved extravagance in all things -- he had 700 wives and 300 concubines, many of these women from foreign lands with foreign gods -- and their influence on Solomon led him to neglect the worship of the one true God -- he was also wealthy beyond compare and this wealth led him to tax the people in Israel heavily -- especially the people who lived north of Jerusalem and who belonged to the northern ten tribes of Israel -- Solomon also required the people to serve him directly as a type of indentured servitude

            -- all of this caused bad blood between the northern ten tribes and Solomon's government -- since Solomon was from the tribe of Judah and his throne and palace were in the lands of the southern two tribes, the northern tribes felt Solomon discriminated against them and was too harsh with them -- a deep-seated resentment of Solomon began that continued right up to his death

            -- which brings us to 1 Kings 12 and the coronation of Solomon's son Rehoboam as King of Israel

            -- look with me now at 1 Kings 12:1 and we'll start looking at the story of Rehoboam

            -- verse 1

1 Kings 12:1 (NIV)

1 Rehoboam went to Shechem, for all the Israelites had gone there to make him king.

            -- now Shechem was a town in the north -- and, apparently, rather than taking the crown in Jerusalem, Rehoboam decided to have the ceremony in the north, possibly as a gesture of good will -- everyone was aware of the tension between the north and the south -- and Rehoboam's decision to be crowned in Shechem could be taken as a step in the right direction -- the new king reaching out to the people in the north, telling them that he was not going to follow the same pattern as his father Solomon

            -- verse 2-5

1 Kings 12:2-5 (NIV)

2 When Jeroboam son of Nebat heard this (he was still in Egypt, where he had fled from King Solomon), he returned from Egypt.

3 So they sent for Jeroboam, and he and the whole assembly of Israel went to Rehoboam and said to him:

4 "Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but now lighten the harsh labor and the heavy yoke he put on us, and we will serve you."

5 Rehoboam answered, "Go away for three days and then come back to me." So the people went away.

            -- Jereboam was the de facto leader of the people in the north -- he had been exiled from Israel by Solomon because he apparently had tried to wrest control of the northern tribes from the kingdom

            -- just as a backside to the story -- God had sent a prophet to Jereboam to proclaim that God was going to punish Solomon for his sins by splitting the kingdom into two areas and that Jereboam was going to be the king of the northern area -- Jereboam had decided to make the prophecy come true in his own timing rather than wait on God, so Solomon exiled him from the country

            -- now that Solomon has died and Rehoboam has taken his place, Jereboam returns to address the grievances of the northern tribes to the new king -- he asks Rehoboam to give them a break -- to lessen the taxes -- to take away the demand for harsh labor -- and promises they will serve him and support his kingdom in exchange

            -- so Rehoboam does a wise thing -- he doesn't make a decision on the spot, but instead takes three days to make a decision

            -- this is good advice for us to follow in our own lives -- when we have a decision to make, it's always wise to take a moment to think it through before acting -- to just pause and consider all the options and all the consequences of our actions before we act

            -- so Rehoboam has done two smart things so far as king -- first, he reached out to the northern tribes by being crowned in Shechem -- and secondly, he waited to make a decision that could impact his kingdom until he had time to think about it

            -- verse 6-7

1 Kings 12:6-7 (NIV)

6 Then King Rehoboam consulted the elders who had served his father Solomon during his lifetime. "How would you advise me to answer these people?" he asked.

7 They replied, "If today you will be a servant to these people and serve them and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your servants."

            -- so Rehoboam does another smart thing -- when faced with this enormous problem, he goes to someone else for counsel -- it's never a bad idea to ask others for their advice -- the question is:  who do we ask?

            -- in this case Rehoboam goes to the elders who had advised King Solomon during his reign -- these are men of experience who had served in the kingdom and who were well aware of the issues with the northern tribes -- they understood the situation -- and they were able to speak from a place of wisdom and knowledge -- they had seen the way Solomon handled the north -- and they knew what would work and what wouldn't work

            -- so these elders advise Rehoboam to heed the request of the northern kingdom -- to repair the damage his father Solomon had caused by taking the position of a servant -- by doing the opposite of what Solomon had done -- instead of serving self, they advised Rehoboam to serve others -- to put the people's needs and concerns first -- and to lessen their taxes and their burden of servitude

            -- but apparently, Rehoboam didn't like their advice -- isn't that the case with us? -- a lot of times we ask for advice, but what we're really asking for is affirmation of what we already want to do -- we don't want to hear someone tell us something that doesn't agree with what we already think, so we go off and try to find someone who will tell us that

            -- verse 8-11

1 Kings 12:8-11 (NIV)

8 But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with him and were serving him.

9 He asked them, "What is your advice? How should we answer these people who say to me, 'Lighten the yoke your father put on us'?"

10 The young men who had grown up with him replied, "Tell these people who have said to you, 'Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but make our yoke lighter'--tell them, 'My little finger is thicker than my father's waist.

