SERMON: AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE

14 February 2010

I. Introduction
-- turn in your Bibles to the Book of Ruth, Chapter 3
-- while you are doing that, since it is Valentine's Day today, I want to share with you some humorous quotes from kids on the subject of love and marriage that I got off the internet
-- these were all in answer to questions that the interviewer asked

-- How Do You Decide Who To Marry?
-- Alan, age 10, said: "You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming."
-- Kirsten, age 10, said, "No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. GOD decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with."
-- What Is The Right Age To Get Married?
-- Camille, age 10, said, "Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then."
-- Freddie, age 6, was a little more cynical -- "No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married."
-- How Can A Stranger Tell If Two People Are Married? -- Derrick, age 8, had it figured out -- "You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids."
-- here's a good one from Lori, age 8 -- What Do You Think Your Mom And Dad Have In Common? -- "Both don't want any more kids."
-- What Do Most People Do On A Date?
-- "Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough." --Lynnette, age 8
-- Martin, age 10, said -- "On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."
-- When Is It Okay To Kiss Someone?
-- Pam, age 7 -- "When they're rich."
-- here's Curt, age 7 -- "The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that."
-- How Would The World Be Different If People Didn't Get Married? -- "There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?" --Kelvin, age 8
-- How Would You Make A Marriage Work? -- Ricky, age 10, has it all figured out -- "Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck."

-- those were pretty good, weren't they? -- I just wanted to share with you a little Valentine's Day Gift on this day in which we celebrate our relationships with our loved ones
-- now, if you would, look with me at the Book of Ruth, Chapter 3, and let's read our text for today -- Ruth 3:1-14

1. One day Naomi her mother-in-law said to her, "My daughter, should I not try to find a home for you, where you will be well provided for?
2. Is not Boaz, with whose servant girls you have been, a kinsman of ours? Tonight he will be winnowing barley on the threshing floor.
3. Wash and perfume yourself, and put on your best clothes. Then go down to the threshing floor, but don't let him know you are there until he has finished eating and drinking.
4. When he lies down, note the place where he is lying. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down. He will tell you what to do."
5. "I will do whatever you say," Ruth answered.
6. So she went down to the threshing floor and did everything her mother-in-law told her to do.
7. When Boaz had finished eating and drinking and was in good spirits, he went over to lie down at the far end of the grain pile. Ruth approached quietly, uncovered his feet and lay down.
8. In the middle of the night something startled the man, and he turned and discovered a woman lying at his feet.
9. "Who are you?" he asked. "I am your servant Ruth," she said. "Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a kinsman-redeemer."
10. "The LORD bless you, my daughter," he replied. "This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier: You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor.
11. And now, my daughter, don't be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character.
12. Although it is true that I am near of kin, there is a kinsman-redeemer nearer than I.
13. Stay here for the night, and in the morning if he wants to redeem, good; let him redeem. But if he is not willing, as surely as the LORD lives I will do it. Lie here until morning."
14. So she lay at his feet until morning, but got up before anyone could be recognized; and he said, "Don't let it be known that a woman came to the threshing floor."

-- since I have advanced in my job and have found myself trapped in the office more and more on a regular basis, I have found myself working around and with women more than men -- in the early part of my career, I was frequently just outdoors alone or with a few other guys, but now, I seem to be constantly working with women -- which is not necessarily a bad thing
-- because of this, I have learned some things about women that I never knew -- growing up, when I was in high school and then in college, women were a great mystery to me -- I never could understand them or figure out what drove them and what they were interested in -- but now, after working with them closely for several years, I know
-- there is one great common thing that I would say that 99% of all single women share -- they all want to get married -- they all have these dreams of settling down in a nice home with a white picket fence, two kids, and a loving husband -- I know I'm generalizing here, but there does seem to be this heart-cry of women for marriage and a long-term relationship
-- quite a few of the women I have worked with over the years have had steady boyfriends that they had been dating for years and years, but who would never seem to work up the courage to ask them to marry him -- I would hear these women complain time and time again, "When is he going to ask me to marry him? -- why won't he ask me to marry him?"
-- I guess this is a common problem with women today -- this is the plot of the new movie, "Leap Year," that just came out a few weeks ago -- Anna is a successful businesswoman who has her life all mapped out -- her career has succeeded beyond her wildest expectations -- and it seems like her social life is succeeding, all except for the fact that her boyfriend Jeremy just never will propose and ask her to marry him
-- so, Anna's father reminds her of an old Irish tradition that comes about every four years during Leap Year -- on February 29th of every leap year, the roles are reversed and women have the right to ask a man to marry them -- we have this same tradition in our country, but we call it "Sadie Hawkins Day" -- in Anna's case, Jeremy just happens to be in Ireland for February 29th, so she travels over to Dublin to ask him to marry her -- if you want to know what happens to Anna and Jeremy, you'll just have to go see the movie for yourself

