SPRINGING TO LIFE THIS EASTER

As we continue our progression from winter to spring, from Lent to Easter, from the the pain of the cross to the silence of the grave, we look forward in anticipation of the new life that comes through resurrection. For the past few weeks, we have been blessed to see our world shake off the last vestiges of winter, to see the bare limbs of the trees blossom and cover themselves with new growth, to see the flowers of spring rise up to greet the world.

As I was thinking about this, it struck me how the life of our churches and our congregations go through similar times of death and renewal, of waning and waxing. The lesson of this world is that we must go through winter. We must go through the wilderness. We must go through the times of trials and testing, of tribulation and terrible storms, for it is in these times, in the winter of our lives, that we are taught to look past our external circumstances to the Creator who promises hope and life to us in our pain and weakness. Likewise, in our churches, we tend to go through seasons of trials and testings, times when once prosperous and well-populated churches, vibrant communities of faith decrease in all areas. However, like the seed waiting for spring, like the bud waiting to blossom, God promises that life comes after winter.

Sometimes it is difficult for those of us in small churches to look around at the empty pews, to witness the empty altar at the end of a service, to only witness graying hair and aging saints amidst the echos of faithfulness that once reverberated through the walls of our sanctuaries. Yet, God promises that life can come again to our small congregations, to our dying communities. That even in the midst of the harshest winter, the world will turn once again, the sun will shine, and life will bloom and grow.

What does it take to grow a church? What does it take to spring back to life, to experience the new growth and new life that Christ promises through His death? The answer, simply enough, is to know and believe and do.

To know that Christ is Lord. To know that Christ has already paid the price. To know that the winter will not last forever. To know that the end is not determined by us.

To believe that Christ is Lord, meaning that we act on the head-knowledge that we currently have. To believe that we have already died in Christ and do not have to die again. To believe that we are not called to die, but to live. To believe that we are the chosen people of God, chosen to live in this particular place, to reach out to this particular people, to glorify God through our actions.

Finally, we do. We follow Christ. We rise from the doldrums of winter and into the glorious light of spring. We move from the grave to the mountain, from the past to the future. We press on, following our Leader and sharing His love with others. We shake off our grave clothes and put on the clothes of the living.

What does this mean in a practical sense? It means that we live. That we grow. That we love.

Bishop Willimon recently published a post that promised new life for congregations that are living with one foot in the grave, whose very existence and attitude says that God cannot revive them. Johnson Chapel in Alabama was once such a congregation, but under the leadership of Tom Salter, it is now a vibrant, thriving community of faith once again. Here are the steps that Rev. Salter says moves a church from the grave to Easter, from winter to spring:

First: You must have a giving spirit. "A dying organism tends to preserve itself by conserving its resources. If you want to live – give!"

Second: You must have a seeker-friendly atmosphere. In other words, you invite people to be part of your family. You welcome them in. You love them and intentionally share your love with others in your community.

Third: You must have strong care ministries. As Jesus demonstrated, we must meet the physical and spiritual needs of those around us. We must heal physically and spiritually. Can someone truly come to know Christ through us if we do not reach out to them first in a way they can tangibly understand, in a way that makes a direct difference in their life.

Fourth: You need stable leadership. While Rev. Salter was emphasizing pastoral leadership, I feel that the leadership needs to be set by the laity. It is the elders, the people of the church, who have the opportunity to make the most difference in the life of a congregation. If the leaders of the church are not behind pressing on and moving forward, nothing will happen.

As we approach this Easter together, as we look forward to celebrating once again the wondrous glory of the resurrection, let us look forward to what Christ is going to do through us in our homes and our congregations! Let us look past the winter that has been enveloping us, and let us look forward to the promise of spring and new life in Him!

SERMON: Fireproof Sermon 5: Forgiveness

FIREPROOF SERMON SERIES:

SERMON 5-- FORGIVENESS

15 March 2009

 

I. Introduction

    -- turn in Bibles to Matthew 18

 

21. Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"

22. Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

23. "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.

24. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.

25. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26. "The servant fell on his knees before him. `Be patient with me,' he begged, `and I will pay back everything.'

27. The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

28. "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. `Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.

29. "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, `Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'

30. "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.

31. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32. "Then the master called the servant in. `You wicked servant,' he said, `I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.

33. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?'

34. In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35. "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

 

    -- you know, there are some people I just don't understand -- they seem to walk in a different world than me -- they seem to be filled with a strength that I don't possess -- with knowledge that I can never gain -- with a heart and the capacity to love that I will never measure up to

    -- in my life, I have seen these people myself -- I have read stories about people who were like them -- and every time I come into contact with them -- either through knowing them myself or hearing about their stories -- I am amazed and fascinated by their capacity to love and to live out their faith

    -- as you could probably guess from the passage that we opened with, I am talking about those people who have suffered a grievous wrong in their life but who still found it possible to totally and completely forgive the person or persons who wronged them

    -- remember a couple of years ago when Charles Roberts went into a one-room Amish schoolhouse in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania and took the children hostage -- eventually killing five girls between the ages of 6 and 13 before he committed suicide

    -- for weeks, the nation was fascinated with this story -- not so much the horrific story of the events in the schoolhouse, but the story of how the Amish parents and the Amish community responded with forgiveness and love to the Roberts family in the aftermath of the event

    -- how would you have responded? -- what if it was your family -- your children -- your grandchildren -- that were killed? -- I shudder to think what the response of my heart might be

    -- but the Amish responded with forgiveness and reconciliation to the Roberts family -- immediately after the shooting, Jack Meyer, a member of the Brethren community living near the Amish in Lancaster County, explained: "I don't think there's anybody here that wants to do anything but forgive and not only reach out to those who have suffered a loss in that way but to reach out to the family of the man who committed these acts." [Wikipedia: Amish School Shooting]

    -- hours after the shooting, members of the Amish community visited Roberts' widow, parents, and in-laws and extended forgiveness to them -- "One Amish man held Roberts' sobbing father in his arms, reportedly for as long as an hour, to comfort him" and 30 members of the Amish community actually attended the funeral of the man who had killed their children

    -- Marie Roberts, the widow of the killer, wrote a letter to her Amish neighbors thanking them for their forgiveness, grace, and mercy. -- She wrote, "Your love for our family has helped to provide the healing we so desperately need. Gifts you've given have touched our hearts in a way no words can describe. Your compassion has reached beyond our family, beyond our community, and is changing our world, and for this we sincerely thank you."[Wikipedia: Amish School Shooting]

 

    -- how can we explain such selfless love and forgiveness -- how is this even possible? -- truthfully, it isn't, apart from the love of Christ Jesus -- it is only through the agape love of Christ -- it is only after experiencing the forgiveness from God for all of the sins that we have committed that we are even remotely capable of forgiving in a similar manner

    -- we've been going through this series called, "Fireproofing Our Relationships," for some time now -- we've talked about ways to strengthen our relationships and I've give you challenges each week to help you build on the skills we talked about

    -- this morning, I want to talk to you about the one of the most important skills and actions involved in successful relationships, friendships, and marriages -- that skill is forgiveness -- great relationships are forged in the fire with the tongs of love and forgiveness -- this morning, I want to show you a better way to forgive

    -- we've talked about forgiveness before -- and we'll talk about it again -- because forgiving is not easy -- when we're called on to forgive someone, it's not because they did something that doesn't really matter -- you never have to forgive someone for helping you or making you smile or making you feel good -- no, the only time you have to forgive is when you've been hurt -- and no hurt is a small matter

    -- to have successful relationships, we have to learn to forgive -- we have to learn to love so much that we can forgive the hurts that we have received

    -- sometimes, we even have to forgive when the other person doesn't come to us asking for forgiveness -- this is why the concept of a covenant relationship is so important -- a covenant relationship says that you will love regardless of what the other person does -- that means even if they don't love you back as you deserve -- that means even if they wrong you or hurt you -- you will love them -- and that means you will forgive them for what they have done

    -- this is not easy -- and that is why stories like that of the Amish so capture our imagination and our attention -- because in our heart of hearts, we long to have a forgiving nature like them

 

    -- forgiveness in a relationship not only means forgiving the other person for any wrongs they might have committed against us -- it also means that we recognize the times that we hurt them -- whether intentionally or unintentionally -- and that we come to them in humbleness and apologize and ask for their forgiveness

    -- in this clip that we're about to see, you're going to see one of the best apologies that you'll ever witness in a movie -- after weeks of trying to restore his marriage, Caleb Holt asks his wife to forgive him -- watch this.. [Show Clip 5]

 

II. The Requirement to Forgive

    -- let's look again at what the Bible has to say about forgiveness

    -- before we turn to the passage again, let me give you the context -- this passage is found within a larger teaching by Jesus on sin and forgiveness from sin -- Jesus begins by warning His disciples to avoid sin and to be careful that their actions don't lead anyone else into sin -- especially children and little ones in the faith -- "Don't be the person who causes someone else to fall," He tells them -- and then He turns to the subject of forgiveness

    -- first, Jesus talks about how the Father forgives all of those who have sinned against Him -- He tells them the parable of the lost sheep and says that God will not let even one sinner get away without offering His forgiveness -- His forgiveness is so great that He'll leave the 99 to go get the one who has wandered off

    -- and then, Jesus teaches His disciples that they should forgive that way as well -- "when someone sins against you," He says, "work it out between you -- offer God's forgiveness to them and forgive them of what they have done"

    -- which brings us to verse 21 and Peter's question on the subject of forgiveness

    -- look now at verse 21

 

21. Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"

 

    -- now Peter has been standing there listening to all of Jesus' teachings on sin and forgiveness -- and it seems like he just wants to puff himself up before the others -- he's trying to establish himself as the leader and as the one who really gets it -- who really understands what Jesus has been saying -- so he turns to Jesus and asks, "how many times should I forgive someone who sins against me -- even up to seven times?"

