THE WISDOM OF A FATHER
15 June 2008
I. Introduction
-- turn in Bibles to Proverbs 4
1. Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.
2. I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching.
3. When I was a boy in my father's house, still tender, and an only child of my mother,
4. he taught me and said, "Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live.
5. Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them.
6. Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you.
7. Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.
8. Esteem her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you.
9. She will set a garland of grace on your head and present you with a crown of splendor."
-- as I turned my attention to preparing a message for this Father's Day, I spent some time reflecting on what a father does -- and it occurred to me that one of the main things that a father does is to pass on his legacy to the next generation
-- in fact, that's exactly what the Hebrew view of a father was in the Old Testament -- In those days, the father was the head of the house -- he was the dominant family member -- and he and his wife were to be honored and respected by all in their household -- their children -- their servants -- their guests
-- the father was responsible for the well-being of the family unit and for its discipline -- he provided for them -- he kept them safe -- he protected them
-- but the primary goal of a father in the Old Testament days was to pass on a legacy -- to bring up children who would choose to follow the holy life that the Israelites were called to by God -- in other words, the father was to be the family priest and the teacher of the faith -- he was to pass on his way of life to the next generation through intentionally sharing his wisdom, his faith, and his understanding of life with his children -- just like fathers are supposed to do today
-- that is why fathers are always telling us stuff -- that's why they are always sharing their wisdom and knowledge with us -- whether they realize it or not, they are training us in the way of life -- they are teaching us -- passing on to us all that they have learned so that we might learn from and choose to follow their example
-- now, with all this wisdom being passed on from fathers to their sons and daughters, there are a few things that you're never, ever going to hear a father say -- I want to share with you a list that I got from the internet of 10 of these things that you will never hear a father say -- we're going to do these like David Letterman does on the Late Show -- we'll start with number 10 and work our way to number 1
-- Number 10 -- things you'll never hear a father say -- "Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions."
-- Number 9 -- "You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?"
-- Number 8 -- "I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude ... I like that -- you should do it, too"
-- Number 7 -- things you'll never hear a father say -- "Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY."
-- Number 6. -- "What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?"
-- Number 5 -- "Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend ... you might want to consider throwing a party -- and don't forget the keg"
-- Number 4 -- "Well, I just don't know what's wrong with your car -- Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies -- you know -- that makes it run or something -- Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks"
-- Number 3 -- "I'm glad you want to get a tattoo -- let's go down to the mall and both get one"
-- Number 2 -- "Why do you wanna go and get a job? I make plenty of money for you to spend."
-- and the Number 1 you'll never hear a father say -- "Father's Day? -- Oh, yeah, I'd worry about it -- it's a big deal"
-- while these may be things that fathers will never say to their children, there are things we need to be saying to our children and our grandchildren -- there are timeless truths that they need to learn from us -- truths that they need to see modeled in our lives
-- and it is our responsibility -- as fathers and grandfathers -- to make sure that we pass on to our children a Godly heritage -- if we fail to do so, we may be passing on a legacy to our descendants that will affect them negatively for generations
-- consider the divergent story of two of the founding families in our country -- the Edwards and the Jukes -- if you compare the descendants from these two families, you see an entirely different picture
-- the Edwards family was a family who revered and respected God -- the men intentionally instructed their sons and daughters in Godly living -- in following the faith of their fathers -- and in living life for God rather than for themselves
-- Jonathan Edwards, the renowned preacher known as America's first great theologian, was born in the third generation of the Edwards family in America -- of the 929 of his descendants whose lives have been followed in history, 430 became preachers -- 86 were university professors -- 13 were university presidents -- 75 authored books -- 5 were elected to the U.S. Congress -- 2 were in the U.S. Senate -- and one was vice-president of the United States
-- the Jukes family, on the other hand, was descended from an immoral man who married a licentious woman -- passing on a Godly heritage was the farthest thing from their mind
-- of the 1,026 descendants of Jukes, 130 were convicted criminals --310 were professional paupers -- 400 were seriously injured or physically degenerated due to their life-styles -- 60 were habitual thieves and pickpockets -- 17 were murderers -- and only 20 of the Jukes descendants ever learned a trade, with half of them learning their trades in jail
-- two families -- two opportunities to pass on a legacy to their children and their grandchildren and their descendants -- but vastly different outcomes
-- while the Edwards family were significant contributors to the success of our country, the Jukes family spent a combined total of 1300 years behind bars and cost the state of New York nearly $3 million in legal fees and jail care
-- no matter where you are in your stage of life -- whether a new father -- or an empty nester -- or a grandfather with many children -- the opportunity to pass on a Godly legacy is still within your grasp
-- it is your God-given responsibility to pass on to your children and your grandchildren and your great-grandchildren your wisdom, your faith, and your understanding of what it means to follow Godly lives in this world
II. Scripture Lesson -- Proverbs 4
-- so, what are the things we should be passing on to our children? -- what are the lessons that we need to be sharing with them so that they will choose right and not wrong in their own lives?