II. Scripture Lesson (Ruth 3:1-14)
-- I bring this up on Valentine's Day today because in our text today we see a parallel between Anna and Ruth -- not that Ruth has been waiting years for her boyfriend to propose, but that social conventions of her day would not allow women to ask men to marry them
-- so, let's look back at this passage and read about one of the most romantic stories in all the Bible
-- before we go back to Chapter 3, let me remind you of the background of the story of Ruth

-- as you probably remember, Ruth was from Moab -- when Elimelech and his wife, Naomi, had moved from Bethlehem in Israel to Moab with their sons to flee a devastating drought in the country, Ruth had ended up marrying Elimelech's son, Mahlon
-- just a few years after they had been married, Mahlon died, along with Elimelech and his brother, Kilion -- leaving Ruth a widow -- rather than returning to her people like Kilion's wife, Ruth had instead traveled back to Israel with Naomi to live with her and take care of her in Bethlehem
-- as our story today opens, Ruth and Naomi have been living in Bethlehem for some time without any source of income and food had become scarce -- so Ruth went into the fields during the spring harvest season for barley and wheat to glean behind the reapers -- she would follow them along and pick up the stray stalks of grain that fell to the ground and were left behind during the harvesting process -- and this was what she and Naomi survived on
-- I've always heard that a coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous -- and by coincidence, Ruth just happened to pick the field of Boaz to glean in -- now Ruth didn't know it, but Boaz was her and Naomi's kinsman-redeemer
-- a kinsman-redeemer was a close relative who was responsible for protecting the interests of needy members of their extended family -- they were to redeem the family name of deceased relatives by making sure their widows and children were provided for, including marrying the widows and providing an heir for the deceased to ensure that their family line was continued and buying back family land that had been sold or avenging the death of a relative
-- in this case, Boaz was a kinsman-redeemer for both Naomi and Ruth though her marriage to Mahlon
-- now we're not going to look at Chapter 2 this morning, but if you go back and read it and read between the lines, you'll quickly see that Boaz was smitten with Ruth -- he fell in love with her at first sight and made sure that she was taken care of and provided extra grain and was protected from all harm -- and as you read, you can see how Ruth begins to fall in love with Boaz, too
-- which brings us to Chapter 3 and our text for today -- as this chapter opens, Naomi has seen this blossoming romance between Ruth and Boaz and realizes that Boaz can't ask Ruth to marry him for a couple of reasons
-- first, Ruth was from Moab, a people that were despised in Israel -- it would have gone against social and political conventions for Boaz to marry her, and it would have affected Boaz's standing in the community
-- and, second, Boaz was not Naomi's closest kinsman-redeemer -- there was another person more closely related to Naomi and Ruth than he, and that person had first choice as to whether to marry Ruth or not -- the rules of society dictated that Boaz not make a move towards Ruth until the other person chose whether to marry her or not
-- and, third, Boaz evidently was a lot older than Ruth -- he appears to be about the same age as Naomi and he keeps referring to Ruth as "daughter" -- a man of noble character like Boaz would not act upon his interests in a younger woman unless he knew for sure she was interested in him
-- so, let's look back at Chapter 3 here and pick up the story of Ruth and Boaz at that point

-- verse 1

1. One day Naomi her mother-in-law said to her, "My daughter, should I not try to find a home for you, where you will be well provided for?

-- typically, it would have been a father's responsibility to find a suitable husband for his daughter -- or, in the case of a widow, her father-in-law -- but, both Ruth and Naomi are widows -- there is no man in their home and Naomi knows that they need a man in their lives -- they need someone who can protect them and provide for them if they are going to make it there in Bethlehem -- so, Naomi takes it upon herself to break social conventions and to find a husband for Ruth -- and, of course, who does she propose? -- Boaz

-- verse 2

2. Is not Boaz, with whose servant girls you have been, a kinsman of ours? Tonight he will be winnowing barley on the threshing floor.
3. Wash and perfume yourself, and put on your best clothes. Then go down to the threshing floor, but don't let him know you are there until he has finished eating and drinking.


-- at this time, the harvest was all in and all that remained was the thresh and winnow the grain -- this was a time for celebration, and each night at the threshing floor a great party would be held, with eating and drinking and just celebrating all that God had done for them
-- Naomi has Ruth dress like she's going to the prom -- she has her put on her best clothes and her best perfume and she sends her down to the threshing floor -- but she tells her to stay hidden in the background until the festivities are over -- Ruth isn't going to party -- Ruth is going for another reason, and Naomi doesn't want Boaz to get the wrong impression

-- verse 4

4. When he lies down, note the place where he is lying. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down. He will tell you what to do."
5. "I will do whatever you say," Ruth answered.
6. So she went down to the threshing floor and did everything her mother-in-law told her to do.
7. When Boaz had finished eating and drinking and was in good spirits, he went over to lie down at the far end of the grain pile. Ruth approached quietly, uncovered his feet and lay down.
8. In the middle of the night something startled the man, and he turned and discovered a woman lying at his feet.
9. "Who are you?" he asked. "I am your servant Ruth," she said. "Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a kinsman-redeemer."