    -- you get the sense that Peter is fishing for a compliment -- I think that he hoped that Jesus would praise him for his question -- you see, the Talmud -- the teachings of the rabbis based on the Old Testament law -- the Talmud said that you only had to forgive someone three times -- the fourth time, it was up to you how to respond -- you could forgive them or you could hold it against them

    -- Peter is, in essence, saying to Jesus -- "Look how holy and forgiving I am -- I would forgive someone not just three times -- but all the way up to seven times -- isn't that the right way to do it?"

    -- but look at Jesus' response -- verse 22

 

22. Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

 

-- you can almost sense the humor in Jesus' reply -- "Peter, not seven times but seventy-seven times" -- some translations say "seventy times seven times" -- this was an enormous number -- the only way you could do that would be to carry a book around with you and keep track of how many times someone wronged you

    -- what would happen in a marriage if you kept a list of how many times that you were hurt by your spouse? -- how long would it take to get to 77? -- it probably wouldn't take long -- especially when you consider how different men and women are -- how we look at things differently -- there are many times that we probably hurt each other unintentionally simply because we are different people

    -- and if you reached 77 times that you forgave them, what would you do? -- quit? -- get a divorce?

    -- Jesus was trying to make a point -- your forgiveness to others should be like the Father's -- the Father doesn't keep track of how many times you sin and how many times you come before Him -- He doesn't quit forgiving you at three or seven or seventy-seven -- He forgives every time -- and so should you -- in other words, Jesus is saying, "don't limit your forgiveness but let it flow out of your heart without ceasing"

 

III. Parable of Forgiveness

    -- Jesus made that perfectly clear in the parable that He told right after He spoke to Peter -- look at verse 23

 

23. "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.

 

    -- every sin that we commit is a debt to God -- as David said in Psalm 51, "Against you and you only have I sinned" -- all of our sins are stacking up against us as a debt against God -- borrowing against His mercy -- and at some point, that debt is going to have to be paid -- He's going to settle His accounts with us

    -- verse 24

 

24. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.

 

-- stop right there -- ten thousand talents in today's money would be somewhere between one and ten million dollars -- we're talking about a lot of money here that this servant owed the king

    -- that's like our sins -- they grow larger and larger and larger until they reach an amount that we never could hope to repay

    -- verse 25

 

25. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26. "The servant fell on his knees before him. `Be patient with me,' he begged, `and I will pay back everything.'

27. The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

 

-- the king looked at the man and understood his hopeless situation -- there was no way to work off the debt, try as he might -- and so the king had pity on the man and showed mercy and grace

    -- mercy -- not giving him what he deserved -- not selling the man and his wife and his children into slavery to repay the debt like he deserved -- and grace -- giving him what he did not deserve -- wiping the man's debt totally clean -- marking the account "paid in full"

    -- what a beautiful picture of the forgiveness of the King -- of the mercy and the grace of God through Christ Jesus -- forgiving us a debt so great that we could never hope to repay it -- no matter how long we worked -- no matter how many sacrifices we made

    -- verse 28

 

28. "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. `Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.

29. "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, `Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'

30. "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.

 

-- now this fellow who has been forgiven a debt of over one million dollars goes out and finds a fellow servant who owes him only a hundred denarii -- that's less than $100 -- and he demands that the servant pay him back immediately -- and when he can't, he has him thrown into prison until the debt is paid back in full

    -- the one who was shown mercy has shows none to another -- the one who was shown grace offers none to another

    -- verse 31

 

31. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32. "Then the master called the servant in. `You wicked servant,' he said, `I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.

33. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?'

34. In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

 

-- the master calls this man a "wicked" servant -- not wicked because he had accrued a debt of over a million dollars -- but wicked because he has refused to show mercy to another

    -- after being forgiven so great a debt, how could this man not forgive such a lesser debt owed him? -- and so the king has the man thrown into prison to be tortured until he can pay back all of the money he originally owed

    -- now look at Jesus' final summary of this parable and of all His teachings on the topic of forgiveness -- verse 35

 

35. "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

 

    -- this parable makes it clear -- as a Christian, we have a duty to forgive -- it is not a choice, but a requirement -- if we are going to enjoy the forgiveness of God for the sins that we have committed against Him, then we have to extend His forgiveness to those who sin against us -- to those who hurt us -- especially to those we are in a relationship with

 

III. Steps to Forgiveness

    -- In his tape LIVING FAITH (Random House Audio Books, 1996), President Jimmy Carter shares that forgiveness is fundamental to his life -- He says that without the knowledge that he can be forgiven, it would be impossible for him to face his own shortcomings -- This even includes forgiving himself

    -- Jimmy points out that both he and his wife, Rosalyn, are "strong-willed" people who find it difficult to admit being at fault -- so one day, after a knock-down drag-out argument with his wife, Jimmy decided that he would never let another day end with each of them angry with the other

    -- he went out to his wood shop and cut a thin piece of walnut, a little smaller than a bank check -- On it, he carved the words, "Every evening -- forever -- this plaque is good for an apology or forgiveness, whatever you desire." -- he went in and gave it to Rosalyn and told her that he was sorry

    -- with this plaque, Jimmy created a climate of forgiveness between the two of them -- because he knew that she would forgive him, he said that he was quick to admit his faults -- and because he knew that she would forgive him when he hurt her, he was also quick to forgive her when she had done something wrong to him

 

    -- so, how do we create this climate of forgiveness in our own relationships? -- how does this work in the real world?

    -- real quick, I want to lead you through the process of forgiveness -- and as we go through this, keep in mind that this is a process -- you might forgive someone today for hurting you and then find you're still angry with them tomorrow -- that's o.k. -- that's natural -- that's human nature -- if that's the case, then just go back through the steps again -- how ever many times you need to -- until you find that you have truly and completely forgiven the person who wronged you

    -- don't worry about writing these down -- I've got them printed out for you and you can pick them up as a reminder on the way out of the door -- I'm going to do this fast, so hang on with me

 

    -- so, how do I forgive?

 

1. MAKE A DECISION TO FORGIVE.

    -- If you wait until you feel like forgiving, you'll never get there. Being hurt is an emotional event, and emotions don't heal by themselves. They heal with the help of your will. First, make a decision to forgive. Later, your feelings will follow.

    -- a few years ago I was hurt by a man who misread, misunderstood and misjudged me -- he even filed a complaint against me at work and said all kind of hurtful things about me and my actions -- and I realized that I was resentful -- I was harboring hatred in my heart against this man -- and I needed to forgive him -- but I didn't know how -- I didn't know where he was and I couldn't call him and talk to him because of the complaint he filed -- I didn't know how to forgive

    -- but God showed me that I didn't have to talk to him to forgive him -- it didn't matter that he didn't come to me and ask for forgiveness -- God showed me that it wasn't about him so much as it was about me -- I needed to forgive him because it was my heart that was hurt -- forgiving is more about you than about the other person -- and it all starts with the decision to forgive

 

2. SAY THE WORDS—AT LEAST TO YOURSELF.

    -- When I forgave this person, I actually said the words in my mind: "I forgive you." -- There is something tangible that happens in your heart when you release someone from the wrong they have done to you. -- It starts with your will, so even if you don't feel like it, once you make the decision, say to yourself, "I forgive him," or, "I forgive her." Your feelings will follow.

    -- Listen to this part carefully: I didn't say the words to person who had hurt me, I just said the words aloud, to myself and to God -- I didn't say the words to the man, because that would have just brought the issue up, and bringing the issue up wasn't the issue, the forgiveness was

    -- Clara Barton was the founder of the American Red Cross -- One day a friend reminded her of a particularly hateful thing someone had done to her years before -- When she ignored the comment and acted as if she had never heard of it, her friend called the conversation back

    -- "Don't you remember that?" she asked. -- "No," said Barton. "I distinctly remember forgetting it."