-- this proverb from Solomon gives us a good guideline to follow as we seek to pass on a Godly legacy to our children
-- if you would, look with me again at verse 1
1. Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.
2. I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching.
-- these verses make the case that we must be intentional about teaching our children how to live -- Solomon is not waiting for his sons to come to him to be taught -- he is going to where they are and he's telling them to pay attention -- to listen to him -- to gain understanding in what it means to live a Godly lifestyle
-- that means that we have to get our kid's attentions -- we have to go where they are -- we have to be in their lives -- we have to get between them and the t.v. -- between them and their video games -- between them and the internet -- we need to be the ones teaching them how to live -- not the culture around us
-- if your kids know more about Miley Cyrus, Zak Efron, and Paris Hilton than they do you and what you believe, then you are failing in your God-given responsibility to pass on your heritage and you need to get their attention
-- but keep in mind that it is not enough to just tell our children how to live -- we have to show them how to live with our lives -- the old saying, "do as I say and not as I do," does not work -- our children follow our example
-- remember the song, "Cat's in the Cradle," by Harry Chapin? -- his child kept telling him, "I'm going to be like you, Dad, You know I'm going to be like you" -- and, at the end, when the father was on the phone with his adult son trying to get him to come home, he realized that he had missed his opportunity and he didn't even know who his son was anymore -- and as he hung up the phone, he thought, "He'd grown up just like me -- My boy was just like me"
-- if we live Godly lives, the odds are that they will, too -- if we show them through our actions that church is not important -- that living a moral life is not important -- that it's o.k. to cheat on your taxes -- to tell little white lies -- to cuss or to drink or to smoke -- then they're going to do it, too, no matter what we tell them
-- our words have to be backed up by our actions -- and if that means you need to change your life in order to pass on a Godly heritage to your children, then that is what you need to do
-- verse 3
3. When I was a boy in my father's house, still tender, and an only child of my mother,
4. he taught me and said, "Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live.
5. Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them.
6. Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you.
7. Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.
8. Esteem her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you.
9. She will set a garland of grace on your head and present you with a crown of splendor."
-- Solomon tells us that one of the most important things we can do as parents is to pass on our wisdom to our children
-- what is wisdom and how does it differ from knowledge?
-- knowledge is gathering information -- it is learning about something -- all of us are in the business of gaining knowledge -- kids in school are learning about the basics of science and math and English -- if you work outside the home, you had to learn the basics of your job -- you had to learn the skills required to work in your profession -- if you drive, you had to learn how to drive -- knowledge is nothing more than knowing something about a subject
-- we have whole government agencies that do nothing but gain information -- that do nothing but seek knowledge about other countries -- about other militaries -- about terrorist activity -- they are knowledgeable about these subjects
-- in the same way, we are supposed to be knowledgeable about spiritual things -- we are supposed to know the basics of our faith -- we are supposed to know the Bible -- to know how to pray -- to know what it means to be a Christian -- that is what knowledge is
-- wisdom, on the other hand, means that you take the knowledge you have and you apply it to life -- I have a niece who just got her driver's license -- she has passed her test -- she knows how to drive -- she has knowledge -- but she hasn't learned wisdom yet -- she hasn't applied her knowledge to real life experiences -- she doesn't know how to drive at night in a storm, because she's never done it -- she doesn't know how to drive on ice or snow, because she's never done it -- that can only come about through wisdom -- either her wisdom as she applies her knowledge of driving to real world conditions -- or the wisdom of another passing on how to drive in these situation
-- in the spiritual realm, a person who is wise is both knowledgeable about the things of God and experienced in following God's way -- they know how to take information about God and about what He is doing in our our lives and in our world and apply it in their own lives and in the lives of those around them
-- in the Wisdom literature of the Bible -- books like Proverbs, Job, and Ecclesiastes -- being wise means that you are skilled in Godly living -- having God's wisdom means having the ability to cope with life in a God-honoring way -- Crawford H. Toy wrote, "Wisdom is the knowledge of right living in the highest sense"
-- we are called to pass on to our children our spiritual wisdom -- the lessons we have learned in our walk with the Lord -- this implies that we have lessons to pass on -- if we have never walked with the Lord in our own right, we can't pass on our wisdom in walking in the paths of righteousness to our kids or our grandkids
-- in an article in Circuit Rider Magazine, William Obalil made the point that most of us live lives of "functional atheism" -- we may go to church -- we may pray and memorize Scriptures -- we may know a lot about God -- but we don't live like we know God when we're outside the walls of our churches during the week
