WHAT CAN I DO?

"What can I do? What could this church possibly do?" If you've been in the ministry for any length of time, you've probably heard these phrases or similar ones. And that's a real good question. The problem is, it takes some of us longer to find out what the answer is than others.

When I started in the ministry, I felt sure that all it took was a willingness to go out and ingenuity to make it happen. Every idea we had we went forth with. We gave out Bibles, we put together brochures, we had gospel sings, we sent out flyers, we knocked on door after door, we invited people to church, we invited people to homecomings and revivals. In the two churches I pastor we have literally worn ourselves out trying to increase membership and bring people to Christ. But now, six years later, we still find ourselves with basically the same number of members as before. Sure, there's been spiritual growth and maturity in the members in the church, but no increase in members, no increase in professions of faith, despite our best efforts. I can't tell you how many times I yelled up at the heavens and asked God, "OK, what more should we do?"

I have seen the same thing in my personal life as well. Our daughter has a behavioral disorder that makes life literally "hell-on-earth." We've been to psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, and social workers, but nothing has helped. We've tried medications, behavioral modifications, habitat modifications -- nothing. We've bought books, video tapes, been to seminars and consulted with the nation's experts in this disorder. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Despite our best efforts, we have not seen one iota of a change. Once again, I find myself yelling out to heaven, "OK, God, what more can we do" as it seems my prayers bounced off the atmosphere and never made it to His throne.

But lately, I have sensed that an answer to prayer is forthcoming. I have finally taken my eyes off myself and looked around and found that God has been leading me on a path for months and years that I was not aware of. A path that led me away from myself and my strength and my talents. A path that led me to deny myself and my ways and my life and to turn and trust in Him. A path of brokeness and utter dependence on the grace of God for survival.

And when I looked around, I found that I was not alone on this path. Others from our church were walking this same path. After years of trying to revive these small country churches through our own efforts, we have begun to realize that we can't do it. In answer to our questions, "What can I do," God answered back, "Nothing."

We preach it all the time. We study it in the Bible. We claim it as the foundation of our faith. Total dependency on the grace of God, not only for the forgiveness of our sins and eternal life with Him, but also for the abundant life that He promised. But somewhere between the head and the heart, we get lost and end up thinking, perhaps subconsciously, "I can't trust God to do it for me. I have to do something to help the promise come true."

But, on the path to brokeness, you realize what a gift God has given us through His grace. We DON'T have to do anything. We can't do anything. All of our works and our efforts and our talents, if used apart from God, are nothing but filfthy rags and worthless to accomplish anything of eternal value. But, if you trust God, if you step forth with His power and in His presence and fully depending only on Him, then miracles can be accomplished.

Just this past week, while on this path, God sent a ray of light and hope in the form of a retired Methodist minister who shared her story with our church. Dr. Rose Sims showed us what it meant to live in full dependency on God, and she showed us what one small country church could do -- if they truly believed in God and let Him work instead of them. At her last appointment to Trilby United Methodist Church in Florida, a church with seven members -- all over 70 years of age -- and a termite-infested sanctuary with a hole in the roof, Rev. Sims trusted God and His ability to change lives and affect eternity. In just three years, God worked through those 8 people to build a church of over 350 in worship every Sunday, with a youth group of 100 teens doing drama ministry throughout the world. Her message to us was, "If God can do it here, He can do it anywhere!"

We are just starting to understand it and to believe it. We have surrendered ourselves to His will and are trusting in Him to lead our church and to make it what He wants it to be. Maybe it will never grow numerically, but we are going to step forward and know that His plans will come to pass -- if we stand back and let Him direct us and lead us and move us down His path.

And, I know that the same can be said of my personal life as well. Maybe my daughter will never be healed. But God can still work in me and can still use her to mold me and shape me into the person He has called me to be. As He tells us in Romans 8:28, "in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

What can I do? What can our church do? The sky's the limit, IF God is the one leading.