    -- Sometimes we make forgiveness far too complicated by stirring up the water under the bridge -- The best kind of forgiveness forgives and then lets the past stay in the past.

 

3. WHEN YOU FORGIVE, FORGIVE.

    -- the word that Jesus uses here in this passage is the Greek word, "Macrothumia" -- "Macro" means "big" -- and "thumia" refers to "wrath or anger" -- so, Jesus is saying that we should forgive by putting aside our big anger -- putting aside our hurt -- our right for revenge – put your anger aside, put your hurt, your resentment, your right to revenge aside.

    -- this is not saying that you should constantly let someone wrong you or hurt you -- when there is a need to confront, confront -- get it out into the open so it can be healed -- but when you've reached the stage where you need to forgive someone else, don't cast blame -- don't bring up old issues -- don't try to score points or set yourself up to win the next round -- when you forgive, forgive and put the issue behind you

 

Step 4…

4. FORGIVE COMPLETELY.

    -- in Colossians 3:13, Paul writes, "forgive as the Lord forgave you" -- in other words -- forgive like Jesus forgave you -- forgive in the same way that He forgave you -- how did Jesus forgive?

    -- did he forgive begrudgingly? -- did He forgive only in part? -- did He forgive in a way that made Him look good? -- did He wait until we deserved forgiveness?

    -- no, Jesus forgave us wholly and completely without reservation -- without looking back -- before we even knew we needed forgiveness, Jesus forgave us

    -- this may be the case in a lot of our lives -- we might find ourselves forgiving others before they even know that they need forgiveness -- and when we forgive, we have to do so completely

 

5. FORGIVE REPEATEDLY.

    -- Forrest Gump said that "life is like a box of chocolates" -- well, forgiveness is like peeling an onion -- we begin by peeling the outer layer, but after we take that off, what's left -- more onion -- more to be forgiven -- more anger to be set aside

    -- when we've been hurt so deeply that we really need to forgive someone else, then it's going to be like peeling an onion -- we peel off one layer -- we forgive them one day -- and then we have to do it all over again -- maybe the next day or the next week or the next year -- when you forgive, realize that you may have to forgive the same offense more than once -- not because the offense needs to be forgiven multiple times, but because we need to set aside our anger multiple times

    -- as Jesus tells us in this passage, "Forgive repeatedly."

 

6. FORGIVING DOESN'T MEAN FORGETTING AND FORGIVING DOESN'T MEAN TRUSTING

 

    -- When someone hurts you deeply, your brain records it -- It's there, you can't forget it -- the Bible tells us that God can forget our wrongs -- that when we sin against Him and ask Him to forgive us for what we've done, He puts our sin in the sea of forgetfulness -- God is the only person capable of truly forgetting when someone has wronged Him

    -- we're not God -- we can't do that -- we might forget for a while, but it's going to come back up again -- so what do we do -- we just "macrothumia" it -- we just lay it aside -- we just let our wrath go -- and try to forget again

    -- one problem people have with forgiving is that they think forgiving means they have to trust that person again -- that's not true -- forgiveness is about letting go of the anger in your heart -- forgiveness is about healing yourself -- not the other person

    -- when someone establishes a pattern of untrustworthy behavior, you can't trust them. -- It wouldn't make sense -- So, when a repeat offender continues to wrong you, you forgive them -- And if they want to restore the relationship, then you set up a system by which they can prove that they really have changed

    -- forgiveness can happen quickly because it is unilateral -- it only requires an action on your part -- trust, on the other hand, has to be earned -- it takes time, because it involves a relationship between two people

    -- Here's an important distinction: --FORGIVENESS MUST BE GRANTED, IT CAN'T BE EARNED. -- TRUST CAN'T BE GRANTED. IT MUST BE EARNED.

 

IV. Closing

    -- forgiveness is a gift from God -- through Christ, God forgave us for the sins that we committed -- He refused to pour out His vengeance and wrath on us but offered His very Son as a sacrifice to ensure that justice was done -- and, once justice was served, God poured out His blessings on us -- on the very people that once had trespassed against Him

    -- in the same way, God calls for us to forgive others that have trespassed against us -- He knows that our hearts have been hurt and damaged by others -- and He knows that these wounded hearts can keep us from loving Him and loving others as He wants

    -- so, He encourages us to offer forgiveness to others in our hearts -- so that in the process of forgiveness we might find healing from the hatred and bitterness and resentment that we have built up in our lives

 

    -- when I went to my first Kairos -- the prison ministry similar to the Walk to Emmaus -- I saw the power of forgiveness in the life of another person -- those men in that place had deeply wounded hearts -- they were not only held in physical bars in that place, but they were bound up with spiritual bars of hatred and resentment and unforgiveness to others in their lives

    -- a lot of them were in prison because of the hurts that others had inflicted upon them -- their wives -- their fathers -- their mothers -- friends -- others they knew

    -- as part of the weekend, we led them through the process of forgiveness and helped them to release the hurts in their hearts through the power of Christ

    -- and I watched as those men wept with joy for the first time in their lives -- as they forgave those who hurt them and as they were freed to allow the blessing and salvation of God into their hearts -- relationships may not have been restored that weekend, but lives were changed through the healing power of forgiveness

    -- there is power in forgiveness -- and that is why Jesus commands us in the Lord's Prayer to pray daily, "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us"

 

    -- as I finally come to a close, let's talk about this week's Love Challenge -- the past four Love Challenges have all been things that you had to go home and do -- today's Love Challenge is something that you can do right here -- right now

    -- here is want I want to challenge you to do -- as I close in prayer, we're going to have a moment of silence -- and in that quiet place, I want you to search your hearts and see if there is someone that you need to forgive -- someone who has wronged you -- someone who has hurt you

    -- and then I want you to pray with me as we offer forgiveness to them through the power of Christ -- not necessarily for their sake -- but for the healing that will come in your own heart as a result of forgiving them and putting your anger and wrath aside

    -- let us pray

SERMON: 40 Days of Love: Love is not Selfish

40 DAYS OF LOVE SERMON SERIES:

LOVE IS NOT SELFISH

15 March 2009

 

 

I. Introduction

    -- turn in Bibles to 1 Corinthians 13

 

4. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

5. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

6. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

7. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8. Love never fails.

 

    -- this morning, as we continue on our series on the 40 Days of Love, our key verse is verse 5, specifically the part of that verse where the Apostle Paul tells us that love is not self-seeking -- or, to put that in other words, love is not selfish

 

    -- selfishness goes against everything that Jesus taught, but we are currently living in the most self-conscious society that has ever existed -- people are more concerned about themselves and their happiness than at any point in history -- especially, the younger generations

    -- you've heard about the "Me" generation? -- that's what we're living right now -- looking at our society as a whole, we are seeing an entire generation -- an entire culture -- that puts the needs of the individual first -- that doesn't understand the concept of duty or sacrifice before self -- the focus is all on "Me" -- we are the "I" generation -- I-phones -- I-pods -- even the Army had the slogan a few years ago, "An Army of One" -- and guess who the "One" was? -- yeah, me -- it's all about "I" and "me" and "mine"

    -- I look around at what's going on and I'm reminded of that song from Toby Keith from a few years ago, "I want to talk about me" -- "I want to talk about me, I want to talk about I, want to talk about number one -- Oh my me my -- What I think -- what I like -- what I know -- what I want -- what I see -- I like talking about you, usually, but occasionally, I want to talk about me."

 

    -- just walk into any bookstore -- look at the New York Times Bestseller List -- and see what's flying off the shelves -- see what people are reading today -- what you'll find is that everyone is obsessed with self -- one of the largest sections you'll find in a bookstore now is the "self-improvement" section -- look at the magazines and see how many are focused on self-health and self-improvement and self-growth -- there's even a magazine simply called, "Self"

    -- one of the most popular websites in the country is called, "Self-growth" -- touting itself as the comprehensive self-improvement encyclopedia for the web -- we are a culture focused on ourselves -- we are a selfish generation

 

    -- in the past 10 years, we've had this proliferation of social networking sites -- it started out with a site called, curiously, "My Space" -- from there it's gone to Facebook and other sites where the focus is on self -- you create a homepage that's all about you -- what you like -- what you are doing -- what is important to you -- and in a classic example of Narcissism, you expect people to just come and view your site because you are that important -- you are so important that people just need to know what you are doing and what you think

    -- and now, the newest thing to hit the technological scene is "Twitter" -- anyone in here "Twitter?" -- it's becoming the hottest thing in the country -- according to the Twitter website, "Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co-workers to communicate and stay through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: what are you doing?"

