SERMON: 40 Days of Love -- Love that Lasts

40 DAYS OF LOVE SERMON SERIES:

LOVE THAT LASTS

22 March 2009

 

I. Introduction

    -- turn in Bibles to 1 Corinthians 13

 

4. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

5. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

6. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

7. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8. Love never fails.

 

    -- this morning, as we finish our series on the 40 Days of Love, our key verses are verses 7 and 8

    -- notice how many times Paul uses that word "always" in these verses -- love "always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres"

    -- Paul is making a point here -- "Love never fails" -- love always surrounds you -- it always lifts you up -- it always is there for you -- love will never let you down

    -- but, is that true? -- do we always experience God's love in our lives in this way? -- do we always give out God's love to others in this way?

    -- it's no secret to any of us that it's hard to maintain this type of love -- there are times in our lives when we just seem to run dry -- when God's love seems distant -- when God seems distant -- and when giving love to others is the farthest thing from our minds -- this happens for a couple of reasons

    -- first, it's just like the seed that landed on the rocky path and in the bad soil in Jesus' parable about the sower -- if we're not careful, the cares and worries and troubles of this world and the actions of the evil one will snatch away God's word and God's love and keep it from growing in our hearts

    -- and secondly, another reason why it's hard for us to maintain this type of love in our life is because we are continually giving it away -- as Christians, when we are filled with God's love, we naturally want to give it out to others -- we minister to them -- we serve them -- we love them -- we give to them -- over and over and over

    -- just to give you a physical picture of what's going on -- it's kind of like we're this cup -- we start out filled with God's love to over-flowing -- and then we give a little to this person -- and a little to this person -- and a little more to this next person -- and before long, we find out that our cup is starting to run dry -- eventually, there's not enough love in our cup to sustain us, much less to give out love to others

    -- and that's when we start to feel like we are distant from God -- distant from God's love -- distant from others -- it's those times in our lives when we are empty that we just can't offer up love for others, and we find ourselves getting irritable and short-tempered with those around us and selfish in all we do

    -- in order to always experience God's love in our lives -- in order to experience this overwhelming and all-encompassing and protecting love and give it out to others -- we have to stay connected -- we have to continually go to the source of love in order to be refilled and renewed and refreshed so that love is constantly flowing in our life like a river of living water

    -- the question, then, is how do we do that? -- How do we stay filled with God's love? -- How do we keep our cups filled to overflowing so that our love lasts -- so that we can continue to love others as God loves us?

    -- the answer to these questions is not some great big secret -- it's written down right there in the Bible for all to see -- and it's demonstrated through Jesus' example to us

    -- basically, in order to maintain a loving heart -- in order to have a love that lasts -- both for us and for others -- we have to develop healthy habits in three areas of our lives -- our bodies -- our minds -- and our spirits

    -- so, this morning, if you would, turn over to Deuteronomy 6 with me and let's start looking at this concept of being renewed, revived, and refreshed in God's love by developing healthy habits in these three areas

 

II. Developing Healthy Heart Habits

    -- verse 1

 

1. These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess,

2. so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life.

3. Hear, O Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your fathers, promised you.

 

    -- a lot of people have a misconception about Christianity and about Jesus -- they tend to think of Jesus as nothing more than a fire escape -- a plan that you have to get out safely at the end -- they think that church is just about what you're going to do when you die

    -- that's the way a lot of people approach church -- that's the way a lot of people approach Jesus -- that's the way a lot of people approach evangelism -- we like to ask the question, "If you were to die today, would you go to heaven or hell?" -- but that's not the real issue -- that's not why Jesus came

    -- as He tells us in John 10:10, "I came that you might have life and have it abundantly" -- and we see the same thing here -- God's love for us is not just about heaven and hell -- it's not just about getting ready to die -- God's love has to do with living

    -- it says right here that we should follow God's path -- we should follow His commands and His decrees and His laws so that we might enjoy life with Him and with those around us -- not just that we might live -- but that we might "enjoy" life

    -- it is only by following God -- by staying filled with His love -- by constantly giving out His love to others -- that we live life to its fullest -- that we live a long and abundant life

    -- so, how do we do this?

 

    -- verse 4

 

4. Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.

5. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

 

    -- as I said earlier, there are three areas that we have to consider in our lives -- that we have to maintain in our lives -- if we are to remain connected and filled to overflowing with God's love

    -- Verse 5 tells us that we are to love God with all our strength -- that's physical strength -- that's our body

    -- we are to love God with all our heart -- that's our emotions -- as some translations put it, that's our mind

    -- and, finally, we are to love God with all our soul -- that's our spirit

    -- body, mind, and spirit -- these are the three connections that we must maintain in order to keep God's love fresh and flowing in our lives -- let's look at these separately as we consider how to maintain a loving heart

 

    1. We need to develop habits that refresh us physically -- that keep our bodies fit and functioning -- it's no secret that when we are sick or run-down or physically tired, we just don't feel like loving others in the same way we do when we are in top condition

    -- when I first started in the ministry, Kim and Brooke couldn't understand why I always took a nap on Sunday afternoon -- but after spending time preparing sermons and Bible studies and preaching at two services every Sunday, I get physically drained -- I need to refresh my body -- I need to renew my strength

    -- and I've found that for me, one of the best ways to do this is to get more rest -- I'm just like all of you -- we're just constantly on the run -- grabbing a meal when we can and not making an effort to take care of our bodies -- and even though I sometimes feel guilty about doing it, I have found if I just stop and rest and take a short nap, I wake up refreshed and renewed

    -- along those same lines, I've found that my body works best when I eat healthy meals -- when I eat a balanced diet -- when I get regular exercise -- when I have those three things working in my life -- rest and diet and exercise -- I find my strength is greater and that I am more able to do things with God and for others

    -- 1 Corinthians 6:20 says to "honor God with your body" -- Psalm 127:2 says it is vain to rise early and stay up late and to spend all your time toiling for food -- it says that God causes those He loves to sleep

    -- the first thing we need to do to maintain a loving heart is to take care of our bodies and develop habits that refresh us physically

 

    2. We need to develop habits that recharge us emotionally -- that keep our minds and our hearts fit and functioning -- living in this world today takes a toll on our emotional health -- and as we give more and more of ourselves to others, we need to stop and refill our emotional love tanks

    -- I had a friend who just poured herself into her ministry -- she lived for others -- she took their pains and troubles and trials onto herself and just bore them for the people around her -- she just gave and gave and gave -- but, the problem was, she never took time to refill her emotional love tank -- and one night, she just broke down -- she ran out of gas -- and was over-whelmed with all of that pain and emotion that she had been bearing for others

    -- she hadn't taken time for herself -- she didn't recharge herself emotionally -- and she found herself unable to love and minister to anyone -- it took time for her to recharge and to reconnect and to get back into the swing of things

    -- we have to be careful that we don't let our emotional love tank run dry and that we don't let it get filled with the wrong type of emotions -- there are just so many times you can watch the news and not get depressed -- there are just so many times you can help someone with problems in their lives without getting cynical -- and so we need to take time to recharge our emotions

    -- there's three ways to do this -- first, we need solitude -- in Mark 6:31, when Jesus' disciples were starting to run low and get over-whelmed by the ministry they were doing, Jesus told them to come with Him to a quiet place to get some rest -- this is why God commanded us to have a Sabbath -- not a time to just physically rest -- but a time to get away by ourselves with God -- a time to reconnect with Him and to let Him recharge us away from the hustle and bustle of this world

    -- secondly, we need recreation -- we need to re-create ourselves -- we need to find something that energizes us -- a hobby -- a sport -- something that interests us -- that entertains us -- that can help refill us up in a healthy way

    -- and, finally, we need laughter -- I read a study the other day that said that we don't laugh enough -- that kindergarten kids laugh over 300 times a day but that adults laugh no more than 17 times a day -- the study went on to say that laughter dissolves tension and stress and anxiety -- it boosts our immune system -- it reduces pain -- it improves our ability to deal with life -- this study said that we need to laugh more -- laughing can recharge your emotional tank

    -- after a long day at work, I like to come home and watch sitcoms on the tv -- I am emotionally and physically drained -- and I have found that if I watch a short comedy or listen to a funny show on the radio that I am a lot more refreshed than if I come home and watch the news

    -- in order to maintain a loving heart, we have to recharge ourselves emotionally

 

    3. Finally, we need to develop habits that renew us spiritually -- we can never forget the source of our love -- we have to intentionally spend time with God daily and let His Spirit renew us and revive us -- in Romans 12, Paul tells us that we will be transformed by the renewing of our mind -- by the renewing of our spirit

    -- don't forget, Christianity is not about dying -- it's about living -- it's about being renewed and experiencing God's love and power in our lives now -- not just in the future after we die

    -- in John 15:5, Jesus said, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." -- we need to go back to the Source on a daily basis -- we need to stay connected with God

    -- we do this in three main ways -- first, through having a daily quiet time with God -- a time when we get alone with Him and just spend time in His presence -- reading His word -- praying -- and listening for His voice in our lives

    -- secondly, we do this by participating in a small group or by spending time with a mentor -- we need others in our lives to help pull us along -- to pick us up when we fall -- to encourage us to keep going

    -- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! -- Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? -- Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

    -- finally, we need to spend regular time in corporate worship -- in worship with others -- we need to come together on a regular basis and join together as one people and one church and lift our voices and hearts up to God in worship -- to pray with others -- to participate in the sacraments