-- now, let me explain what is going on in this passage with all the uncovering of feet and laying down next to each other
-- this was an ancient Near Eastern custom -- this was their version of February 29th or Sadie Hawkins Day -- when a woman took the bold step of offering herself to a man, she would go to where he was sleeping and uncover his feet -- when he woke, he had a choice -- he could either cover her with his robe or blanket, signifying that he would be her protector -- or, he could reject her by not covering her up and leaving her at his feet
-- now, note that this was not a sexual proposition by Ruth -- it is true that women of good moral character did not typically go to the threshing floor -- only women of ill repute would do that -- but rather than going in and laying at his side in the middle of the night, which would have been a sexual proposition, Ruth lies at his feet -- a position a servant would take
-- by going to the threshing floor and uncovering Boaz's feet and laying there all night, Ruth was asking Boaz to marry her -- to bring her up from the position of a servant to the position of a wife
-- the author of Ruth tells us that Boaz woke up suddenly and was alarmed at finding a woman laying at his feet -- it was dark -- he couldn't tell who it was -- but it is obvious that Boaz was not the type of man who was accustomed to finding women laying at his feet -- in other words, Boaz was a man of character and integrity and he was shocked at finding a woman laying there on the threshing floor
-- so, he asks who it is, and Ruth proposes to him by reminding him of the obligation of the kinsman-redeemer

-- verse 10

10. "The LORD bless you, my daughter," he replied. "This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier: You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor.
11. And now, my daughter, don't be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character.
12. Although it is true that I am near of kin, there is a kinsman-redeemer nearer than I.
13. Stay here for the night, and in the morning if he wants to redeem, good; let him redeem. But if he is not willing, as surely as the LORD lives I will do it. Lie here until morning."
14. So she lay at his feet until morning, but got up before anyone could be recognized; and he said, "Don't let it be known that a woman came to the threshing floor."

-- does it seem like all of Boaz's wildest dreams have come true? -- it seems like he can't believe his good fortune -- it's obvious that he has been in love with Ruth -- he gushes over her -- his emotions come out in a rush -- it seems like he can't believe that she chose him over the younger men in the city, even the rich ones who would have provided a better life for her
-- he is nothing but a gentleman -- he accepts her proposal and tells her that he will do everything in his power to marry her -- he has her lie there the rest of the night, and then sends her off in the morning before the other men wake up to protect her honor
-- the story continues in Chapter 4 as Boaz convinces the other kinsman-redeemer to not marry Ruth himself -- Ruth and Boaz get married and live happily ever after -- having a son together that they named Obed, who was the father of Jesse, the grandfather of David -- and part of the lineage of Jesus Himself

III. Closing
-- so, what a wonderful, romantic story for Valentine's Day -- but, you might be asking yourself, "Why? -- Why is this in the Bible? -- What does this have to do with God? -- What does this have to do with me?"
-- surely, God didn't just have this put in His holy scriptures just to entertain us on Valentine's Day -- surely, this wasn't just put in as a romantic story for the early Israelites to read around the campfire
-- so, what does it mean?
-- well, this story of Ruth and Boaz is a symbol of the greatest love story of all time -- in this love story, we play the role of Ruth -- we are lost and alone in a foreign land, living among people that are not our own -- we need someone to love us -- someone to protect us -- someone to redeem us
-- and so, in comes our kinsman-redeemer -- the One who loves us enough to give up His very own life to redeem us from our lives of sin and shame -- Jesus came to redeem us -- to make us part of His family -- to offer us a place in His home
-- and although in this case the offer of marriage has been made, we have to follow the example of Ruth and we have to take the next bold step -- we have to go to where Jesus is and we have to say, "Yes," to His offer of a relationship
-- we have to ask Him to cover us, not with His robe, but with His blood -- we have to ask Him to forgive us of our sins -- and we have to accept His forgiveness and receive the salvation He offers if we are to experience eternal life with Him
-- if we do so, then we will enter into a love relationship that is greater than any other -- a love relationship that protects and provides and offers us heaven itself
-- what better way to celebrate Valentine's Day than by receiving the love of Christ in our hearts? -- if you have never done that, then I want to invite you to do so this morning
-- if you have done that, then don't forget your Valentine today -- remember Jesus and use this day to restore and renew your relationship with Him -- pledge your love to Him again -- and pledge to live for Him today
-- let us pray