    -- the concept is that throughout the day, you constantly write up little "tweets" that answer that question, "What am I doing at this moment?" -- and you invite people to join your Twitter feed so that they can focus on you and what you are doing throughout the day

    -- as Toby Keith said, "It's all about me -- it's all about "I""

 

    -- after years of counseling people and talking with them about relationships, especially marriage relationships, I have come to the conclusion that most of the problems in a relationship come back to the fact that someone in the relationship is focusing too much on "self" and not enough on the other person -- they're focusing too much on their wants -- their needs -- their happiness -- their dreams -- and if they're not being self-fulfilled in this relationship, then the easy answer is to get out and start another one

    -- the Bible teaches that you can't be selfish and loving at the same time -- and if the focus of your relationship is "you" rather than the other person, it is doomed for failure -- Rick Warren says that "selfishness is a poison to relationships"

    -- when you focus on "Me" and "I," you are telling the world -- and telling those that you love -- that you are greater or more important than them

 

II. Scripture Lesson (Matthew 20:20-28)

    -- unfortunately, the church is not immune from this focus on self -- a lot of preachers and teachers and churches focus on self and improving self over Christ's clear call to deny ourselves and put others above us -- and even though the church is the one place where you should never see politics or exaltation among members, that is exactly what we see time and time again as members try to take on the more important roles or try to get their agendas pushed forward at the expense of others

    -- we see the same thing happening here in the Bible among Jesus' first followers -- if you would, turn with me to Matthew 20 and let's look at a passage here where some of Jesus' disciples tried to promote themselves and their interests above the interests of others

 

    -- look down with me now at verse 20

 

20. Then the mother of Zebedee's sons came to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling down, asked a favor of him.

 

    -- Jesus had just announced to His disciples that they were going to Jerusalem to fulfill the purpose of His coming -- He was to offer Himself as a sacrifice for others and then would be raised from the dead on the third day into glory

    -- missing the whole point of what Jesus had said -- missing the whole point of what Jesus was going to do -- namely, that He was demonstrating obedience and sacrifice and duty above self -- the mother of James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to Jesus and knelt down and worshiped Him -- but notice that her worship came at a price -- she worshiped Jesus because she wanted something from Him

    -- how many times do we do that? -- how many times do we come and worship Jesus, not because of who He is -- not because of what He has done for us -- but because we want Him to do something else? -- how many times do we put "self" on the throne of worship while giving lip-service to Jesus?

 

    -- verse 21

 

21. "What is it you want?" he asked. She said, "Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom."

 

-- Jesus saw right through her motives -- "What is it you want?" He asked -- how discouraging it must have been for Him to have to ask that question -- here He was, about to give all -- about to offer up His body and His blood on the cross -- about to endure the shame of the cross and to become sin and bear that sin on the cross of punishment for others -- and here Zebedee's wife has come seeking to promote her sons

    -- "put one of my sons on your right and one on your left when you come into your kingdom" -- in other words, "exalt my sons -- make them the greatest in your kingdom outside of you -- let them be greater than all the rest"

    -- now, don't forget -- Zebedee's wife wasn't doing this on her own -- James and John were right there with her -- this was a plan -- this was something that the three of them worked out together and brought to Jesus so that they would be exalted -- so that they would be the greatest in the Kingdom

    -- do you see what they're doing here? -- for three years, James and John had lived in a close group with the other disciples and Jesus -- they had been taught how to love -- they had seen Jesus give of Himself time and time again on behalf of others -- but here, as their journey is nearing its end -- as they're going up to Jerusalem for the last time -- selfishness takes over -- and they come to Jesus and ask Him to promote them above all the rest

 

    -- verse 22

 

22. "You don't know what you are asking," Jesus said to them. "Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?" "We can," they answered.

23. Jesus said to them, "You will indeed drink from my cup, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my Father."

 

-- Jesus says, "You don't know what you're asking" -- how can you have missed the point? -- how can you have missed the heart of my teaching? -- it's not about exalting yourself -- it's not about promoting yourself -- this is not how you become great in the Kingdom

 

    -- verse 24

 

24. When the ten heard about this, they were indignant with the two brothers.

 

-- when the other disciples heard what James and John had done, Matthew says that they were "indignant" -- they were upset -- they were not happy -- why?

    -- well, for one thing, because none of them had thought of it -- think about what we know of Peter and the others -- don't you think they would have asked Jesus to be promoted if they had thought of it first?

    -- secondly, they were upset with James and John's request because every one of them -- in their hearts -- believed that they were more capable -- more deserving -- than James and John

    -- even after three years of being with Jesus, the disciples were still a selfish lot -- putting self above others

    -- verse 25

 

25. Jesus called them together and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them.

26. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant,

27. and whoever wants to be first must be your slave--

28. just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

 

-- so, Jesus called the 12 over to Him and explained to them, once again, what it meant to be great in the Kingdom -- "whoever wants to be great, must be a servant -- they must be a slave to the others" -- in other words, those who are great are those who deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me in the path of sacrifice and slavery and servanthood

    -- if you want to be great, don't try to exalt yourself -- if you want to be great, put others' needs and wants and desires above your own -- if you want to be great, don't focus on yourself -- focus instead on serving those around you and promoting their interests above your own

 

    -- right now, our country is in the midst of one of the worst economic crises that we have ever faced -- and if you get down to the heart of it, you'll quickly see that it was caused by nothing more than selfishness -- by greed -- by people wanting to get rich and to meet their own needs and wants and desires at the expense of others

    -- and our Government's response has been similar -- rather than going to Washington to serve the people -- rather than going to Washington to put sacrifice and duty above self -- we have politicians who are exalting themselves and promoting their own self-interests and pork-barrel projects at the expense of those around them

    -- can you imagine what our country would be like if we turned from an "I" and a "Me" generation to a "You" generation? -- can you imagine what a difference it would make if we would just follow Jesus' words here in this passage? -- if we would just follow His example? -- if we would just let ourselves decrease in importance in our eyes and live to serve others -- in all of our relationships -- in all of our business dealings?

    -- can you imagine what our churches could do if we truly lived out Christ's call to deny ourselves and follow Him down this path?

    -- our relationships and our whole lives have been poisoned by the seed of selfishness -- it goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve ate of the forbidden fruit because they selfishly desired to be greater than they should have been -- and ever since then, selfishness has been like a disease running rampant through our bodies and minds

    -- the question before us then -- as we seek to move into deeper and truer loving relationships with others -- is how do we fight this disease of selfishness -- what are the antidotes to selfishness in our lives?

 

III. Antidotes to Selfishness

    1. The first antidote to selfishness is to build strong relationships with other people -- love gets the focus off you and on someone else -- remember the phase of love that we call being "in love" -- that's the phase of love when our entire focus is on the other person -- instead of our wants -- our needs -- our desires -- the focus is on them and what we can do for them

    -- this needs to be the standard model for all our relationships -- we need to build relationships so our focus is on others -- best place to do that is in the church, among people who are also trying to live out Christ's commands to put others above self

    -- it's all about focusing on others -- did you know that the Bible uses the term "one another" 58 times? -- "love one another" -- "serve one another" -- "wash the feet of one another" -- time and time again, we are told to put others above us -- and you do this, not in Sunday worship, but through living out Christ's call in all your relationships

 

    2. The second antidote to selfishness is to give yourself away -- as Jesus told His disciples, you do this through ministry -- by becoming the servant and slaves of others -- the Greek word that we translate as "minister" in the Bible literally means "service"

    -- service to others helps you quit thinking about yourself and start thinking about those around you -- Jesus is calling us to the place where we give ourselves away for the benefit of others -- you never find fulfillment in living for yourself -- you only find fulfillment in giving your life away

    -- Ephesians 2:10 says that we were created in Christ Jesus to do good works -- we were created to serve others -- to give ourselves away and to spend our lives in helping others

 

    3. The third antidote to selfishness is to practice self-denial -- this runs counter to all the culture is telling us -- the world tells us it's all about us -- we should promote ourselves -- improve ourselves -- help ourselves -- focus on ourselves

    -- Jesus says we should deny ourselves and take up our cross and follow Him -- we have talked many times about agape love in here -- that unconditional love that flows from the Father to us and from us to others -- agape love says that we put others above us -- we deny ourselves -- we make our wants and needs and desires less important so that we can show love to others unconditionally -- what is important, Jesus says, is not me or I but you -- it's the person next to us that we are called to love -- not ourselves

    -- that's why the Bible teaches that true love is unselfish -- that is what the Bible tells us when it says, "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son" -- God put aside His wants and desires and wishes -- He who knew no sin became sin for us and died on the cross in our place -- He denied Himself so that we might experience His agape love in our lives

 

IV. Closing

    -- I heard a story one day about this little boy and his sister who were riding a rocking horse together -- finally, the boy said, "If one of us would get off this rocking horse, there would be more room for me"

    -- that, my friends, is the definition of selfishness -- that is the way of the world -- that is the current focus of our "Me" generation with all its ills and vices

    -- as I close this morning, let me encourage you to choose a different way -- a better way -- instead of saying, like the little boy, "If one of us would get off this rocking horse, there would be more room for me" -- let's make a conscious effort this week to say, "Let me deny myself -- let me get off, so there'll be more room for you"

    -- love is not selfish -- love is not self-seeking -- love always promotes others above self -- that is the message of the Bible -- and that is the message of Jesus for us today

 

    -- let us pray

SERMON: Fireproof Sermon 4: Breaking Free

FIREPROOF SERMON SERIES:

SERMON 4 -- BREAKING FREE

8 March 2009

 

I. Introduction

    -- turn in Bibles to 1 Corinthians 10

 

1. For I do not want you to be ignorant of the fact, brothers, that our forefathers were all under the cloud and that they all passed through the sea.

