Wednesday, March 14, 2018

THE GRACE OF TOUGH LOVE


In our community, there is a young man who is a known drug user.  Despite coming from a good family, this young man succumbed to the temptation of drugs and became dependent on them, starting with marijuana and gradually progressing to harder and harder drugs.  He has been in trouble with the law from time to time for the possession and use of drugs, and has had trouble holding down a job because of his dependency.

This young man’s family tried everything they could to help him with his problem.  They bailed him out of jail countless times.  They sought him when he was lost and away from home in a drug stupor.  They rescued him from the crack houses and other dens of iniquity where he had gone.  And, they kept putting him into rehab program after rehab program, just to watch him leave the program early and never succeed in breaking the habit that was harming his body, soul, and spirit.

Finally, they reached the point where they felt they could do no more.  The only thing left for them was to hold the young man responsible for his actions, to force him to fully bear the consequences of his sins.  They told the young man that they loved him, but they could no longer support him or his habit.  As long as he was on drugs and not working, they would not let him into their lives.  He could not live with them.  He was on his own until he decided to make a change, an action known as “tough love.”

Sometimes, it takes drastic actions such as tough love to reach someone with the truth of their situation.  While it is hard for the families involved, tough love may be the only way to open the eyes of the wayward sinner and help them to see the destructiveness of their lives and their need for deliverance.  Hopefully, the tough love of this family will help this young man turn from his current ways and seek the help that leads to true deliverance from his addictions.

We see the first evidence of tough love all the way back in the Book of Genesis.  In Genesis 3, we read of the fall of man in the Garden of Eden.  As you probably know, God had created Adam and Eve and placed them in a garden of paradise called Eden.  Here they lived in perfect harmony with God and with all creation, a condition that reflects the true meaning of the Hebrew word, Shalom.  But, it didn’t last.

One day, Eve was in the garden when she was confronted by Satan.  The Bible tells us he was in the form of a serpent, although the Hebrew meaning of serpent in this passage may actually refer to a being of light, a direct reference to the fallen Lucifer.  Regardless of the form he assumed, the Bible tells us that Satan tempted Eve to eat of the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, in direct disobedience to God’s instructions.  Eve listened to the half-truths of the devil and reached out and ate of the fruit, and gave of it to her husband, Adam.  In that instance, their eyes were opened and they died spiritually -- the first sin -- the original sin.  Disobedience and darkness had marred the paradise of Eden and the entire human race for all time.

God felt the separation from man as sin put up a barrier between Him and His beloved creations.  In Genesis 3:9, God calls out to Adam, “Where are you?”  Obviously, God knew where Adam was, physically and spiritually.  He is God, after all.  This cry was a pronouncement of the separation and distance that had sprung up between Him and Adam and Eve. 
 
This cry was also the first expression of grace given to a sinner in Creation.  By crying out, “Where are you?”, God was offering Adam and Eve the opportunity to confess and admit their sin and then to repent of their actions.  Grace reaches out to us in our sin and leads us to confession, to the point where we can recognize the truth of our situation and own up to it, much as a drug addict must eventually own up to his addiction if they are to seek healing.

The following scene in the garden is heart-wrenching, as God hears the confession of Adam and then pronounces the consequences of their sins on both Adam and Eve and the serpent.  Their lives would never be the same again.  Their relationship would never be the same again.

And then we see the act of tough love from God to Adam and Eve.  In Genesis 3:22, God said, “The Man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil.  He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.”  And in Genesis 3:23, we read that “the Lord God banished him [Adam] from the Garden of Eden.

I always found these verses particularly interesting.  First, the issue with the tree of life.  God’s original command to Adam in Genesis 2:16-17 was that Adam could eat of any tree in the garden, but not from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  This was the only tree Adam could not eat from.  Meaning that prior to their disobedience and sin, Adam and Eve could have freely eaten from the tree of life.  It is only after their sin that God seeks to prevent them from doing so.  Why?

This brings up the next interesting point:  The purpose of banishing them from the garden of Eden was an act of grace, an act of tough love, meant to help Adam and Eve and not to harm them.  The key relates to Adam and Eve’s association with the tree of life and with their sin.  Before the fall, Adam and Eve were allowed to eat of the tree of life.  But, their relationship with God at this time was a perfect relationship.  Sin had not entered into the equation and marred the relationship.  There was no harm in eating of the tree of life since they were in perfect accord with God and in shalom with Him and all creation.

However, now that they had sinned and taken darkness into themselves, Adam and Eve’s relationship with God and creation was stained.  The sin had corrupted them, affecting their very soul and spirit.  They could not be made whole again without divine intervention (i.e. the atoning death of Christ, who was promised in Genesis 3:15).  So, what would have happened if Adam and Eve had continued to eat of the tree of life while sin reigned in their body?  They would have lived forever in a state of sin.  They would not have the opportunity for redemption and cleansing from their sins.  They would be immortally sinful.

By casting them out of the garden, by showing them “tough love,” God poured out His grace on Adam and Eve.  He eliminated the potential of immortality without redemption by excluding them from the tree of life.  He put them in a place where the consequences of their sin would be felt daily, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.  No longer would they live in close relationship with God and in perfect harmony with nature.  Now, the consequence of their sin would result in disharmony.  But, this was part of God’s grace. 

God’s tough love in casting them from His perfect garden was a means of grace in terms of leading Adam and Eve to repentance and redemption.  Their hope was centered on the One who was promised to come and deliver them, who would crush the head of the serpent and redeem them from the curse of their sin.  By casting them out and forcing them to accept the responsibility of their sin and to bear the consequences for the rest of their mortal lives, God made it possible for Adam and Eve to find true salvation through the promised Messiah.

Tough love was God’s original means of grace to Adam and Eve.  And tough love, despite how hard it may be for families of addicts, is a way of giving grace to our loved ones so that they, too, might recognize their need for repentance and redemption, however it may come.  If you find yourself in a situation where tough love is required, know that God sometimes allows pain into our lives so that our eternity might be redeemed.  This is why tough love was given to Adam and Eve, and this is why tough love should be given to those in our family who need it.

Pastor Greg

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