    -- it takes all three of these -- a daily quiet time -- small groups -- and worship -- to renew ourselves spiritually

 

III. Closing

    -- as we close this series on the 40 Days of Love, one thing stands out -- the quality of our relationship with God determines the quality of every other relationship we have -- if we are going to love others as Christ loved us -- if we are going to share with them God's agape love and become people of love and life -- then we are going to have to have a quality relationship with God

    -- we are going to have to develop the habits that are needed to love the Lord our God with all our heart and soul and strength -- we are going to have to intentionally keep our cups filled so that we might let God's love overflow from our lives to those around us

    -- as I close this morning, let me encourage you to go back through your notes for these past six weeks and to look at the path to a deeper love relationship with God -- we've covered a lot of ground in this study -- some of it was familiar -- some of it may have been new

    -- but one thing is certain -- you are only going to get out of this what you put into it -- and if you just put these lessons out of sight and out of mind, you are not going to develop the loving heart that Christ wanted us to

    -- God calls us to love Him and to experience His love now -- to live the abundant and full life that He called us to live here -- and the only way to do that is by developing and maintaining hearts of love as we seek to love Him with all our heart and soul and strength and as we seek to love our neighbor as ourselves

    -- let us pray

SERMON: 40 Days of Love: Love is not Selfish

40 DAYS OF LOVE SERMON SERIES:

LOVE IS NOT SELFISH

15 March 2009

 

 

I. Introduction

    -- turn in Bibles to 1 Corinthians 13

 

4. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

5. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

6. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

7. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8. Love never fails.

 

    -- this morning, as we continue on our series on the 40 Days of Love, our key verse is verse 5, specifically the part of that verse where the Apostle Paul tells us that love is not self-seeking -- or, to put that in other words, love is not selfish

 

    -- selfishness goes against everything that Jesus taught, but we are currently living in the most self-conscious society that has ever existed -- people are more concerned about themselves and their happiness than at any point in history -- especially, the younger generations

    -- you've heard about the "Me" generation? -- that's what we're living right now -- looking at our society as a whole, we are seeing an entire generation -- an entire culture -- that puts the needs of the individual first -- that doesn't understand the concept of duty or sacrifice before self -- the focus is all on "Me" -- we are the "I" generation -- I-phones -- I-pods -- even the Army had the slogan a few years ago, "An Army of One" -- and guess who the "One" was? -- yeah, me -- it's all about "I" and "me" and "mine"

    -- I look around at what's going on and I'm reminded of that song from Toby Keith from a few years ago, "I want to talk about me" -- "I want to talk about me, I want to talk about I, want to talk about number one -- Oh my me my -- What I think -- what I like -- what I know -- what I want -- what I see -- I like talking about you, usually, but occasionally, I want to talk about me."

 

    -- just walk into any bookstore -- look at the New York Times Bestseller List -- and see what's flying off the shelves -- see what people are reading today -- what you'll find is that everyone is obsessed with self -- one of the largest sections you'll find in a bookstore now is the "self-improvement" section -- look at the magazines and see how many are focused on self-health and self-improvement and self-growth -- there's even a magazine simply called, "Self"

    -- one of the most popular websites in the country is called, "Self-growth" -- touting itself as the comprehensive self-improvement encyclopedia for the web -- we are a culture focused on ourselves -- we are a selfish generation

 

    -- in the past 10 years, we've had this proliferation of social networking sites -- it started out with a site called, curiously, "My Space" -- from there it's gone to Facebook and other sites where the focus is on self -- you create a homepage that's all about you -- what you like -- what you are doing -- what is important to you -- and in a classic example of Narcissism, you expect people to just come and view your site because you are that important -- you are so important that people just need to know what you are doing and what you think

    -- and now, the newest thing to hit the technological scene is "Twitter" -- anyone in here "Twitter?" -- it's becoming the hottest thing in the country -- according to the Twitter website, "Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co-workers to communicate and stay through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: what are you doing?"

    -- the concept is that throughout the day, you constantly write up little "tweets" that answer that question, "What am I doing at this moment?" -- and you invite people to join your Twitter feed so that they can focus on you and what you are doing throughout the day

    -- as Toby Keith said, "It's all about me -- it's all about "I""

 

    -- after years of counseling people and talking with them about relationships, especially marriage relationships, I have come to the conclusion that most of the problems in a relationship come back to the fact that someone in the relationship is focusing too much on "self" and not enough on the other person -- they're focusing too much on their wants -- their needs -- their happiness -- their dreams -- and if they're not being self-fulfilled in this relationship, then the easy answer is to get out and start another one

    -- the Bible teaches that you can't be selfish and loving at the same time -- and if the focus of your relationship is "you" rather than the other person, it is doomed for failure -- Rick Warren says that "selfishness is a poison to relationships"

    -- when you focus on "Me" and "I," you are telling the world -- and telling those that you love -- that you are greater or more important than them

 

II. Scripture Lesson (Matthew 20:20-28)

    -- unfortunately, the church is not immune from this focus on self -- a lot of preachers and teachers and churches focus on self and improving self over Christ's clear call to deny ourselves and put others above us -- and even though the church is the one place where you should never see politics or exaltation among members, that is exactly what we see time and time again as members try to take on the more important roles or try to get their agendas pushed forward at the expense of others

    -- we see the same thing happening here in the Bible among Jesus' first followers -- if you would, turn with me to Matthew 20 and let's look at a passage here where some of Jesus' disciples tried to promote themselves and their interests above the interests of others

 

    -- look down with me now at verse 20

 

20. Then the mother of Zebedee's sons came to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling down, asked a favor of him.

 

    -- Jesus had just announced to His disciples that they were going to Jerusalem to fulfill the purpose of His coming -- He was to offer Himself as a sacrifice for others and then would be raised from the dead on the third day into glory

    -- missing the whole point of what Jesus had said -- missing the whole point of what Jesus was going to do -- namely, that He was demonstrating obedience and sacrifice and duty above self -- the mother of James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to Jesus and knelt down and worshiped Him -- but notice that her worship came at a price -- she worshiped Jesus because she wanted something from Him

    -- how many times do we do that? -- how many times do we come and worship Jesus, not because of who He is -- not because of what He has done for us -- but because we want Him to do something else? -- how many times do we put "self" on the throne of worship while giving lip-service to Jesus?

 

    -- verse 21

 

21. "What is it you want?" he asked. She said, "Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom."

 

-- Jesus saw right through her motives -- "What is it you want?" He asked -- how discouraging it must have been for Him to have to ask that question -- here He was, about to give all -- about to offer up His body and His blood on the cross -- about to endure the shame of the cross and to become sin and bear that sin on the cross of punishment for others -- and here Zebedee's wife has come seeking to promote her sons

    -- "put one of my sons on your right and one on your left when you come into your kingdom" -- in other words, "exalt my sons -- make them the greatest in your kingdom outside of you -- let them be greater than all the rest"

    -- now, don't forget -- Zebedee's wife wasn't doing this on her own -- James and John were right there with her -- this was a plan -- this was something that the three of them worked out together and brought to Jesus so that they would be exalted -- so that they would be the greatest in the Kingdom

    -- do you see what they're doing here? -- for three years, James and John had lived in a close group with the other disciples and Jesus -- they had been taught how to love -- they had seen Jesus give of Himself time and time again on behalf of others -- but here, as their journey is nearing its end -- as they're going up to Jerusalem for the last time -- selfishness takes over -- and they come to Jesus and ask Him to promote them above all the rest

 

    -- verse 22

 

22. "You don't know what you are asking," Jesus said to them. "Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?" "We can," they answered.

23. Jesus said to them, "You will indeed drink from my cup, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my Father."

 

-- Jesus says, "You don't know what you're asking" -- how can you have missed the point? -- how can you have missed the heart of my teaching? -- it's not about exalting yourself -- it's not about promoting yourself -- this is not how you become great in the Kingdom

 

    -- verse 24

 

24. When the ten heard about this, they were indignant with the two brothers.

 

-- when the other disciples heard what James and John had done, Matthew says that they were "indignant" -- they were upset -- they were not happy -- why?

    -- well, for one thing, because none of them had thought of it -- think about what we know of Peter and the others -- don't you think they would have asked Jesus to be promoted if they had thought of it first?

    -- secondly, they were upset with James and John's request because every one of them -- in their hearts -- believed that they were more capable -- more deserving -- than James and John

    -- even after three years of being with Jesus, the disciples were still a selfish lot -- putting self above others

    -- verse 25

 

25. Jesus called them together and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them.

26. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant,

27. and whoever wants to be first must be your slave--

28. just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

 

-- so, Jesus called the 12 over to Him and explained to them, once again, what it meant to be great in the Kingdom -- "whoever wants to be great, must be a servant -- they must be a slave to the others" -- in other words, those who are great are those who deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me in the path of sacrifice and slavery and servanthood

    -- if you want to be great, don't try to exalt yourself -- if you want to be great, put others' needs and wants and desires above your own -- if you want to be great, don't focus on yourself -- focus instead on serving those around you and promoting their interests above your own

 

    -- right now, our country is in the midst of one of the worst economic crises that we have ever faced -- and if you get down to the heart of it, you'll quickly see that it was caused by nothing more than selfishness -- by greed -- by people wanting to get rich and to meet their own needs and wants and desires at the expense of others

    -- and our Government's response has been similar -- rather than going to Washington to serve the people -- rather than going to Washington to put sacrifice and duty above self -- we have politicians who are exalting themselves and promoting their own self-interests and pork-barrel projects at the expense of those around them

    -- can you imagine what our country would be like if we turned from an "I" and a "Me" generation to a "You" generation? -- can you imagine what a difference it would make if we would just follow Jesus' words here in this passage? -- if we would just follow His example? -- if we would just let ourselves decrease in importance in our eyes and live to serve others -- in all of our relationships -- in all of our business dealings?