2. They were all baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea.

3. They all ate the same spiritual food

4. and drank the same spiritual drink; for they drank from the spiritual rock that accompanied them, and that rock was Christ.

5. Nevertheless, God was not pleased with most of them; their bodies were scattered over the desert.

6. Now these things occurred as examples to keep us from setting our hearts on evil things as they did.

7. Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written: "The people sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in pagan revelry."

8. We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did--and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died.

9. We should not test the Lord, as some of them did--and were killed by snakes.

10. And do not grumble, as some of them did--and were killed by the destroying angel.

11. These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages has come.

12. So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!

13. No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

 

 

    -- there's a commercial that's on TV right now that I've been thinking about lately -- you might have seen it -- it's about a firefighter -- and the commercial says something along the lines of "Captain Smith is a big man -- strong and determined and capable -- but even though he's big, he wasn't prepared for the small thing that almost took his life" -- and it goes on to talk about how a blood clot caused a stroke in his life and how this new drug is keeping him safe from it ever happening again

    -- you know, as a wildlife biologist, I have to deal with a lot of big and scary things -- I handle alligators -- I catch foxes and raccoons -- I have to take care of wounded deer -- I deal with a lot of animals that could harm you if you're not careful -- but, truth be told, I don't really worry about them a whole lot

    -- if you want to know what really scares me, it's the little things that I have to deal with -- I had to handle a bat this week -- and so all week I've been kind of worried about rabies -- a tiny little virus -- so little you can't even see it without a powerful microscope -- but this little parasite can get in your blood and will cause certain death if it's not treated

    -- I also worry about other parasites -- ticks and red bugs -- mosquitoes and other biting insects -- but I'm especially worried about a tiny tapeworm called Echinococcus multilocularis -- anyone in here ever hear of it? -- no -- no one really knows about it -- but this is what I did my Master's on -- if you get infected with this tapeworm, it is 100% fatal -- there is no cure -- it may take years, but you will die from it -- and there's many other tapeworms and parasites out there in nature that I worry about

    -- you know, in our spiritual lives, we do a pretty good job at the big stuff -- like I said a few weeks ago, we watch out for the elephants and the hippopotamus's and all the other big things that can come in our Christian life and in our relationships with others

    -- but we don't do such a good job at watching out for the small things -- for the parasites that can come in unaware and set you up for a big fall

 

    -- this morning, we're continuing in our sermon series based on the movie Fireproof -- and in this movie, as the main character Caleb Holt tries to rebuild his life and his relationship with his wife, he finds himself hampered because of parasites in his own life

    -- if you would, let's watch this clip from the movie

    

    [Show Video Session 4]

 

    -- I really like that quote from this clip that Caleb read from "The Love Dare," -- "Watch out for parasites -- a parasite is anything that latches onto you or your partner and sucks the life out of your marriage -- they're normally in the form of addictions like gambling, drugs, or pornography -- they promise pleasure, but grow like a disease and consume more and more of your thoughts, time and money -- they steal away your loyalty and your heart from those you love"

 

    -- Gambling, drugs, pornography… parasites -- parasites don't have to be addictions, but they frequently are -- right here in our own community, these three parasites of gambling, drugs, and pornography are rampant

    -- while we don't have casinos here, we do have gambling -- we've got the lottery -- we've got poker -- we've got Jai Lai and dog races and betting on football and basketball and everything else right here in our backyard and on our computers at home

    -- we don't even have to really mention the problems with alcoholism and drug addictions -- they're rampant in our community -- just read the paper -- just watch the news -- and you'll see how family after family is being torn apart by these evils

    -- and with the advent of the internet, pornography is no longer something that you have to go out to find -- used to be, if you wanted to look at pornography, people would have to go to a store and buy a magazine -- but now, with the internet in over 90% of our homes, people can sit right there in the comfort of their own bedrooms and be infected with parasites and no one has to know

    -- Promise Keepers -- the international men's Christian organization -- did a poll among men who attended their conferences to identify the top issues and struggles that impeded their spiritual growth -- 62% of these men indicated pornography and sexual sin -- keep in mind that these are not just random men -- these are not even just men who come to church on Sundays -- these are dedicated, Godly men who are actively participating in a men's movement to become better husbands and fathers and sons -- 62% of them struggle with sexual sin -- the number is even higher among the general population of the U.S. -- the authors of XXXChurch.com estimate that more than 90% of the men in this country are involved with pornography at some level in their lives

    -- parasites -- small things that are threatening to suck the life out of our relationships and our walks with God -- it may not be the more obvious addictions like gambling and drugs and sexual sin -- it may be one of a hundred other things that is threatening to infect you and lead you away -- a few weeks ago I mentioned to you that every temptation you face falls into one of three categories -- lust of the eyes -- lust of the flesh -- or pride of life

    -- all of us have our own demons -- all of us have areas in our lives where we are weak and vulnerable -- for some of us it may be pornography -- for some of us it may be drugs and alcohol use -- for some of us it may be lying or gossiping -- for some of us it might be pride or a judgmental nature

    -- regardless of what areas we may struggle within our personal lives, if we're not careful, these areas can be open doors to allowing parasites into our lives and our relationships

    -- in this passage that we opened with, the Apostle Paul is dealing with parasites in the church of Corinth

 

II. Scripture Lesson

    -- let's look back at this passage in a little more detail -- as we look back, let me give you a reminder of the background and context of this letter -- the church at Corinth was a carnal church -- it was a mixed church of Jews and Gentiles -- and the people there were struggling with internal forces -- with parasites, if you will, that were threatening to rip it apart from the inside out

    -- some of the Christians there were struggling with pride as they sought the more visible and more recognizable spiritual gifts

    -- others were struggling with lust as they continued to follow the pagan practices of incorporating sex and worship -- others were struggling in areas of power and prestige -- while others were succumbing to various other types of temptations and sins

    -- so Paul wrote this epistle to the church of Corinth to warn them of the dangerous path they were following -- to encourage them to follow the path of Christ and to turn away from all the parasites that were threatening their Christian community and their own Christian faith

 

    -- look back at verse 1

 

1. For I do not want you to be ignorant of the fact, brothers, that our forefathers were all under the cloud and that they all passed through the sea.

2. They were all baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea.

3. They all ate the same spiritual food

4. and drank the same spiritual drink; for they drank from the spiritual rock that accompanied them, and that rock was Christ.

5. Nevertheless, God was not pleased with most of them; their bodies were scattered over the desert.

 

    -- Paul began this warning by reminding them of their spiritual heritage -- for the Jews in their midst, Paul went back to the seminal event in Jewish history -- the exodus from Egypt -- when God intervened in their lives and sent Moses to lead the people of Israel out of slavery and into freedom by crossing through the Red Sea

    -- Paul reminds them that the whole nation of Israel left Egypt and that, for a time, the whole nation followed God

    -- Paul says, "our forefathers were all under the cloud" -- as you remember, when God led the people of Israel in the wilderness, He manifested Himself as a cloud by day and a pillar of fire at night -- when the cloud moved forward, the people followed -- when the cloud stopped, the people stopped -- they followed God's direction

    -- likewise, Paul says that they "were all baptized into Moses...in the sea" -- this refers to their crossing through the Red Sea as God parted the sea and made a path for them to cross on dry land -- to be "baptized" into Moses meant that they identified with his faith -- they trusted in the God who had sent him -- and only those who were baptized into Moses -- only those who followed him through the sea to the other side -- were saved from the wrath of the Egyptians -- the people who were baptized into Moses were the ones who received and accepted the presence of God in their lives and the promise of eternal life through Him alone

