PASTORAL MENTORS IN THE UMC

Earlier today I was discussing the upcoming District Committee on Ministry (DCOM) meeting with a fellow part-time local pastor. He had just received a mild chastisement from the District Superintendent for not contacting his district-appointed mentor in order to get ready for the meeting. Several years ago I was taken to task for not doing the same thing.

My friend mentioned that he had called his mentor (actually, his third mentor since beginning the process 7 years ago) and tried to set up an appointment. After several tries, he had finally gotten in touch with him and set up a date. But, his mentor had someone go in the hospital so the meeting was cancelled. So, he still hasn't had a meeting, and now, unless he can get something set up within the next two weeks, he's going to have to face the wrath of the DCOM. He was a little frustrated with the whole thing, which I fully understand. I have called my mentor a couple of times in the past week, trying to set up a meeting, and have not spoken with him yet. One time, I got no answer. The next time, I left a message on his machine, but he hasn't returned my call yet. Still, as the DS and the DCOM remind us, "It's our responsibility to meet with our mentors on a regular basis."

My friend's son made a good point today after his last attempt to meet with the mentor failed. His son said, "I thought a mentor had responsibilities to you, as well." After hearing this comment from my friend's son, I started pondering the whole pastoral mentoring process in the UMC Candidacy Process.

I understand the need for a mentoring (discipling) relationship. I have actually preached and taught from the pulpit the need for everyone to be in such a relationship, both as a disciple and as a mentor. The spiritual life is hard, and the pastoral life is even harder. We need guidance. We need to seek the advice of someone who has been down that path before us. We need someone who can hold us accountable in our spiritual lives. But, I question the way it is done in the UMC (at least in our district).

In my experience (and in the experience of my friends), the mentoring relationship in the pastoral candidacy process is more a one-way street. It is the local pastor or student pastor's responsibility to set up meetings and to bring up issues. But, it shouldn't be that way. In a true discipleship relationship, the mentor should be meeting with the disciple on a regular basis, working through issues and helping them to grow in their faith and in their pastoral ministry with definite goals along the way. I'm not saying there should be a standard program that all mentoring relationships should follow, but I think the pair should work on the needs of that particular student pastor or local pastor. Perhaps the mentor should meet with the Pastor-Parish Relations committee of his disciple on a regular basis, so he can be aware of the issues that are going on and develop a plan to help the disciple grow through these issues. It cannot just be up to the student pastor/local pastor to decide what issues to work on. Sometimes, we just aren't aware there are problems or issues with our ministry. Generally, it takes someone outside of you to point out your faults and the areas you need work on. You are just too close and just can't see them. This should be a responsibility of the mentor.

A couple of years ago, another local pastor friend of mine got discouraged over the lack of discipleship training coming from the District. Because we couldn't get assistance from our mentors, we agreed to meet together. So three of us formed a mutual discipleship/accountability group to meet and discuss pastoral issues that we were facing in our churches. While this has been a great group and while it serves as a driver in my spiritual life, it does not answer the need for a Paul in our lives, someone who is older and more mature in the faith and in the pastorate who can give us guidance based on years of wisdom.

At the present time, I would have to say that I am disappointed in the mentoring relationship in our district. I see it -- and maybe the elder mentors do as well -- as just another hoop that we have to jump through enroute to the DCOM meeting. It's not something that anyone wants (primarily because it hasn't been tried as it should be). It's just something that we have to do.

There are concerns in the Methodist Church over the lack of young clergy. Perhaps it is time to revisit the mentoring requirement of the candidacy program and to revive it into a meaningful relationship that helps grow pastors for our church.