    -- can you imagine what our churches could do if we truly lived out Christ's call to deny ourselves and follow Him down this path?

    -- our relationships and our whole lives have been poisoned by the seed of selfishness -- it goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve ate of the forbidden fruit because they selfishly desired to be greater than they should have been -- and ever since then, selfishness has been like a disease running rampant through our bodies and minds

    -- the question before us then -- as we seek to move into deeper and truer loving relationships with others -- is how do we fight this disease of selfishness -- what are the antidotes to selfishness in our lives?

 

III. Antidotes to Selfishness

    1. The first antidote to selfishness is to build strong relationships with other people -- love gets the focus off you and on someone else -- remember the phase of love that we call being "in love" -- that's the phase of love when our entire focus is on the other person -- instead of our wants -- our needs -- our desires -- the focus is on them and what we can do for them

    -- this needs to be the standard model for all our relationships -- we need to build relationships so our focus is on others -- best place to do that is in the church, among people who are also trying to live out Christ's commands to put others above self

    -- it's all about focusing on others -- did you know that the Bible uses the term "one another" 58 times? -- "love one another" -- "serve one another" -- "wash the feet of one another" -- time and time again, we are told to put others above us -- and you do this, not in Sunday worship, but through living out Christ's call in all your relationships

 

    2. The second antidote to selfishness is to give yourself away -- as Jesus told His disciples, you do this through ministry -- by becoming the servant and slaves of others -- the Greek word that we translate as "minister" in the Bible literally means "service"

    -- service to others helps you quit thinking about yourself and start thinking about those around you -- Jesus is calling us to the place where we give ourselves away for the benefit of others -- you never find fulfillment in living for yourself -- you only find fulfillment in giving your life away

    -- Ephesians 2:10 says that we were created in Christ Jesus to do good works -- we were created to serve others -- to give ourselves away and to spend our lives in helping others

 

    3. The third antidote to selfishness is to practice self-denial -- this runs counter to all the culture is telling us -- the world tells us it's all about us -- we should promote ourselves -- improve ourselves -- help ourselves -- focus on ourselves

    -- Jesus says we should deny ourselves and take up our cross and follow Him -- we have talked many times about agape love in here -- that unconditional love that flows from the Father to us and from us to others -- agape love says that we put others above us -- we deny ourselves -- we make our wants and needs and desires less important so that we can show love to others unconditionally -- what is important, Jesus says, is not me or I but you -- it's the person next to us that we are called to love -- not ourselves

    -- that's why the Bible teaches that true love is unselfish -- that is what the Bible tells us when it says, "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son" -- God put aside His wants and desires and wishes -- He who knew no sin became sin for us and died on the cross in our place -- He denied Himself so that we might experience His agape love in our lives

 

IV. Closing

    -- I heard a story one day about this little boy and his sister who were riding a rocking horse together -- finally, the boy said, "If one of us would get off this rocking horse, there would be more room for me"

    -- that, my friends, is the definition of selfishness -- that is the way of the world -- that is the current focus of our "Me" generation with all its ills and vices

    -- as I close this morning, let me encourage you to choose a different way -- a better way -- instead of saying, like the little boy, "If one of us would get off this rocking horse, there would be more room for me" -- let's make a conscious effort this week to say, "Let me deny myself -- let me get off, so there'll be more room for you"

    -- love is not selfish -- love is not self-seeking -- love always promotes others above self -- that is the message of the Bible -- and that is the message of Jesus for us today

 

    -- let us pray

SERMON: 40 Days of Love: The Real “F” Word -- Forgiveness

40 DAYS OF LOVE SERMON SERIES:

THE REAL "F" WORD -- "FORGIVENESS"

8 March 2009

 

 

I. Introduction

    -- turn in Bibles to 1 Corinthians 13

 

4. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

5. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

6. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

7. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8. Love never fails.

 

    -- this morning, we are continuing in our series on the 40 Days of Love based on this passage from 1 Corinthians 13 -- so far, we have talked about love being what matters most in life -- about love being demonstrated through patience and kindness -- and about speaking the truth in love to speak life into someone's walk with Jesus

    -- this morning, we are going to focus on verse 5 in this passage -- "Love is not rude -- it is not self-seeking -- it is not easily angered -- it keeps no record of wrongs"

    -- I've borrowed the title of my message -- The Real "F" Word -- from a similar sermon by Rev. Ed Young from Dallas, TX -- although it's not a dirty word -- it's not a cuss word -- sometimes in the church and in our lives, we treat the word "forgiveness" as something that should not be said -- as something that should not be spoken or talked about

    -- but as we move deeper and deeper into the love relationship that Jesus calls us to, we run face to face with this word and we are forced to deal with others in our lives who have wronged us in some way or the other -- the ultimate test of love is how we respond in these situations -- the ultimate test of love is how we respond when somebody hurts us

    -- the Bible tells us that the only way we should respond -- the only way we can respond -- the only way we can grow in grace and continue down the path to spiritual maturity and deeper love with Christ -- is through forgiving others in our hearts for what they have done to us

 

II. What is forgiveness and why should we forgive?

    -- so, this morning, as we continue in our series on the 40 Days of Love, my goal is to encourage you to examine your relationships with others and to challenge you to forgive those who have wronged you and have hurt you in the past

    -- before we can do that -- before we can come to the point where we can forgive someone who has hurt us and wronged us -- we are going to need a better understanding of what forgiveness is -- why we should forgive -- and how we can begin the process of forgiving them

 

    -- so, what is forgiveness and why should we forgive? -- I think that a lot of us have a misconception about what forgiveness is and this misconception keeps us from forgiving others in our lives

    -- typically, when we think of forgiveness, we think of restoration -- we think that forgiveness means telling a person that all is forgotten -- that everything is o.k. -- and then welcoming that person back into our lives -- restoring the relationship that once existed

    -- several years ago at a Promise Keeper's Event, Gary Rosenberg told the story of a couple that came to him for counseling -- the couple had been happily married for years and had two little children -- one day, the father went into the baby's room to get diapers from the closet, and discovered a stack of love letters written to his wife -- the only problem was that he did not write these love letters -- he went downstairs and found his wife and said two words to her, "I know." -- immediately, she turned white as a ghost and said how sorry she was -- that it was a mistake and that it wouldn't happen again and begged her husband to forgive her and not to leave her

    -- now, in our typical view of what forgiveness is, the husband, being a good Christian man -- would turn to her and say, "I forgive you" and would just forget about her adultery and they would act like nothing ever happened -- they'd just go about their days living happily ever after

 

    -- but in reality, we know that this is not what happens -- the husband in this case was deeply wounded by his wife -- she had sinned against him -- she had violated his trust -- there was a deep hurt in his heart that needed to be repaired -- and there was no way that he could simply forget what had happened and go on with life as it was

    -- that is not what forgiveness is -- this morning, when we prayed the Lord's Prayer, we prayed for God to forgive us for our trespasses as we forgave others -- that doesn't mean that when we are wronged, we just call up the other person and say "You're forgiven" and forget about the hurt and go on with our life as if nothing happened

    -- forgiveness, first and foremost, is not about restoring a relationship -- restoration and reunion may eventually come through forgiveness -- but that is not the primary purpose of forgiveness

 

    -- I want you to listen to this -- I want you to understand this -- the primary purpose of forgiving -- the reason God calls us to forgive others -- is for us -- the primary purpose of forgiveness is to heal the hurts and the scars in our heart that were caused when someone that we trusted trespassed against us and sinned against us and wronged us

    -- forgiveness is about healing the hurts within us -- forgiveness always begins on the inside

    -- true forgiveness is one-sided -- it doesn't even involve the other person -- true forgiveness occurs when you make the choice to heal the hurt that is within you -- when you decide to let go of the hurt and the anger and the bitterness inside and let God heal you from the inside out

    -- you can forgive someone and never, ever restore your relationship with them or even let them know that you have forgiven them -- forgiveness is simply a matter of the heart

 

    -- along those same lines, forgiveness is not minimizing the seriousness of the offense     -- it's not sweeping wrongs under the rug -- it's not just forgetting what has happened -- when there's a need for forgiveness, it's because we have been wronged -- we have been hurt -- our trust has been broken -- forgiveness is God's way of healing that hurt within us

    -- it is not something that we do for others -- it is something that we do for ourselves -- forgiveness is something that happens within us -- within our hearts -- and it doesn't have to involve anyone else

    -- forgiveness is about getting rid of the bitterness and hatred and anger that is eating away at our souls -- it is about healing our own hearts and letting go of the hurts within us so that we might grow in Christ's love -- forgiveness, at its core, is about us and our relationship with God and doesn't depend on what the other person does or doesn't do

 

    -- let me show you an example -- if you would, turn with me over to Genesis 37 and let's look real quick at the story of Joseph

 

1. Jacob lived in the land where his father had stayed, the land of Canaan.

2. This is the account of Jacob. Joseph, a young man of seventeen, was tending the flocks with his brothers, the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives, and he brought their father a bad report about them.

3. Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made a richly ornamented robe for him.

4. When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him.

5. Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more.

 

    -- Joseph's brothers hated him -- they hated him with a passion -- they didn't like the fact that their father loved him more than them -- and they certainly didn't like the fact that he had apparently been blessed by God and had been placed over them -- and, to top it all off, they certainly didn't like the fact that Joseph was a tattle-tale and had told his father that they weren't doing their job when they were supposed to be tending the flocks

    -- Joseph's brothers hated him and didn't want anything to do with him -- and things only got worse from that point -- we read here that one day after Joseph had tattled on his brothers, Jacob sent him to check up on them while they were with the family's flocks near Dothan

    -- look down at verse 18

 

18. But they saw him in the distance, and before he reached them, they plotted to kill him.

19. "Here comes that dreamer!" they said to each other.

20. "Come now, let's kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we'll see what comes of his dreams."

    -- sibling rivalry is one thing -- but Joseph's brother hated him so much that they wanted to kill him -- when they saw him come walking up wearing his coat of many colors, they just got all angry again and decided to kill him and throw him in a cistern and to claim that wild animals had eaten him -- luckily for Joseph, Reuben managed to keep the others from killing him and they just threw him into a cistern alive, but that was just the beginning of the problems for Joseph

    -- verse 26

 

26. Judah said to his brothers, "What will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood?

27. Come, let's sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him; after all, he is our brother, our own flesh and blood." His brothers agreed.

28. So when the Midianite merchants came by, his brothers pulled Joseph up out of the cistern and sold him for twenty shekels of silver to the Ishmaelites, who took him to Egypt.

 

-- after Reuben left, the brothers talked about what to do with Joseph -- rather than killing him, they decided to sell him as a slave to the Ishmaelites, who eventually carried him into Egypt

    -- so here's Joseph, the favorite son of his father -- blessed by God -- called to be the leader of his family -- and now he's sold into slavery and carried into Egypt, where the Ishmaelites sell him to Potiphar, one of Pharoah's captains

    -- real quick, I'm going to sum up Joseph's life from this point -- I'm going to cover about 7 chapters in the Bible, so hang on

    -- things were going as good as they could for Joseph at Potiphar's house, until he had a run in with Potiphar's wife, who tried to seduce him -- he ended up being falsely accused of sexual assault and thrown into prison

    -- in prison, Joseph did the best he could -- with God's help, he interpreted the dreams of a couple of his fellow prisoners, Pharoah's baker and the cupbearer -- when he discovered that the cupbearer would be restored to his former position, Joseph asked the cupbearer to remember him and plead his case before Pharoah, but the cupbearer forget for two whole years

    -- so, there's Joseph, sold as a slave in Egypt -- falsely accused and thrown into prison -- all because of his brothers and their hatred of him -- Joseph really hadn't done anything to them, but they had intentionally caused him nothing but hurt in his life -- they had wronged him -- they had broken trust with him -- and while they were still living in the land of Canaan, Joseph was living in prison

    -- if there's anyone you would expect to be bitter, it would be Joseph -- if there's anyone you would expect to see have difficulty forgiving, it would be Joseph -- he could have laid there in that prison and let the wrongs that had been done against him eat at his heart -- he could have let the anger and the bitterness and the wrongness of it all continue to grow, until it turned his heart into something that was as dark and twisted as his brother's hearts

    -- but Joseph didn't do that -- he refused to stoop to their level -- even though his brothers didn't come to him and beg forgiveness for what they had done, at some point, he still forgave them -- even though his brothers weren't there with him, he forgave them from his heart -- and God rewarded his demonstration of love and forgiveness

    -- flip over to Genesis 45

 

1. Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, "Have everyone leave my presence!" So there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers.

2. And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him, and Pharaoh's household heard about it.

3. Joseph said to his brothers, "I am Joseph! Is my father still living?" But his brothers were not able to answer him, because they were terrified at his presence.

4. Then Joseph said to his brothers, "Come close to me." When they had done so, he said, "I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt!

5. And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you.

 

    -- eventually, Joseph was taken out of prison and given a position at the right hand of Pharoah -- eventually, he reconciled with his brothers -- but he was only able to do so because he had already forgiven them in his heart -- Joseph had no way of knowing his brothers would come from Canaan to Egypt seeking food -- but because Joseph walked with God, he knew that unforgiveness would have been like a cancer -- eating away at his soul, damaging his relationship with God, and placing him in bondage to his brothers forever -- for those reasons, Joseph had sought healing years before by forgiving his brothers for what they had done to him

 

III. How do we forgive?

    -- so, how do we forgive? -- how do we follow Joseph's footsteps and forgive those who have wronged us

 

    -- in his book, "The Art of Forgiving," Lewis Smedes outlines three steps to forgiveness that we follow when we truly seek healing in our life

    -- first, we begin the process of forgiving when we start separating the person who wronged us from the wrong that they did to us -- when someone wrongs us, in our minds, they become the wrong that they did to us -- we say things like, "he is nothing but a cheat -- he is nothing but a liar" -- we look at them and all we see is the sin

    -- but, as Smedes points out, when we begin the miracle of healing, we begin to see our enemy through a cleaner lens, less smudged by hate -- we begin to see them as a person who did something wrong -- not as wrong itself

    -- when God forgave us, the first thing He did was to separate us from our sin -- we were not the problem -- it was the sin that was the problem and that needed to be dealt with -- so God provided a way to cover our sins -- so, when God sees us, He doesn't see the sin any longer -- He sees the person underneath the sin, cleansed through the blood of Christ

    -- the first step to forgiveness, then, is continuing to hate the sin but not the person who committed the sin against you

 

    -- the second step to forgiveness is to surrender our right to get even -- when we are first wronged -- when we are first hurt -- we want to get even -- we want the other person to suffer like we have suffered and to know that they are suffering because of what they did to us -- we call this "vengeance"

    -- when you start on the road to forgiveness, you are releasing your right to vengeance -- to hurting the other person unjustly -- keep in mind, though, that there is a difference between vengeance and justice -- vengeance is our pleasure of seeing someone who hurt us get hurt back -- justice is making sure that someone pays a fair penalty for wronging another -- vengeance is personal satisfaction -- justice is moral accountability

    -- forgiveness does not do away with justice -- someone who wronged you may have to pay for the wrong that they have done -- but, forgiveness does mean that you don't desire them to be hurt in an unjust way simply as revenge for what they did to you

 

    -- the final step to forgiveness is when you revise your feelings towards the person that wronged you -- you no longer hate them for who they are and you even can hope that God's grace might fall into their lives -- this does not excuse the wrong that they have done -- it does not mean that we are going to tolerate them trespassing against us again and it does not mean that we are going to restore our relationship with them

    -- but it means that you no longer have a desire for them to suffer because of what they have done to you -- and it means that if God was to reach out and touch them and change their lives for the better, that you would be happy to see that happen

    -- when you have reached this stage of forgiveness, you can know for sure that the hatred and the bitterness are now removed from your life and that your heart has been healed and restored by the miraculous power of forgiveness

 

IV. Closing

    -- forgiveness is a gift from God -- through Christ, God forgave us for the sins that we committed -- He refused to pour out His vengeance and wrath on us but offered His very Son as a sacrifice to ensure that justice was done -- and, once justice was served, God poured out His blessings on us -- on the very people that once had trespassed against Him

    -- in the same way, God calls for us to forgive others that have trespassed against us -- He knows that our hearts have been hurt and damaged by others -- and He knows that these wounded hearts can keep us from loving Him and loving others as He wants

    -- so, He encourages us to offer forgiveness to others in our hearts -- so that in the process of forgiveness we might find healing from the hatred and bitterness and resentment that we have built up in our lives

 

    -- when I went to my first Kairos -- the prison ministry similar to the Walk to Emmaus -- I saw the power of forgiveness in the life of another person -- those men in that place had deeply wounded hearts -- they were not only held in physical bars in that place, but they were bound up with spiritual bars of hatred and resentment and unforgiveness to others in their lives

    -- a lot of them were in prison because of the hurts that others had inflicted upon them -- their wives -- their fathers -- their mothers -- friends -- others they knew

    -- as part of the weekend, we led them through the process of forgiveness and helped them to release the hurts in their hearts through the power of Christ

    -- and I watched as those men wept with joy for the first time in their lives -- as they forgave those who hurt them and as they were freed to allow the blessing and salvation of God into their hearts -- relationships may not have been restored that weekend, but lives were changed through the healing power of forgiveness

    -- there is power in forgiveness -- and that is why Jesus commands us to pray daily, "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us"

 

    -- so how do we put this into practice -- this week, I want you to spend some time in prayer asking the question, "Who do I need to forgive?" -- and when you've been given an answer by God, then I want you to pray for that person and I want you to consider offering them forgiveness from your heart

    -- this doesn't mean you'll call them up or even reach out to them -- you may never talk to that person again -- beginning the process of forgiveness means that there, in the quiet of your heart and in the presence of God, you'll choose to let go of the hurt so that your heart might be healed -- so that your love for God and for others might grow

    -- in your handout, I've given you a prayer that you can use as you begin this process

 

    -- so, as I close, I want to invite you to search your hearts and begin the process of forgiving those who have wronged you in the past -- not for their sake -- but for the healing that God offers you and so that you can continue to walk the path of love with Christ

    -- let us pray

 

SERMON: 40 Days of Love: Speaking the Truth in Love

40 DAYS OF LOVE SERMON SERIES:

SPEAKING THE TRUTH IN LOVE

22 February 2009

 

I. Introduction

    -- turn in Bibles to 1 Corinthians 13

 

4. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

5. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

6. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

7. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8. Love never fails.