    -- Paul reminded them of God's divine sustenance in their lives -- of the spiritual food -- the manna -- that He sent to feed them for 40 years in the wilderness -- and of their spiritual drink -- the water He brought forth from the rock that Moses hit with his staff -- both symbols of God's presence in the life of the church of Corinth as experienced through Christ Jesus -- the Bread of Life and the Living Water

    -- in short, Paul is saying, "Our forefathers believed, too -- our ancestors were people of faith -- they trusted God enough to follow Him when He led them as a cloud or as a pillar of fire -- they trusted Him to lead them through the waters of the Red Sea to salvation, although it looked like there was no hope -- and they trusted Him to provide them with their daily bread and with the water of life

    -- they were just like you -- you are the church in Corinth -- you proclaim the name of Christ -- you proclaim faith in the God of Israel -- but, if you aren't careful, you will follow their path into spiritual destruction, too"

 

    -- verse 6

 

6. Now these things occurred as examples to keep us from setting our hearts on evil things as they did.

 

-- Paul wrote, "the reason these things happened -- the reason I'm telling them to you -- is so they might serve as an example to you -- as a warning to you"

    -- I've got a poster in my office -- it shows a ship, sort of like the Titanic, that is sinking into the water -- it's about half-way down in the water and the only thing you can see is the bow of the ship sticking straight up out of the water -- and the caption says, "Perhaps you exist only to serve as a warning to others"

    -- that's the same thought here -- Paul is telling the Corinthians to pay attention to the example of the early Israelites so that they don't displease God and suffer the consequences for their actions

 

    -- verse 7

 

7. Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written: "The people sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in pagan revelry."

8. We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did--and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died.

9. We should not test the Lord, as some of them did--and were killed by snakes.

10. And do not grumble, as some of them did--and were killed by the destroying angel.

11. These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages has come.

 

-- did you notice the words of warning in this passage? -- evil -- idolatry -- sexual immorality -- testing the Lord -- grumbling -- parasites of temptation and sin

    -- keep in mind who Paul is talking about here -- Paul is not talking about the world -- he's not talking about the people that you brush shoulders with on a daily basis -- he's talking about people of faith -- people who had seen the hand of God working mightily in their midst

    -- these were men and women who had seen God inflict the Egyptians with plagues -- these were men and women who had watched God part the Red Sea and let them through -- these were men and women who had seen and followed the cloud and the pillar of fire in the wilderness -- who were fed by the manna -- who drank from the rock -- these were people who knew God -- and yet the parasites still came into their midst

    -- and so Paul is warning the Corinthians and he's warning us, "Be careful -- this happened to them -- these were mighty men and women of God and they let parasites creep into their lives and suck their spiritual vigor -- they let parasites come in and drain their spiritual lives -- and they reaped the consequences of their actions -- don't let it happen to you"

 

    -- verse 12

 

12. So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!

 

-- in verse 12, Paul is giving a warning to those who considered themselves strong in the faith -- it's a sad fact of life that those who are the strongest -- those who are the biggest -- seem to fall the hardest

    -- we have seen this in the Christian community in recent history -- back in the 80's and 90's, we had the televangelist scandal -- where many well-known Christian leaders and preachers -- people who were on radio and television and who were seen publicly declaring their faith and calling for people to turn to Christ -- were publicly disgraced as they succumbed to the parasites of temptation and sin in their personal lives

    -- and more recently, we had the story of Ted Haggard -- the charismatic leader of New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the former president of the National Association of Evangelicals -- it was widely assumed that Reverend Haggard would assume the role of the nation's evangelical leadership when Billy Graham died

    -- but, as Paul wrote here, "if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall"

    -- and Haggard fell when his struggles with drug use and homosexuality became known to the public and to the leaders of his church

    -- in his letter of resignation from New Life Church, Haggard wrote, "I am so sorry for the circumstances that have caused shame and embarrassment for all of you.... The fact is I am guilty of sexual immorality, and I take responsibility for the entire problem. I am a deceiver and a liar. There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I've been warring against it all of my adult life.... The accusations that have been leveled against me are not all true, but enough of them are true that I have been appropriately and lovingly removed from ministry."

    -- parasites in the life of a strong follower of Christ -- "if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall"

 

    -- verse 13

 

13. No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

 

-- finally, encouragement for the weak -- encouragement for us -- Paul tells us, "Don't be surprised when you're tempted -- don't be surprised when the parasites come to call -- but take heart -- you're not alone -- no matter what parasite it is -- no matter what temptation is luring you -- know that you are not alone -- others have had the same temptation in their lives -- and others have survived the test

    -- God is faithful -- He knows what you are capable of withstanding -- and He won't let you be hit with things that you cannot bear -- with temptations that you can't overcome -- when you are tempted, God will provide a way out so that you can stand up under it"

    -- Paul understood the dangers of parasites -- Paul knew too well how they could come into a Christian's life and threaten their vitality -- but Paul also knew that the power of God working through a person could overcome any tests or trials or temptations that might come their way

 

III. Overcoming Temptation

    -- The greatest problem facing human beings today is temptation -- Let me say that again: The greatest problem facing human beings today isn't famine or wars or natural disasters -- Those are problems and they require lots of attention -- But our biggest problem isn't a circumstance, it's a state of the heart issue -- It's temptation -- If we weren't tempted, it would be very hard to get into trouble -- If we didn't get into trouble, we wouldn't start wars or starve our neighbors, or take things that aren't ours -- we wouldn't hurt the people we love, or hurt ourselves the way we so often do -- The greatest challenge facing humanity is temptation.

 

    -- It's a global challenge -- but, it's also a personal challenge -- in this passage, Paul has been warning us to avoid the example of the Israelites -- to not get discouraged when we get tempted because temptation comes to all -- but to be prepared to overcome temptation when it comes our way

    -- the question, then, is how?

    -- well, first, we need to hold on a couple of truths that we learn in verse 13

    -- Number 1 -- every temptation you face has been faced by others -- it involves either lust of the eyes -- lust of the flesh -- or the pride of life -- and no matter what it is, someone else has been there -- we are not alone in our struggles

    -- Number 2 -- we have never been tempted by something we did not have the power to resist -- it may seem like it at the time, but that's just a lie from the evil one -- it's just Satan trying to lower your resolve and your resistance so you just give up and give in -- which brings us to #3

    -- God always provides a way out of every temptation -- your job is to look for the way out and take it the minute you find it

    -- think back to the Israelites coming out of Egypt -- Pharaoh and his army had them pinned against the Red Sea -- there was no escape -- there was no hope -- but God made a way out -- God parted the Red Sea and the Israelites went out the back door

    -- it's the same way with temptation -- God always has a way for you to get out of it

 

    -- James 1:14-15 tells us that we are tempted when we are enticed by our own evil desire -- we start thinking about it -- dwelling on it -- and, if we keep on, we give in to it -- desire gives birth to sin -- and sin eventually leads to death

    -- the key, then, to keeping the parasites of temptation away from us happens first in our minds when the desire comes on us and then later in our actions

 

    -- real quick, I want to give you a plan that you can follow to break free from temptation -- a plan that will help purge your life of the parasites when they come trying to attack you -- I'm going to give you a copy of these, so you don't have to write them down unless you just want to

 

    -- first, pray that God will keep you from temptation -- Jesus taught us this in the Lord's prayer -- we prayed this together this morning -- "lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil"

 

    -- second, make a covenant with yourself -- remember last week we talked about covenants -- binding promises that we make and keep -- you know the areas that you struggle with -- make a covenant to stay away from places where those temptations are likely to occur

    -- for example, if you struggle with gambling and with playing the lottery, then don't go to stores that sell lottery tickets -- if you struggle with internet pornography, don't get on the internet without an internet filter or without someone else being present

    -- if you struggle in an area, it is foolish to put yourself in the place where these temptations are going to occur -- I once counseled a guy who was an alcoholic -- who was struggling with drinking and getting drunk -- do you know where he got a job? -- a package store that sold beer and whiskey -- that's not a good place for someone who's struggling with alcoholism to work

 

    -- next, look for a way out -- God tells us here that He will always make a way of escape for us -- but we've got to look for it -- we've got to get our focus off the temptation and make the conscious decision to look for God's plan of escape -- one way to do this is to divert your thoughts -- 2 Cor 10:5 says "we take every thought captive to the will of Christ" -- in other words, when that desire comes on you -- when that temptation comes knocking on the door of your mind -- let Jesus answer the door and you think about something else

    -- it doesn't even have to be spiritual -- divert your thoughts by concentrating on things like the weather or the economy or politics or your family -- the point is, divert your mind and do whatever you need to do to get your mind off the temptation that is threatening you

 

    -- fourth, remove yourself from the situation -- Paul put it very simply to a young man facing temptation -- in 2 Tim 2:22, he told Timothy, "Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace"

    -- that's exactly what the Bible says Joseph did in the Book of Genesis when Potiphar's wife tried to seduce him -- he fled the scene, leaving his cloak behind -- fleeing puts distance between you and sin and gets your mind off the temptation

 

    -- but, what if you do fall -- what if you do fail? -- we all do -- 1 John 1:10 says that we all sin and that if we say we don't sin, we're liars -- so when you do fall and fail -- when your thoughts turn into evil desires that are not of God -- and when your desires give birth to sin -- what do you do?

