What to do?

What do you do when you are confronted with someone who comes up to you asking for money or help? Maybe someone comes up to you in a parking lot or at a rest area and ask for money for gas or food or any number of other reasons. What do you do? This is a question that I have pondered over time and time again. Are these people really in need, or are they merely trying to take advantage of nice people?

Over the years, I have come to this conclusion and plan of action. First, I try to not give money to anyone. If they are hungry, I'll buy them a meal. If they need gas, I'll fill up their tank. I really hesitate to give anyone money, although I have done it on occasion. Secondly, I try to let them know that the only reason I am doing it is because of Jesus. I give them this in Jesus' name and then usually try to pray for them. Depends on the situation.

Right now, Stacie Orrico (concert coming up this Saturday at Wild Adventures) has a song out that speaks to the heart of this matter. She is approached by a man who wants a dollar from her, and she tells him to leave her alone. But then she has another thought, "what if he's really hungry? What would I do in this situation?" She then sings of encountering a muslim lady all dressed in black in the hot summer sun trying to speak, and she wonders if she is lost and if she needs help. The chorus of her song is, "a new point of view, a walk in your shoes -- I wish I could get inside your head." It would be easier to give if we knew people honestly needed help, but we can't ever know for sure.

I also ran across a post by Joshua Claybourn on his blog that was insightful and ran along the same lines. His story of a similar encounter is below.

"One Summer Day
It's fairly late in the afternoon, and I need to run an errand. I'm going to Wal-Mart, that retail bastion so loved by some and so hated by others. John Kerry calls it "disgraceful" and "unconscionable" while the VP has campaigned there. It sucks when even our shopping stores become politicized. Anyway, to get back on track, I'm headed to Wal-Mart on a simple errand. As I pull up a middle-aged man in average clothes appears to be approaching my car and asking me to stop. Surely, I think to myself, he's not trying to approach me as I'm driving to a parking space. I'm a bit startled, especially with the odd way he's trying to stop me. After all, I'm not really in the best part of town.

Being on "the bad side of town" is something that most of my friends will note when we're there, yet it hardly crosses my mind or matters to me. In fact, given the choice between plush Carmel or one of Indy's seedier shopping districts, I'd choose the latter. I like to smile at people, and the shoppers at supposedly "bad" sides of town often have this warm, genuine, no-strings-attached smile in return.

So back to this fellow approaching my moving car. I convince myself that he's actually motioning to someone behind me and I proceed to park the car. Almost immediately he's there, standing right next to my door and essentially blocking my departure from the car. "Sir," he says in a gasping voice, "I really hope I didn't scare you, but my wife and I are stranded and we're out of gas." Sure enough, there in his coarsened left hand is a three gallon empty gas container.

I've heard this story before; many times before in fact. Sometimes they have kids, sometimes just a wife, but the story always involves a sorry family that needs my money, immediately, or their stranded existence will forever be tied to the side of a road somewhere. I'm sounding cynical, but I don't usually react that way to people asking for me money. In particular a Bible verse has been weighing on my heart lately that reads like this: "So God created man in his own image. . . " (Gen. 1:27). That verse is monumental in significance. It's hard to ignore a fellow human when you view them as being made in the image of God. In a similar vein Jesus tells us, through a parable, "whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." (Mt. 25:40). There are countless more, and the message is clear. Besides, few feelings are better than helping another.

But, in the case at hand, am I helping him? Or is it just a ruse like so many others? After all, it's a story you'll often hear at interstate rest areas. And even if he is poor and needs the money for food, I don't want to reward dishonesty. As I always do, though, I reach for my pocket and pull out whatever cash I happen to be carrying. There's only a dollar. I almost always give money to those who ask, in spite of my own precarious financial situation, and I can't think of any reason to deviate from that policy now.

I look at the one dollar bill, and then into his eyes. I can see a flood of emotions there, and in my own mind I decide it's probably likely that he's lying to me. After all, I don't see his car or wife anywhere around. Still, I hand him the dollar and embrace him. That's right, I hug him. I say to myself that if he wants this dollar he'll have to hug me for it. He seems surprised, but gladly takes the dollar and we part ways.

I go into the store and get my thank you cards I came to purchase. As I exit, I see the man still lingering, sort of sitting down on his heels in the parking lot. But he's lingering near my car and now I'm not annoyed; instead I'm frightened. Isn't this the sort of setup typical for a robbery or even something worse? I trudge on to my car and approach him directly. Once he notices me he slowly rises to his feet. Then I stop dead in my tracks. He's crying! What on earth is he crying for? I'm cautious, and slowly walk forward. Then he hands me the dollar bill and walks away. Just like that, he's gone.

I'm not sure what happened to that man or what was going through his mind. I guess I'll never know. I hope he found what he was looking for."

Posted by Joshua Claybourn [NOTE: You can access Joshua's Blog by clicking here.]