 

-- the key verse for this morning is verse 6 -- "Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth"

 

    -- several weeks ago, someone came and asked me a question on behalf of a friend of theirs -- their friend's mother-in-law is divorced and for the past several years has been having an affair with a married man -- this married man would even spend days and nights at her house

    -- the friend was concerned over the message that this was sending to their children -- given the fact that they were trying to raise their children to love the Lord and were trying to teach them to obey God in all that they do -- but it was hard to do that because they could literally look across the street and see their grandmother living in sin with a married man

    -- so, their friend went to his mother-in-law and told her that what she was doing was wrong -- he showed her in the Bible where it said that men and women should not be together like that unless they were married -- he showed her where her lifestyle was wrong in the sight of God and he told her that, unless she repented of her sin and quit what she was doing, he was not going to allow his children to come over and visit with her

    -- now he was very upset because he felt like he had judged her and had committed a sin because of what he had said to her

    -- I didn't get the opportunity to talk to him directly, but I passed on the word that what he had done was in perfect accordance with the word of God and with the law of love -- as it says in our key verse this morning, "Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth" and as it says in Ephesians 4:15, we are to speak the truth in love to our neighbors who are living in falsehood and evil

 

    -- we are continuing in our series on the 40 Days of Love -- and this morning we are going to address one of the most controversial and most avoided topics in the church today -- and that is speaking the truth in love through confrontation

    -- confronting loved ones about their sins or their actions is actually the first step in church discipline -- a practice that is sorely needed in the church today and that few churches or individuals are willing to practice for fear of hurting someone's feelings

    -- so, to start our study on this topic, if you would, please turn with me to Matthew 18 and let's see what the Bible has to say about church discipline

 

II. Church Discipline

    -- look if you would at verse 15

 

15. "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.

16. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that `every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'

17. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

 

    -- now I want you to note who is speaking and the context of these words -- first, note that this is Jesus who is speaking -- who is passing on this direction and truth to His disciples -- this isn't Paul -- this isn't Peter -- this is Christ Himself who is commanding us to enact the process of discipline and correction on those who have sinned against us or who are living lifestyles that aren't compatible with God's word

    -- next, note the context -- these words are given within an evangelistic message from Jesus -- in other words, Jesus is telling His disciples here that God loves them so much that He wants them to live holy lives and to enter into His kingdom in faith

    -- He warns them that if they have sin in their lives, they are to cast it out -- to put off the sinful actions and to take up the holiness that comes from following God -- and then He reminds them of those around them -- He says that the Father loves the lost sinner so much, that He will leave the 99 sheep and go to find the one who wandered off

    -- Jesus says here in verse 14, "The Father is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost" -- and then immediately gives His disciples the steps of church discipline and tells them how to approach those that they love who have wronged them in some way

    -- this is important to remember, because it frames church discipline in an important way -- the reason why we are called to confront our loved ones about their sins and their actions -- the reason why we are called to discipline our church members who have strayed is to help them find their way back into complete fellowship with God and with the church again -- to help reconcile them to God and the church again through repentance and restoration

    -- notice the first step in church discipline there in verse 15

 

15. "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.

-- this first step is what we are going to be discussing this morning -- it is the art of confronting our loved ones about their sin and their actions by speaking the truth in love to them and showing them the error of their ways -- this is a private action -- just between the two of you -- it is the first step on the road to reconciliation -- and, hopefully, it will be enough to lead them back into fellowship with you and with God

    -- this is exactly what the person I was talking about in my opening illustration did with his mother-in-law -- although he was upset at having to do it, he was following Christ's commands -- he was called to confront her because of her obvious sin and to speak the truth in love to her in hopes of reconciling her to him and to the church -- now, if she fails to respond to his confrontation, then he is to continue on in the process of discipline, which would involve bringing in one or two other witnesses and eventually bringing it before the church

 

III.
What is Confrontation?

    -- so, what is confrontation -- what is the reason for it? -- well, we've already addressed this to some extent, but let's take it a little deeper

    -- Confrontation is loving someone enough to help them change their life for the better -- it is coming to someone that you love and helping them to recognize their shortcomings and the possible consequences of their actions so that they will turn from their sin and change for the better

    -- confrontation is having to say tough things to someone else that they don't want to hear but that they need to hear -- and that you, in love, need to share to help them be reconciled to you and to God -- keeping the peace doesn't mean hiding the truth -- it doesn't mean ignoring the truth -- it means addressing problems in a Godly manner to accomplish Godly purposes

 

    -- looking back at my life, it's easy to see the areas where God has gifted me -- one area that I have been gifted in is in education -- I always did well in school -- I was always at the top of my class -- I was always the quickest to pick up new facts and to excel in subjects in school and to be recognized for my academic achievements through awards and other recognitions

    -- it's a wonderful blessing from God to be gifted in this way -- but, it can very easily lead you down a wrong path -- if you're not careful, you can easily become prideful and arrogant about this -- and that's exactly what I did without realizing it -- I started to take credit for my academic success, rather than to give the glory to God -- and I began to look down on others who did not succeed like I was succeeding -- I was coming across as very prideful and arrogant to others -- as someone who was better than others and above them in all ways

    -- one day, a friend came to me in love and confronted me on this issue -- he pointed out that I was sinning in this area and that my pride and arrogance was hurting those around me -- and it took his loving confrontation -- speaking words that I didn't want to hear but that I needed to hear -- to steer me back to the path of humility and to the place where I recognized and gave God the glory for all the gifts He had given me

    -- this is an area that I still continue to struggle in -- it's tough to maintain -- it's not like you can one day wake up and say, "I'm going to be humble today" -- but when I start to get a little prideful -- when I start to get full of myself -- God reminds me of the words of my friend and brings me back through repentance

    -- this is a great example of what confrontation in the church should look like

 

    -- basically, there are two primary reasons for you to confront someone else -- first, if you have been wronged by someone else and it is affecting your relationship -- and, second, if someone you love is doing something that is damaging their relationship with God or others

    -- now, keep in mind that sometimes confrontation is not the right thing to do at that moment -- sometimes the right path is simply to offer forgiveness without confrontation -- you would choose to do that if confrontation might make the matter worse or if confrontation might lead to increased damage to relationships -- confrontation in these cases would not be healthy

    -- the goal of confrontation is to heal relationships -- relationships between you and the other person and their relationship with God -- there are cases where the sin against you is so deep that you don't want to restore your relationship with the other person -- where it wouldn't be a good idea to restore your relationship with them -- in that case, you wouldn't confront them but would simply forgive them in your heart as a means of spiritual healing

 

IV. How Do We Confront?

    -- so, how do we confront someone else? -- how do we go about speaking the truth in love? -- I'm running out of time, so let me give you the steps of confrontation real quick

 

    -- Before you confront anyone in love:

    1. Check your motives.

    -- why are you doing this? -- why do you think that you need to confront this other person? -- there are right motives and there are wrong motives -- the right motive is to seek to help the other person and not to hurt them -- to seek to restore relationships with each other or with God

    -- wrong motives would include things like jealousy -- anger -- envy -- some people want to point fingers at someone else and show them how wrong they are living in order to make themselves feel spiritually superior -- these are all wrong motives

    -- so, the first thing you have to do is check your motives and make sure it is something that God is clearly calling you to do

 

    2. Plan your presentation

    -- confrontation should not be spontaneous -- engage your mind before you put your tongue in gear -- you need to spend some time planning what you're going to say, how you're going to say it, and when you're going to say it

    -- remember that the ultimate goal of confrontation is transformed lives and relationships -- when you confront someone, make sure you clearly identify what they're doing that's wrong and the implications of their behavior -- what is their behavior doing to them and to those around them? -- and think about how you can say this to them in love

 

    3. Make sure you give them affirmation -- that you affirm that you love them and that the reason you are doing this is because you care about them and what they're doing to themselves

    -- the truth is likely to hurt -- so we must couch it in affirmations -- put the affirmation on each side of the confrontation -- it's like eating a sandwich where you have bread and bread and meat in between

    -- Start with affirmation -- "you are a blessing to me because...." -- "I love you and deeply care for you" -- "You mean a lot to me"

    -- and then say, "for that reason, there's something I need to tell you" -- that's when you dive in and confront them on their behavior, remembering to speak the truth in love

    -- and then you end with affirmation -- "I'm doing this because I want to help you with this issue" -- "I believe you can change" -- "I'll pray for you and help you"

 

    -- Affirm that:

        -- you deeply love and care for the person

        -- you will pray for them and help them

        -- You believe they can change

        -- The relationship can be better and that you can be even closer as a result of this confrontation

 