    -- I call it, "Lessons Learned" -- look back at the situation and find out what went wrong -- where did you go wrong -- did you think too much about something -- did you not get your mind off of it -- did you go to a place you shouldn't have?

    -- if you can't figure it out, maybe you need to sit down with m Christian brother or sister and ask them for insight -- and once you know what you did wrong, come up with a game plan -- with a plan of doing better the next time -- learn from your mistake and grow as a result of it

 

    -- finally, when you do sin, ask God to forgive you -- ask Him to cleanse you from your sin and to give you a "do-over" -- did you ever do that as kids? -- when you messed up in a game you asked for a "do-over?" -- God lets you do that, too

    -- 1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just ans will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness"

    -- parasites are everywhere -- temptations come almost every minute of every day -- and you're going to occasionally fall and fail and sin against God -- but don't give up at that point -- just pick yourself up -- let God wipe you off -- and get back in the game again

 

IV. Closing

 

    -- Jennifer Dion who wrote the small group lessons that go along with this Fireproof outreach tells a funny story about something that happened to her in a restaurant a few years ago

    -- she was there with her 3-year-old twin daughters -- one of the girls had struck up a conversation with a really nice guy who was probably in his 70's -- her daughter Jenna just started staring at the man very intently and finally announced, "You have hair in your nose!" -- Jennifer immediately apologized and told her daughter, "Jenna, we don't say things like that" -- to which Jenna responded, "But it's true -- look!"

    -- sometimes the truth is hard and we don't want to talk about it -- and that's exactly the reason why we've got problems with parasites in our churches and in our homes and in our lives

    -- ignoring parasites won't make them go away -- leaving them untreated won't make them any better -- the answer is admitting they're there and then doing something about it

    -- this week, our Love Dare Challenge is going to bring us face-to-face with the parasites in our lives -- maybe we don't have to do something as drastic as beating up our computers with a baseball bat like Caleb did in the movie -- but we have to do something

    -- as I close in prayer, I want to invite you to think about any areas that you may struggle within your lives -- temptations -- sins -- parasites -- things that are affecting your relationships with God and with other people -- and as I close, offer them up to God -- let Him take them from you as you seek to live a life from now on that is parasite-free -- LET US PRAY

SERMON: 40 Days of Love: The Real “F” Word -- Forgiveness

40 DAYS OF LOVE SERMON SERIES:

THE REAL "F" WORD -- "FORGIVENESS"

8 March 2009

 

 

I. Introduction

    -- turn in Bibles to 1 Corinthians 13

 

4. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

5. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

6. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

7. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8. Love never fails.

 

    -- this morning, we are continuing in our series on the 40 Days of Love based on this passage from 1 Corinthians 13 -- so far, we have talked about love being what matters most in life -- about love being demonstrated through patience and kindness -- and about speaking the truth in love to speak life into someone's walk with Jesus

    -- this morning, we are going to focus on verse 5 in this passage -- "Love is not rude -- it is not self-seeking -- it is not easily angered -- it keeps no record of wrongs"

    -- I've borrowed the title of my message -- The Real "F" Word -- from a similar sermon by Rev. Ed Young from Dallas, TX -- although it's not a dirty word -- it's not a cuss word -- sometimes in the church and in our lives, we treat the word "forgiveness" as something that should not be said -- as something that should not be spoken or talked about

    -- but as we move deeper and deeper into the love relationship that Jesus calls us to, we run face to face with this word and we are forced to deal with others in our lives who have wronged us in some way or the other -- the ultimate test of love is how we respond in these situations -- the ultimate test of love is how we respond when somebody hurts us

    -- the Bible tells us that the only way we should respond -- the only way we can respond -- the only way we can grow in grace and continue down the path to spiritual maturity and deeper love with Christ -- is through forgiving others in our hearts for what they have done to us

 

II. What is forgiveness and why should we forgive?

    -- so, this morning, as we continue in our series on the 40 Days of Love, my goal is to encourage you to examine your relationships with others and to challenge you to forgive those who have wronged you and have hurt you in the past

    -- before we can do that -- before we can come to the point where we can forgive someone who has hurt us and wronged us -- we are going to need a better understanding of what forgiveness is -- why we should forgive -- and how we can begin the process of forgiving them

 

    -- so, what is forgiveness and why should we forgive? -- I think that a lot of us have a misconception about what forgiveness is and this misconception keeps us from forgiving others in our lives

    -- typically, when we think of forgiveness, we think of restoration -- we think that forgiveness means telling a person that all is forgotten -- that everything is o.k. -- and then welcoming that person back into our lives -- restoring the relationship that once existed

    -- several years ago at a Promise Keeper's Event, Gary Rosenberg told the story of a couple that came to him for counseling -- the couple had been happily married for years and had two little children -- one day, the father went into the baby's room to get diapers from the closet, and discovered a stack of love letters written to his wife -- the only problem was that he did not write these love letters -- he went downstairs and found his wife and said two words to her, "I know." -- immediately, she turned white as a ghost and said how sorry she was -- that it was a mistake and that it wouldn't happen again and begged her husband to forgive her and not to leave her

    -- now, in our typical view of what forgiveness is, the husband, being a good Christian man -- would turn to her and say, "I forgive you" and would just forget about her adultery and they would act like nothing ever happened -- they'd just go about their days living happily ever after

 

    -- but in reality, we know that this is not what happens -- the husband in this case was deeply wounded by his wife -- she had sinned against him -- she had violated his trust -- there was a deep hurt in his heart that needed to be repaired -- and there was no way that he could simply forget what had happened and go on with life as it was

    -- that is not what forgiveness is -- this morning, when we prayed the Lord's Prayer, we prayed for God to forgive us for our trespasses as we forgave others -- that doesn't mean that when we are wronged, we just call up the other person and say "You're forgiven" and forget about the hurt and go on with our life as if nothing happened

    -- forgiveness, first and foremost, is not about restoring a relationship -- restoration and reunion may eventually come through forgiveness -- but that is not the primary purpose of forgiveness

 

    -- I want you to listen to this -- I want you to understand this -- the primary purpose of forgiving -- the reason God calls us to forgive others -- is for us -- the primary purpose of forgiveness is to heal the hurts and the scars in our heart that were caused when someone that we trusted trespassed against us and sinned against us and wronged us

    -- forgiveness is about healing the hurts within us -- forgiveness always begins on the inside

    -- true forgiveness is one-sided -- it doesn't even involve the other person -- true forgiveness occurs when you make the choice to heal the hurt that is within you -- when you decide to let go of the hurt and the anger and the bitterness inside and let God heal you from the inside out

    -- you can forgive someone and never, ever restore your relationship with them or even let them know that you have forgiven them -- forgiveness is simply a matter of the heart

 

    -- along those same lines, forgiveness is not minimizing the seriousness of the offense     -- it's not sweeping wrongs under the rug -- it's not just forgetting what has happened -- when there's a need for forgiveness, it's because we have been wronged -- we have been hurt -- our trust has been broken -- forgiveness is God's way of healing that hurt within us

    -- it is not something that we do for others -- it is something that we do for ourselves -- forgiveness is something that happens within us -- within our hearts -- and it doesn't have to involve anyone else

    -- forgiveness is about getting rid of the bitterness and hatred and anger that is eating away at our souls -- it is about healing our own hearts and letting go of the hurts within us so that we might grow in Christ's love -- forgiveness, at its core, is about us and our relationship with God and doesn't depend on what the other person does or doesn't do

 

    -- let me show you an example -- if you would, turn with me over to Genesis 37 and let's look real quick at the story of Joseph

 

1. Jacob lived in the land where his father had stayed, the land of Canaan.

2. This is the account of Jacob. Joseph, a young man of seventeen, was tending the flocks with his brothers, the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives, and he brought their father a bad report about them.

3. Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made a richly ornamented robe for him.

4. When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him.

5. Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more.

 

    -- Joseph's brothers hated him -- they hated him with a passion -- they didn't like the fact that their father loved him more than them -- and they certainly didn't like the fact that he had apparently been blessed by God and had been placed over them -- and, to top it all off, they certainly didn't like the fact that Joseph was a tattle-tale and had told his father that they weren't doing their job when they were supposed to be tending the flocks

    -- Joseph's brothers hated him and didn't want anything to do with him -- and things only got worse from that point -- we read here that one day after Joseph had tattled on his brothers, Jacob sent him to check up on them while they were with the family's flocks near Dothan

    -- look down at verse 18

 

18. But they saw him in the distance, and before he reached them, they plotted to kill him.

19. "Here comes that dreamer!" they said to each other.

