WHERE I'VE BEEN

 For the handful of folks who occasionally peruse this blog, you probably have noticed that I have not posted in a while, so I wanted to share why this has happened:

First, I transitioned once again out of the United Methodist Church.  I served as a local pastor in the UMC for ten years, and then separated because I could not minister as God was leading within the constraints of the church and because I felt the denomination was straying from the true biblical doctrines on which it was founded.  I ended up leading a church called Koinonia Church (Greek for "fellowship") for over 10 years, but agreed to go back to the pulpit at Naylor UMC following the untimely and tragic passing of their pastor.  It was to be a temporary pulpit fill position until another UMC-affiliated pastor could be appointed, but it turned into a 3-1/2 year ministry.  While I loved my time with the people at Naylor, my concerns with the denominational direction of the UMC and the overwhelming administrative bureaucracy of the UMC caused me to separate once again.  I officially stepped down from the pastorate at Naylor in June of this year.  Originally, I had planned on resurrecting the Koinonia Church fellowship, but with the increasing covid outbreak in our area, we have delayed restarting the church for safety purposes, which brings me to the second reason why I have been silent lately.

Secondly, my heart has been broken over the response by the church to the covid pandemic in the U.S.  For a people called by Christ to serve others in His name and to sacrifice self for Him and for our community, I have been disheartened by the actions of the majority of Christians I know.  Rather than being the people on the forefront in protecting others by wearing masks and social distancing and getting vaccinated, I have seen Christians speak with malice and hatred towards those who do so.  Rather than ministering and serving during this crisis, I have seen Christians complain about their "rights" being taken away because they were being asked to wear a mask, and I have seen Christians willfully defy medical advice and government requests for compliance, which has prolonged this pandemic and resulted in negative views of the church.  And when I have tried to encourage other Christians and churches to join together with a message of hope and safety during this time, I have been denigrated and ridiculed for not having faith.  As an introvert who tends to avoid conflict, this has caused me to be silent.

Third, my heart has been broken by the conflation of the church with the state (Christian nationalism), especially with the Trump-led Republican party.  Although I am politically and socially a conservative, those who are doing so have moved into areas that are not biblical and are endorsing actions and leaders that are not consistent with the Christian faith.  The exaltation of Donald Trump has reached almost idol-like proportion among many Christians I know, and any contrary support of reaching out to immigrants or the oppressed (i.e. migrants along the southern border and the Afghanistan people) is met with derision or hostility.  I have been astounded at how many close Christian friends have alleged that you cannot be a Christian unless you are a Republican who supports Trump, and if you differ from their political stances in any way, you are shunned (literally defriended by many on Facebook for speaking out against some of the recent Republican stances, especially on immigration and the pandemic).  Too many times breaking against the wall of Christian nationalism caused me to pull back into my shell and be quiet.

Finally, we have been walking through a season of trials in our family.  We have been dealing with mental illness concerns in my immediate family, as well as trying to take care of aging parents during this pandemic.  It has been difficult and it has been trying.  My wife and I have been like the walking dead, going to bed exhausted and getting up exhausted and going through the motions of each day just trying to make it through.  And dealing with the chaos and unpredictable trials of ER visits, hospitalizations, financial strains, etc.  As we call it...life.  Certainly not trials on the scale of our Christian brethren in persecuted countries, but trying and time-consuming, none-the-less.

So, to the few who did read this blog, I apologize for not posting.  I just haven't had the heart.  I've found myself withdrawing from public interaction because of covid and withdrawing from religious participation, because of both covid and the rampant Christian nationalism.  I've found myself just spending the evening watching meaningless television shows as a means to escape the realities of life going on around me.  My spiritual life and my ministry has been affected greatly because of this since 2020.  

But I've been thinking about this a lot lately.  I was challenged on another site to be the voice that is missing.  I am not sure that is my calling, but I do recognize that my silence is not what God wants.  He has never called us to be passive.  He has not called us to withdraw from our culture, but to participate in the culture as strangers in a foreign land, as His ambassadors to a world heading away from Him.  I'm going to try to be more like Paul and Elijah than Timothy in this regard.

I'm going to try to do better.  I'm going to try to post more, with "try" as the definitive word in that sentence.  Sometimes life just gets the best of you, and you can't find the time to speak as you should.

I'm going to begin by posting the remaining sermons from Naylor UMC that never made it online.  The Bible says that God's word does not return void, but accomplishes the purpose for which it was put out.  Perhaps someone online will find value from these messages, despite the failings of the messenger.

And, as time permits, I am going to try to post my thoughts on current events and the direction of the culture and the church.  These will be my thoughts.  You don't have to agree.  But I think its time to speak again, even if it is as a lone voice in the wilderness.