    4. Risk their rejection -- when you lay it all out on the line and confront someone over something they have done to you or something they are doing that is not right, they are liable to get angry and to get defensive -- they're liable to reject you and what you are saying -- but, if you truly love them, then you have to risk their rejection in order to bring them back home to God again and to restore the relationships in their lives

 

V. Closing

    -- remember the overall goal of confrontation is transformation -- transformation of the relationship into a deeper, more meaning relationship -- transformation of the person into a more Godly disciple of Christ

    -- a good way to remember the steps of confronting is through this formula -- Truth + Tact + Timing = Transformation -- Truth + Tact + Timing = Transformed lives and transformed relationships

 

    -- Confrontation has its place in the church -- discipline has its place in the church -- and both of them probably need to be done more than we are currently doing it -- but they need to be done correctly

    -- confrontation should only be done in love -- confrontation should only be considered if you have the right motives -- if your motives are pure -- confrontation should not be something that you just jump into -- it needs to be planned -- it needs to be bathed in prayer -- it needs to be something that God leads you to do -- and it needs to be surrounded with affirmation

 

    -- let me close by leaving you with one more example of how loving confrontation should look in the church -- in Christianity Today, there was the story about this small group of women who would get together once a week for Bible study -- well, one lady in the group, Connie, loved to talk -- she'd carry on each session about her love life -- about how things were going with her boyfriend -- just on and on about her relationship with him -- taking up at least 30 minutes of their hour-and-a-half meeting time

    -- at first, the group listened and supported her -- but after a while, it became too much -- she was dominating the group's time and not letting anyone else share what was going on with them -- it began to affect the overall unity in the group and affected Connie's relationship with everyone there     -- in fact, two people quit the group because they were tired of Connie's constant personal conversations

    -- so, Lydia, the leader of the group, knew she needed to confront Connie about her behavior -- she set up a meeting with Connie and asked her, "Do you realize that you absorb a lot of our small group time with your problems and that other people often don't have the opportunity to share?" -- Connie's blank face told Lydia she was oblivious.

    -- Lydia continued by saying, "Our group loves you, Connie. We want you there because you offer valuable insights and you are an encouragement. But sometimes you've got to let go of the spotlight."

    -- Two hours and many tears later, Connie agreed that she'd make a conscious effort to change -- when she rejoined her small group, at first she felt ashamed and barely uttered a word -- week by week, she learned how to be a better listener and how to be more constructive when she shared her struggles. [Source: "Dominated by One" by Life Together]

 

    -- this week, our "Putting It Into Practice" is a little more difficult -- as we've been doing all along, I want you to go ahead and select one person that you care about -- one person who has either wronged you or who is not following God's path

    -- and then I want you to affirm that person on paper -- I want you to make a list of all the positive qualities of that person -- and then I want you to pray about them and what they are doing and ask God if He wants you to confront them at this time or not

    -- now, it may very well be that it is not the right time to confront them -- if that's the case, then what you need to do this week is just start praying for this person in a very specific way -- make sure your motives are correct and just pray for them and wait for God's leading before you make the decision to confront them on any action

 

    -- sometimes, loving confrontation is the only route to renewal and growth -- it is the only path that you can take to reconcile a relationship -- to help lead a person back to a more Godly lifestyle and to steer them back into a right relationship with both you and with God

 

    -- so, as we close, I want to encourage you to not enter this path lightly but to approach any confrontations you are thinking of with prayer and planning -- remembering to always speak the truth in love

 

    -- let us pray

SERMON: 40 Days of Love: Love is Patient, Love is Kind

40 DAYS OF LOVE SERMON SERIES:

LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND

Preached at Naylor UMC 15 February 2009

 

I. Introduction

    -- turn in Bibles to 1 Corinthians 13:4. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."

 

    -- David Langerfeld, the pastor of Harrisburg Baptist Church, writes about his wife every Valentine's Day to thousands of e-mail subscribers around the country -- he talks about her beauty -- how her family had come to America from Sweden and how she had the classic Scandinavian appearance with blond hair, blue eyes, long slender legs, and soft, blemish-free skin -- but her real beauty, he writes, is internal -- becoming a Christian at an early age, she is characterized by the beauty that comes from integrity and honesty and kindness

    -- David and his wife met in college, and it was love at first site -- they were married one week after they graduated, and would spend every waking moment together, doing all those things young married couples do -- going on bike rides -- travelling -- going to movies -- watching TV -- eating out

    -- his wife taught school for a year and then became a bookkeeper for a surgical supply company -- one day, while she was working, for no apparent reason, she lost her balance and fell on the floor --  She was later able to get up and went to see a doctor that night -- He referred her to a neurologist.
    -- The next day, it happened again -- For no apparent reason, she lost her balance and fell -- this time, though, she couldn't get up -- she had lost all feeling in her legs -- they wouldn't move -- David came to the office, picked her up in his arms, and carried her to the hospital -- after six days in the hospital, the doctor gave this beautiful, active young lady the dreadful news --  She had Multiple Sclerosis and she would continue to deteriorate.
    -- all of their future plans and dreams changed in a moment with that diagnosis -- David and his wife had only been married for 18 months -- and now he was faced with a new and overwhelming challenge -- caring for a wife whose physical health would continue to deteriorate and who could not be the healthy vibrant woman that he had married

    -- many men in this situation would have left -- in fact, in a large percentage of the marriages where a spouse has MS, the other spouse leaves them -- the other spouse won't stay committed to the constant care and the continual physical, psychological and mental changes that continue to occur

    -- but David was not like other men -- over the next 30 years, David stayed with his wife and loved her as her condition worsened -- when her bones became brittle, breaking easily, David was there to help her get around -- when she went from a walker to an electric scooter to a wheelchair, David stood by her side -- when she could no longer feed herself, write her name, or control her own bodily functions, David continued to love her with patience and kindness -- even now, when someone has to stay with her 24 hours a day, David has never left her side
    -- 1 Corinthians 13 -- the Love Chapter -- describes for us what love looks like as it shows us dynamic, powerful expressions of love from the heart of God Himself -- the descriptions of love in this chapter tell us how God loves us and show us how we are to love each other

    -- in our key verse for today, Paul writes that "Love is patient, love is kind" -- those two aspects -- those two characteristics of love go together hand in hand -- patience is about attitude -- kindness is about action -- and together, these two combine to produce loving acts that mirror the Savior's heart

    -- David Langerfeld could only express his love for his wife in these two ways -- it was the attitude of patience that enabled him to stand by his wife during her deteriorating condition -- and it was kindness -- love in action -- that demonstrated his love to her during the most trying of times

    -- this morning, as we continue in our 40 Days of Love sermon series, we are going to look at this tandem idea of love being patient and love being kind

 

II. Patience

    -- let's begin with this idea of patience -- as I said, patience is about your attitude -- your perspective -- the way you think and feel about someone or something

    -- and this is important -- because if you don't look at someone or something with eyes of love -- seeing the positive in the midst of the negative circumstances and events that surround you -- there is no way you will be able to display patience -- endurance -- perseverance -- as you interact with that person or thing

    -- so what is the secret to patience -- how can you have patience and have a right attitude with those people who cause problems and irritations in your life?

    -- you cooperate with God as He seeks to develop you into a patient and loving person

 

    -- God's part is to provide the circumstances    -- the Bible teaches that God allows troubles and trials and circumstances to come into our lives to teach us how to be more patient -- to teach us how to rely on Him -- to teach us how to love like Him

    -- love must be tested in order for it to be real -- if David's wife had never developed MS, neither of them would have known or experienced the depth of love that came from that trial in their lives -- through that circumstance, God turned David into a person who was loving and patient and kind -- not only with his wife, but with all the people that he met

    -- remember that God's word tells us that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him -- for those who are called according to His purpose -- this tells us that no matter what circumstances God allows in our lives -- no matter how challenging the trial or the storm that we are facing, God is using it to bring about good in our lives -- molding and making us more like Him through this process

    

    -- our part in learning the secret to patience is to provide the response -- to have an attitude that approaches trials and storms with faith and trust and the knowledge that God is working through us to make us better people

    -- there are three things that we can do that will help us respond to every circumstance with patience

    1. Discover a bigger perspective -- look at it from a larger point of view -- wisdom is seeing things through God's eyes -- leads you to not being bothered by minor irritations --Proverbs 19:11 says that "a man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."

    2. Deepen your love -- love is a patience-builder -- When you're filled with love, almost nothing will irritate you. But when you're filled with anger; almost anything will irritate you

        -- John Eldredge once wrote about how everyone these days seems to be filled with anger -- the slightest irritation sets them off -- he said he was driving in traffic and a man cut him off -- he blew the horn and the other guy got angry and started yelling at him -- both of them were so angry at this minor irritation that they were ready to kill each other

        -- impatience says more about you than it does the other person -- we must learn to love like Jesus loved

    3. Depend on Jesus' power -- this is the only way to love like Jesus loved -- this is the only way to respond to every circumstance with patience

 

    -- so, patience is an attitude -- it is a choice that you make to love someone in spite of the circumstance -- to endure and persevere through trying times

    -- so, what is kindness? -- as I said earlier, kindness is about action -- it is about putting feet to our faith -- hands to our love

    -- perhaps the best place to see kindness in action is in Jesus' familiar parable of the Good Samaritan -- so, if you would, please turn with me to Luke 10 and let's finish up there

III. The Good Samaritan -- A Portrait of Kindness

    -- as we look at this passage, there are four lessons in responding with kindness that we can learn from the story of the Good Samaritan

    -- look with me now at verse 30

 

30. In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead.

31. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.

32. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.

33. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him.

 

    -- the first lesson is to start seeing the needs of people around you -- Jesus tells us that when the priest and the Levite saw the man, they walked on by -- but when the Samaritan saw the man, he recognized the need

    -- kindness begins with the eyes -- kindness means being sensitive to another person -- seeing and responding to their needs

 

    -- the second lesson we learn here is that we must sympathize with people's pain -- when he saw the man's needs -- when he heard his cries for help -- Jesus says that the Samaritan's heart went out to him -- his heart was filled with pity -- with compassion -- he sympathized over the condition of this man

    -- kindness begins with the eyes -- sympathy begins with the ears -- in order to love people with patience and kindness, we must not only see their needs -- we must listen to their hearts

    -- there's a clip from the Ellen DeGeneres show that is making the rounds through e-mail and on YouTube called, "I drink a little, but I love Jesus" -- it's an extremely funny clip, but a lot of Christians have been objecting to it because of Ellen's lifestyle choices

    -- but, as Billy Bob Briggs pointed out in an article on Serve E-zine, Christians have something to learn from Ellen -- this clip shows that Ellen is a master of two skills that the Samaritan displays here in this passage

    -- first, we must genuinely listen to people and not just pretend to be polite -- the priest and the Levite were polite, but they didn't listen to the cry of the man in the ditch -- the Samaritan listened with his heart and responded in love -- secondly, we must accept people for who they are and celebrate them as God's unique creation -- the Samaritan could easily have walked by because he was of another race -- a race looked down upon by the man he helped -- but he didn't -- he saw the needs -- he heard the cry -- and he loved the man in the ditch for who he was

    -- Galatians 6:2 says, "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." -- by listening with his heart, the Samaritan carried the burden of this man

 

    -- verse 34

 

34. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine.

 

-- the third lesson we learn here is to seize the moment -- Carpe Diem -- Seize the Day -- don't wait -- don't delay -- do what you can, when you can, at that very moment

    -- To be a kinder person like the Good Samaritan you must be willing to be interrupted -- the Samaritan stopped what he was doing and went to the man in need -- Jesus did the same thing -- He always allowed Himself to be interrupted by the needs of others -- the lesson here is "be spontaneous"

    -- when the Samaritan saw the man, heard his cries, and had sympathy for him, he stopped and took action -- he stopped what he was doing and went to the man and took action -- he didn't walk on by and think, "I'll tell the authorities when I get to the next town" -- he didn't say, "I need to get supplies first" -- no, he did what he could with what he had at that particular moment -- he used what resources he had with him -- just like we need to use what resources we have with us when we see someone in need

    -- also, to be a kinder person like the Good Samaritan, you must be willing to take risks -- the Samaritan stopped and took action even though the robbers could still be around -- it could have been a trap -- the robbers might have left the man there to lure another person into their grasp -- but the Samaritan stopped regardless -- he took a risk to love this man

    -- he also took a risk by stooping down to get to where the man was -- this man was laying on the road -- and in order to love him, the Samaritan had to go to where he was -- the Samaritan's actions show us that to be kind to people, you have to get on their level -- face-to-face -- eye-to-eye -- don't look down on them -- go to where they are and love them in that place -- regardless of the risk to your reputation or the risk to your physical well-being

 

    -- look back at the second part of verse 34

 

34. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him.

35. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. `Look after him,' he said, `and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'

 

-- the final lesson we learn here from the Good Samaritan is that we must spend whatever it takes -- there is always a cost to kindness -- but true kindness is going something for somebody else without expecting anything in return -- what did the Good Samaritan expect in return for his help? -- nothing

    -- this encounter cost him -- but he got nothing in return

    -- Jesus tells us that the Samaritan put the man on his own donkey -- took him to an inn -- and continued to care for him -- when he was leaving, he left two silver coins to pay for the continuing care of this man -- the Greek word here is "denarius," a coin that is worth a full day's salary -- when's the last time you spent two day's salary to help another person that you weren't related to?

    -- there is a cost to kindness -- whether it's financial or physical or spiritual -- to truly love someone else, you have to offer them a part of you -- just like the Samaritan did here with the beaten man -- and just like David Langerfeld continues to do with his wife

    -- so, why be kind? -- if it's just going to cost you, why would you do it in the first place? -- we are called to love in kindness because God was kind to us through Christ -- giving us atonement for our sins through Jesus' death and resurrection -- secondly, God blesses kindness -- kindness begets kindness -- kindness spreads the love of Christ in tangible ways -- from us to others and from others back to us

    -- kindness may have an immediate cost to us -- but God has already covered that cost through His grace and mercy and love

 

IV. Closing

    -- in closing, I would like to read you a quote from Charles Sheldon's book, "In His Steps", which started the "What would Jesus do?" movement

    -- in this book a tramp, a man without a home and without a job has been going from church to church looking for help, and in the last church in town he asks for permission to speak to the congregation. This is what he says right before he collapses on the altar and must be taken to the hospital:

    "I'm not an ordinary tramp, though I don't know of any teaching of Jesus that makes one kind of tramp less worth saving than another. Do you? I was wondering as I sat here tonight, if what you call following Jesus is the same thing as what He taught. What did you Christians mean by following the steps of Jesus?

    "I've tramped through this city for three days trying to find a job and in all that time I've not had a word of sympathy or comfort. What is meant by following Jesus? What do you mean when you sing "I'll go with Him, with Him, all the way? Do you mean that you are suffering and denying yourselves and trying to save lost, suffering humanity just as I understand Jesus did? What do you mean by it?

    "It seems to me there's an awful lot of trouble in the world that somehow wouldn't exist if all the people who sing such songs went and lived them out. I suppose I don't understand. But what would Jesus do?"

 

    -- this morning as we seek to learn how to love with patience and kindness, let's take a moment to consider if we are truly being examples of God's grace and love to others or if we're just passing the needy by like the priest and the Levite

    -- are we truly loving the Lord our God with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our strength and with all our mind? -- are we truly loving our neighbor as ourself? -- Are we truly loving with patience and kindness? -- with right attitudes and loving actions?

 

    -- this week, I want you to put this lesson into practice by selecting one person to love -- one person to reach out to -- and I want you to do something practical and tangible for them -- some act or some gift of love that meets a need in their life

    -- this means you'll have to see their needs -- you'll have to listen to their hearts -- and then you'll have to respond in patience and kindness

    -- it could be something like babysitting for a busy mom -- collecting and giving out food or clothes to a person in need -- sitting and praying with someone going through a crisis -- or welcoming a new neighbor with a welcome basket and a smile

    -- what you do is up to you -- but I want to challenge you to do something

 

    -- Brandon Heath has had the number one song, "Give Me Your Eyes," on the Christian charts for over four months now -- this morning, as we close in prayer, I'm going to offer up the chorus of that song as a prayer for us as we seek to respond to those around us in patience and kindness

    -- let's pray

 

    -- "Father God, we want to love others as you love us -- we want to be people who are patient -- who endure and persevere through trials and circumstances -- who demonstrate loving acts of kindness to all we meet

    -- Lord, you know how hard this is -- you know how difficult it is for us to love like this in our own strength -- so, this morning, God, give us your eyes for just one second -- give us your eyes so we can see everything that we keep missing -- give us your love for humanity

    -- give us your arms for the broken-hearted -- for the ones that are far beyond our reach -- give us your heart for the ones forgotten -- that we might love them as You love us

SERMON: 40 Days of Love -- Love Matters Most

40 DAYS OF LOVE SERMON SERIES: LOVE MATTERS MOST

Preached at Naylor UMC on 8 February 2009

 

I. Introduction

    -- turn in Bibles to Mark 12

28. One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"

29. "The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: `Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.

30. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'

31. The second is this: `Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."

32. "Well said, teacher," the man replied. "You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him.

33. To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices."

    -- let me ask you a question -- what is the most important thing in your life? -- when you think about your life, what is the one thing that you value -- that you cherish -- more than the rest?

    -- a couple of weeks ago, we were all riveted by the story of Airways Flight 1459, the US Airways Airbus that crash landed in the Hudson River -- that day started out just like any other day for the pilot, Captain Sully Sullenberger, his crew and their passengers -- the plane was crowded with businessmen, anxious to get to their destination for a meeting -- it was crowded with families, headed to vacations and to see relatives -- it was crowded with students, headed home or headed back to school -- it was crowded with ordinary people headed to ordinary destinations -- for everyone on Flight 1459, it was just an ordinary day -- just another ordinary flight

    -- what do you think they were they thinking as they boarded that plane? -- what was important to them at that moment? -- what was on their mind? -- getting to work? -- getting home? -- getting back to school? -- getting to their destination on time to catch their next flight?

    -- now, as we all know, just moments after takeoff, the plane hit a flock of birds, causing both engines to fail and to lose power -- in that moment, priorities changed -- in that moment, what was important to those people in that plane changed

    -- what if you had been sitting in that plane? -- what if you were sitting there and you heard Captain Sully come on the intercom and tell you that you were about to crash land into the Hudson River? -- what would have been going through your mind?