11 My father laid on you a heavy yoke; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.'"

            -- when Rehoboam didn't get the answer he wanted from the elders, he turned to his own friends and asked them what they thought

            -- you've got to remember -- Rehoboam grew up in the lap of luxury -- he and his friends were accustomed to a wealthy and privileged lifestyle -- they didn't have the experience and the wisdom of the elders -- they didn't understand the plight of the people in the northern tribes -- all they heard was a request to give them less money and less service -- and not a one of them wanted to do with less than what they currently had

            -- in fact, they said, let's ask for more -- tell them you're going to demand more money and more service and you're going to even be harder on them than Solomon was

           

            -- verse 12-15

1 Kings 12:12-15 (NIV)

12 Three days later Jeroboam and all the people returned to Rehoboam, as the king had said, "Come back to me in three days."

13 The king answered the people harshly. Rejecting the advice given him by the elders,

14 he followed the advice of the young men and said, "My father made your yoke heavy; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions."

15 So the king did not listen to the people, for this turn of events was from the LORD, to fulfill the word the LORD had spoken to Jeroboam son of Nebat through Ahijah the Shilonite.

            -- so Rehoboam does just that -- he rejects the counsel of the elders and does what his friends tell him to do and it turns out just like you'd expect -- the people are distraught and they aren't going to stand for it any longer

            -- this passage goes on to say that the northern tribe rebelled against Rehoboam and refused him as their king -- they install Jereboam as their king and form the northern kingdom, known in the Bible as Israel

            -- Rehoboam retreats to Jerusalem to rule the southern two tribes of Judah and Benjamin with his friends that gave the bad advice

III.  Advice about Advice

            -- so what can we learn about taking and giving advice from this passage?

            -- first, you need to consider who you go to for advice -- you need to think about who you are friends with

            -- Jim Rohn wrote that we are the average of the five people we spend most of our time with -- if we spend time with people who aren't good for us -- if we spend time with people who make questionable choices in their own lives -- then we're going to start acting like them

            -- we need to surround ourselves with good and godly people if we want to act that way in our own lives

            -- Rehoboam's friends were self-serving and self-seeking -- they were immature and they didn't pause to consider the suffering of those around them -- all they were concerned with was their own wealth and their own pleasure -- don't seek advice from people like this

            -- instead, seek advice from mature and wise people -- from mature and godly people -- seek advice from people who have experienced similar issues in their lives -- and listen to their counsel before you act

            -- second, we need to recognize that good advice is true advice -- most people go to others just wanting them to affirm what they already want to do -- they don't want to hear the truth -- they just want you to tell them, "Go for it"

            -- I heard about a couple in church one time that went to their pastor and told him that God had spoken to them -- God wanted them to divorce their spouses and to marry each other -- and they went to the pastor to get his blessing -- but they weren't happy when they heard his response

            -- good advice speaks to the truth of a situation, even if that truth is painful -- a lot of times, when we have problems in our lives, we're the problem -- as the old saying goes, "everywhere you go, there you are" -- and a wise person can be a mirror in your life to show you the truth of a situation as they advise you on what you need to do -- not what you want to do

            -- third, we need to weigh any advice we receive against the word of God -- we need to base all our decisions on God's moral principles that we see in the Bible -- never accept advice that goes against God's moral principles -- never accept advice that tells you to do something contrary to God's word -- integrity should be the cornerstone of all we do in our lives

            -- God's principle for leadership in the Bible is clear -- He calls for servant leadership -- not exalted leadership -- but Rehoboam didn't want to hear that from his father's advisors -- he wanted to be served, rather than serve -- and by not following God's principles, he lost his kingdom

           

            -- fourth, we need to seek advice from those who have our best interests in mind -- Bob Goff wrote, "if someone I trust tells me something, and I know it's for my benefit, I just trust it." -- he goes on to say, "I've found one of the best filters you can use to trust someone is when there's nothing for them to gain from their advice."

            -- Rehoboam's friends had something to gain from their advice -- they were going to get to keep their extravagant lifestyle -- that should be a warning sign to us when others give us advice

            -- always seek advice that serves your best interests rather than the interests of the person you're asking

            -- finally, good advice addresses the problem -- good advice addresses our needs and gives us steps to take to fix it

            -- in this case, the issue was how to repair the break between the northern and southern tribes -- the advice given by the elders would have resolved this issue and mended broken relationships -- but Rehoboam chose to take advice contrary to them and ended up making a bad situation worse

            -- if someone tells you to do something that doesn't help the situation, don't do it -- action for the sake of action is not always the right course

            -- so the take-home message is this -- lean not on your own understanding, but trust in the Lord with all your heart -- if you are faced with a situation and you put God's positions and principles first -- listen to His people and the advice they give -- and you'll always come out best

            -- it's wise to seek counsel when you don't know what to do, but be careful who you go to for advice -- avoid ungodly people -- avoid immature people, even immature Christians -- go to people who have experience and wisdom -- who have walked with God for a long time and who know God's word -- listen to their advice and see if it lines up with Scripture -- and if it does, then go for it

            -- let's pray