-- Obalil writes, "Much of the time we operate as if God were not an active factor, let alone the decisive factor, in our decision-making" -- in other words, the wisdom of God is not in our hearts and we are not living it in our daily lives, so how can we pass it on to our children and our grandchildren
-- Solomon points out here that these commands and the wisdom of living these commands out has to be something in our heart -- it has to be something that we make a part of us -- it has to be within us -- if it is going to make a difference in our external lives
-- we have to have knowledge and we have to have faith -- we have to trust in the God that we know and we have to apply His messages and His commands to our daily lives -- and we have to pass this on to our children
-- if we do that, Solomon says, then we will truly live lives of importance and honor and righteousness -- we will see a legacy of Godly heritage in our own families like that of the Edwards family -- we will live to see our sons and daughters -- our grandsons and granddaughters -- following in our footsteps of faith and life and love
-- verse 10
10. Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many.
11. I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths.
12. When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble.
13. Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.
14. Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evil men.
15. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way.
16. For they cannot sleep till they do evil; they are robbed of slumber till they make someone fall.
17. They eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence.
18. The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
19. But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble.
-- one of the most important things that we can pass on to our children is the knowledge that there is a right way and a wrong way -- a right path and a wrong path
-- this world today tells our children that truth is relative -- that truth depends on who you are -- that there is no absolute right or wrong -- and that each person should choose the path that makes them happy
-- Solomon tells us here something different -- he says that there is a path of wickedness -- a path that leads to violence and destruction -- and he warns his sons not to take it
-- he tells them to choose their friends wisely -- because the wrong friends will lead them down the wrong path -- and before they know it, they will be too far gone to come back
-- on the other hand, Solomon tells them that there is a path of righteousness -- a path of fulfillment -- a path shining with the light of the truth of the Lord
-- we need to pass on to our children our knowledge, our wisdom, and we need to encourage them to use their knowledge and wisdom to choose life and to choose the right path over the path of wickedness and evil
-- verse 20
20. My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words.
21. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart;
22. for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body.
23. Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
-- once again, Solomon expresses the importance of putting these teachings in your heart -- Jesus said that what comes out of a person's heart is what condemned him -- and Solomon says the same thing right here
-- the is the wellspring of our life -- if our hearts are filled with good things -- with righteous things -- with the things of God -- then these will well up out of the depths of our soul and color our whole lives
-- on the other hand, if our hearts are filled with evil and with wickedness -- then that is what will come up -- that is what we will share
-- Solomon tells his sons that they should focus on changing their heart and not just their external behavior -- every election year, we see politicians changing on the outside to become what the public wants -- but they haven't really changed, because changes in character and virtue must come from within -- it must come from the heart -- and before long, the heart of these politicians betrays them as their true character comes out
-- verse 24
24. Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
25. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.
26. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm.
27. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.
-- Solomon ends his instructions by sharing definite things his children should do -- their focus should be on the righteousness of God -- they should avoid coarse language -- they should avoid speech which corrupts their heart
-- as they walk their path, they shouldn't be drawn away by the wiles of this world -- they need to keep their focus on their path -- their focus on God -- their focus on their goal
-- never swerving -- never veering after what the world promises -- but staying true to the wisdom they have gained through Godly living and through the experiences of their elders
III. Closing
-- the call for us today is to pass on our heritage -- to pass on a legacy -- to our children
-- don't just teach your children how to add and subtract and multiply -- don't just teach them how to do the practical things of life, such as shop and change a tire and make it through a work day
-- teach them what it means to be a Godly man or woman -- a person who knows and obeys the King -- and who makes a difference in this world for eternity -- be intentional in your teaching -- share with them your wisdom -- model for them what a Godly man or a Godly woman looks like -- show them integrity and character and virtue in your own life -- and leave a legacy for the generations to come
-- let us pray
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