    -- in those moments when you were facing possible death, what would occupy your thoughts? -- what would be important then? -- more than likely, it wouldn't be your office -- it wouldn't be your job or your morning meetings -- it wouldn't be school -- it wouldn't be homework -- and it certainly wouldn't be money or any of the possessions that seem so important right now

    -- no, when you distill life down to its most basic element -- when you get down to what is truly important in life -- it isn't money or wealth -- it isn't possessions -- it isn't occupations or school or accomplishments -- no, when it comes down to it, the most important things in your life are the relationships you have and the love that binds those relationships together

 

    -- in this passage from Mark, Jesus has been debating this very thing with the Sadducees -- and you can see from the text that they didn't understand it -- as one of the two main leading Jewish sects and the group of people who held the high priesthood and controlled the temple, what mattered most to the Sadducees was the issue of the resurrection -- nothing else they did mattered as much as that -- it consumed their thoughts -- it dictated their actions -- it directed their worship -- this is what defined them -- this is what was important to them -- ultimately, being right about this issue was all they cared about

    -- it kind of reminds me of the way some Christians are so wrapped up about the issue of abortion -- now I am unabashedly pro-life -- I am firmly against abortion -- but I don't let it define me, like some others do -- to them, to be Christian is to be pro-life -- they define who they are -- and who others are -- by their stance on abortion -- they focus on this one issue to the detriment of everything else we are called to do and be as Christians -- abortion is important -- but it is not the most important thing that we are called to do by God

    -- that is what is really going on in this conversation between Jesus and the Sadducees -- He is trying to get them to see that there are more important things in life than this one issue of the resurrection

 

    -- as He is trying to get this point across to them, Mark tells us that a teacher of the law -- a Pharisee -- comes up and hears their debate and sees what Jesus is trying to do -- so he asks Jesus this probing question to push the conversation on

    -- look back at verse 28

28. One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"

    -- "What is the most important commandment? -- What is the most important thing that we should be concerned with? -- It it's not the resurrection, then what?"

    -- verse 29

29. "The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: `Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.

30. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'

31. The second is this: `Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."

 

    -- right there, Jesus answered the question of importance once and for all -- "the most important commandment," He said, "is love -- the most important thing in life...is love -- the most important thing that you can concern yourself with are the relationships built on the love of the Father and the love of those around you"

 

    -- this morning we are going to begin a new sermon series called, "40 Days of Love" -- it's a new series by Rick Warren, the pastor of Saddleback Church in California and the author of "The Purpose Driven Life" based primarily on 1 Corinthians 13

    -- a few months ago we took a cursory look at this chapter, but in this study, we're going to go deep into what is called by most, "The Love Chapter" -- we're going to look at what the Bible says about love and remind ourselves about the truth that the Beatles used to tell us -- "All we need is love"

    -- with Valentine's Day coming up this next Saturday, I thought this would be a good study to remind ourselves of what is truly important in life and to prepare ourselves for the celebration of the ultimate gift of love, Christ's death on the cross at Calvary

    -- so, if you would, please turn over to 1 Corinthians 13 and we'll begin our 40 days of Love by looking at the three reasons God gives us in His word concerning why love needs to be our number one priority in life -- why love matters most

    -- you already know the first reason -- we've already talked about it this morning as we looked at Jesus' response to what the most important commandment was

 

    -- the first reason why love needs to be our number one priority is because love is the supreme value in life

    -- as Jesus said in the passage in Mark that we call "The Great Commandment," -- "Love is the most important thing -- it is all we need -- love matters most" -- the lesson here is obvious -- if we live lives focused on love -- if we make it our number one goal to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love our neighbor as ourselves, then we will truly live lives that matter

    -- when Jesus came to earth, He came for a specific purpose -- reconciliation between God and men -- now this doesn't only mean re-establishing the relationship between us and God -- it means restoring the relationship between us and those around us -- that's why the cross has two aspects -- there's the vertical aspect, by which Jesus paid the way for us to be in a relationship with God again by dying on the cross for our sins -- that's what is covered by the command to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength" -- but there's also a horizontal aspect, by which Jesus made it possible for us to be in true loving relationships with everyone around us -- that's what is covered by the command to "Love your neighbor as yourself"

    -- you know, Jesus didn't just tell us that one time -- this command is repeated in the Bible nine times -- "Love your neighbor as yourself" -- now, if God says something nine times, don't you think we need to pay attention to it?

    -- one more point on this -- do you remember what He said would define us as a church -- as His people? -- I asked this at bible study the other night at Wright's Chapel -- one person said, "evangelism" -- another said, "Worship" -- but the answer is, "Love" -- Jesus said, "they will know you by your love" -- love is the one defining characteristic of the church -- love of God and love of our neighbors -- love is what matters most in our lives -- it is the supreme value of life

 

    -- the second reason why love needs to be our number one priority is because love is the primary objective of life -- look now at 1 Corinthians 13

1. If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

2. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

3. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

 

    -- do you see what Paul is saying there to the church of Corinth about the primacy of love? -- He's saying...

    -- If I don't live a life of love...nothing I say will matter -- even if I speak in the tongues of men and of angels --without love, words are worthless

    -- If I don't live a life of love... nothing I know will matter -- even if I have the gift of prophecy -- even if I can fathom all mysteries and have all knowledge -- without love, brilliance equals zero

    -- If I don't live a life of love...nothing I believe will matter -- I can have the deepest faith -- I can know all the right words and I can know the Bible backwards and forwards -- I can have a faith that can move mountains -- but without love, faith doesn't matter

    -- If I don't live a life of love... nothing I give will matter -- if I give everything I have to the poor -- if I even offer up my body to the flames -- that doesn't mean I am necessarily loving my neighbor as myself

    -- If I don't live a life of love...nothing I accomplish will matter -- relationships are more important than accomplishments -- it's more important to love someone -- to show them the love of Christ -- than anything else in the world -- you can have the biggest church -- you can have people standing up for services on Sunday mornings -- but if you don't have love, you've not accomplished anything

 

    -- the third reason why love needs to be our number one priority is because love is the greatest power in life -- love is the only power in the universe that can change hearts and transform lives

    -- about a month ago, Matthew Paris, a well-known atheist in England, grew up in the small African country of Malawi -- he recently went back for a visit and was appalled at the conditions there -- as he went about the countryside, he noted the one thing that was missing -- the presence of Christian missionaries

    -- as a boy, he had seen how the missionaries truly loved the people in that country -- how they had helped them with the tangible necessities of life -- and how the word of God and the love of God changed their hearts and transformed lives right there in the villages of that African country

    -- in a recent column in the London Times, he wrote, "As an atheist, I truly believe Africa needs God -- missionaries, not aid money, are the solution to Africa's biggest problem"

    -- even Matthew Paris -- even an atheist -- can see that love is the greatest power in the universe and that the love of God given out through His people is the only way that a people and a country and a continent can be changed and transformed for the better

    -- we know this because we have experienced the grace of God in our lives and we know, as the Apostle John told us in 1 John 4:8, that "God is love" and so love is the greatest power in life

 

    -- in my life at church -- especially in my time as a pastor -- I have come to recognize that I'm not going to get anything lasting out of it unless I intentionally leave here with the decision to act on what I've heard -- whether it was something that stirred me in a song or something God spoke to me in His word or whether it was something that inspired me in the sermon -- if I don't intentionally grab hold of it and try to apply it, I find I lose it before I get home

    -- Casting Crowns points that out in their song, "The Altar and the Door" -- a lot of times, if we're not careful -- we lose what we gained at church between the altar and the door

    -- that's why I always take notes when I listen to a sermon -- so, I can go back and read over them later in the week and keep them fresh in my mind -- that's why I gave you a piece of paper to take notes on this morning

    -- we're not here for entertainment -- we're not here just to enjoy spending an hour together in worship -- we're here to have our lives changed through the power and love of the Holy Spirit working in us

    -- so, just like we did with the Fireproof Sermon Series, I'm going to assign you homework each week when you leave -- something that I hope keeps you engaged with God's word this week and \that you can actively apply in your life

    -- on the bottom of the piece of paper I gave you, I want you to write down your task for this week -- what we're trying to answer this week is, "How do we go from talking about love to living a life of love?"

    -- one way we're going to try to do that is by picking one person each week during this sermon series -- it can be the same person-- it can be a different person each week -- doesn't matter -- but I want everyone to pick one person -- it can be a family member -- someone in the church -- a person who needs the Lord -- your neighbor -- a person on the fringes of your life or church -- just whoever the Lord puts on your heart

    -- when you've got your person selected, I want you to do two things:

    -- first, commit to praying for that person this week -- use the idea of 1-1-1 to remind you to pray for 1 person for at least 1 minute at 1:00 pm each day

    -- secondly, make a connection with them this week to deepen your relationship -- the way you connect to them is up to you, but here's a few ideas to get you started

    -- take them out for coffee

    -- send them a note, a card, or an e-mail and just let them know you're thinking of them -- since this is Valentine's week, maybe send them a Valentine's Day Card

    -- give them a call to see how they're doing

    -- ask how you can pray for them

    -- invite them to come to church or invite them to join you for a meal

 

    -- the point is for you to start actively living out God's idea of love in a tangible way with someone in your life -- to the person that He has called you to reach out to

    -- so, as we close in prayer, take a moment and ask God to show you who He wants you to reach out to -- if anyone needs a special moment with God, remember that the altar is always open and you are invited to come up as the last hymn is played

    -- let us pray