20. "Come now, let's kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we'll see what comes of his dreams."

    -- sibling rivalry is one thing -- but Joseph's brother hated him so much that they wanted to kill him -- when they saw him come walking up wearing his coat of many colors, they just got all angry again and decided to kill him and throw him in a cistern and to claim that wild animals had eaten him -- luckily for Joseph, Reuben managed to keep the others from killing him and they just threw him into a cistern alive, but that was just the beginning of the problems for Joseph

    -- verse 26

 

26. Judah said to his brothers, "What will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood?

27. Come, let's sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him; after all, he is our brother, our own flesh and blood." His brothers agreed.

28. So when the Midianite merchants came by, his brothers pulled Joseph up out of the cistern and sold him for twenty shekels of silver to the Ishmaelites, who took him to Egypt.

 

-- after Reuben left, the brothers talked about what to do with Joseph -- rather than killing him, they decided to sell him as a slave to the Ishmaelites, who eventually carried him into Egypt

    -- so here's Joseph, the favorite son of his father -- blessed by God -- called to be the leader of his family -- and now he's sold into slavery and carried into Egypt, where the Ishmaelites sell him to Potiphar, one of Pharoah's captains

    -- real quick, I'm going to sum up Joseph's life from this point -- I'm going to cover about 7 chapters in the Bible, so hang on

    -- things were going as good as they could for Joseph at Potiphar's house, until he had a run in with Potiphar's wife, who tried to seduce him -- he ended up being falsely accused of sexual assault and thrown into prison

    -- in prison, Joseph did the best he could -- with God's help, he interpreted the dreams of a couple of his fellow prisoners, Pharoah's baker and the cupbearer -- when he discovered that the cupbearer would be restored to his former position, Joseph asked the cupbearer to remember him and plead his case before Pharoah, but the cupbearer forget for two whole years

    -- so, there's Joseph, sold as a slave in Egypt -- falsely accused and thrown into prison -- all because of his brothers and their hatred of him -- Joseph really hadn't done anything to them, but they had intentionally caused him nothing but hurt in his life -- they had wronged him -- they had broken trust with him -- and while they were still living in the land of Canaan, Joseph was living in prison

    -- if there's anyone you would expect to be bitter, it would be Joseph -- if there's anyone you would expect to see have difficulty forgiving, it would be Joseph -- he could have laid there in that prison and let the wrongs that had been done against him eat at his heart -- he could have let the anger and the bitterness and the wrongness of it all continue to grow, until it turned his heart into something that was as dark and twisted as his brother's hearts

    -- but Joseph didn't do that -- he refused to stoop to their level -- even though his brothers didn't come to him and beg forgiveness for what they had done, at some point, he still forgave them -- even though his brothers weren't there with him, he forgave them from his heart -- and God rewarded his demonstration of love and forgiveness

    -- flip over to Genesis 45

 

1. Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, "Have everyone leave my presence!" So there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers.

2. And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him, and Pharaoh's household heard about it.

3. Joseph said to his brothers, "I am Joseph! Is my father still living?" But his brothers were not able to answer him, because they were terrified at his presence.

4. Then Joseph said to his brothers, "Come close to me." When they had done so, he said, "I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt!

5. And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you.

 

    -- eventually, Joseph was taken out of prison and given a position at the right hand of Pharoah -- eventually, he reconciled with his brothers -- but he was only able to do so because he had already forgiven them in his heart -- Joseph had no way of knowing his brothers would come from Canaan to Egypt seeking food -- but because Joseph walked with God, he knew that unforgiveness would have been like a cancer -- eating away at his soul, damaging his relationship with God, and placing him in bondage to his brothers forever -- for those reasons, Joseph had sought healing years before by forgiving his brothers for what they had done to him

 

III. How do we forgive?

    -- so, how do we forgive? -- how do we follow Joseph's footsteps and forgive those who have wronged us

 

    -- in his book, "The Art of Forgiving," Lewis Smedes outlines three steps to forgiveness that we follow when we truly seek healing in our life

    -- first, we begin the process of forgiving when we start separating the person who wronged us from the wrong that they did to us -- when someone wrongs us, in our minds, they become the wrong that they did to us -- we say things like, "he is nothing but a cheat -- he is nothing but a liar" -- we look at them and all we see is the sin

    -- but, as Smedes points out, when we begin the miracle of healing, we begin to see our enemy through a cleaner lens, less smudged by hate -- we begin to see them as a person who did something wrong -- not as wrong itself

    -- when God forgave us, the first thing He did was to separate us from our sin -- we were not the problem -- it was the sin that was the problem and that needed to be dealt with -- so God provided a way to cover our sins -- so, when God sees us, He doesn't see the sin any longer -- He sees the person underneath the sin, cleansed through the blood of Christ

    -- the first step to forgiveness, then, is continuing to hate the sin but not the person who committed the sin against you

 

    -- the second step to forgiveness is to surrender our right to get even -- when we are first wronged -- when we are first hurt -- we want to get even -- we want the other person to suffer like we have suffered and to know that they are suffering because of what they did to us -- we call this "vengeance"

    -- when you start on the road to forgiveness, you are releasing your right to vengeance -- to hurting the other person unjustly -- keep in mind, though, that there is a difference between vengeance and justice -- vengeance is our pleasure of seeing someone who hurt us get hurt back -- justice is making sure that someone pays a fair penalty for wronging another -- vengeance is personal satisfaction -- justice is moral accountability

    -- forgiveness does not do away with justice -- someone who wronged you may have to pay for the wrong that they have done -- but, forgiveness does mean that you don't desire them to be hurt in an unjust way simply as revenge for what they did to you

 

    -- the final step to forgiveness is when you revise your feelings towards the person that wronged you -- you no longer hate them for who they are and you even can hope that God's grace might fall into their lives -- this does not excuse the wrong that they have done -- it does not mean that we are going to tolerate them trespassing against us again and it does not mean that we are going to restore our relationship with them

    -- but it means that you no longer have a desire for them to suffer because of what they have done to you -- and it means that if God was to reach out and touch them and change their lives for the better, that you would be happy to see that happen

    -- when you have reached this stage of forgiveness, you can know for sure that the hatred and the bitterness are now removed from your life and that your heart has been healed and restored by the miraculous power of forgiveness

 

IV. Closing

    -- forgiveness is a gift from God -- through Christ, God forgave us for the sins that we committed -- He refused to pour out His vengeance and wrath on us but offered His very Son as a sacrifice to ensure that justice was done -- and, once justice was served, God poured out His blessings on us -- on the very people that once had trespassed against Him

    -- in the same way, God calls for us to forgive others that have trespassed against us -- He knows that our hearts have been hurt and damaged by others -- and He knows that these wounded hearts can keep us from loving Him and loving others as He wants

    -- so, He encourages us to offer forgiveness to others in our hearts -- so that in the process of forgiveness we might find healing from the hatred and bitterness and resentment that we have built up in our lives

 

    -- when I went to my first Kairos -- the prison ministry similar to the Walk to Emmaus -- I saw the power of forgiveness in the life of another person -- those men in that place had deeply wounded hearts -- they were not only held in physical bars in that place, but they were bound up with spiritual bars of hatred and resentment and unforgiveness to others in their lives

    -- a lot of them were in prison because of the hurts that others had inflicted upon them -- their wives -- their fathers -- their mothers -- friends -- others they knew

    -- as part of the weekend, we led them through the process of forgiveness and helped them to release the hurts in their hearts through the power of Christ

    -- and I watched as those men wept with joy for the first time in their lives -- as they forgave those who hurt them and as they were freed to allow the blessing and salvation of God into their hearts -- relationships may not have been restored that weekend, but lives were changed through the healing power of forgiveness

    -- there is power in forgiveness -- and that is why Jesus commands us to pray daily, "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us"

 

    -- so how do we put this into practice -- this week, I want you to spend some time in prayer asking the question, "Who do I need to forgive?" -- and when you've been given an answer by God, then I want you to pray for that person and I want you to consider offering them forgiveness from your heart

    -- this doesn't mean you'll call them up or even reach out to them -- you may never talk to that person again -- beginning the process of forgiveness means that there, in the quiet of your heart and in the presence of God, you'll choose to let go of the hurt so that your heart might be healed -- so that your love for God and for others might grow

    -- in your handout, I've given you a prayer that you can use as you begin this process

 

    -- so, as I close, I want to invite you to search your hearts and begin the process of forgiving those who have wronged you in the past -- not for their sake -- but for the healing that God offers you and so that you can continue to walk the path of love with Christ

    -- let us pray