Wednesday, March 07, 2018

Diary of a Mad Southern Driver or "Why am I so offended?"


Every morning I get mad.  Every morning.  Without fail.  And it’s not that I get mad at things my friends or family do to me. I get mad at strangers -- people I don’t even know. Let me explain.

In the mornings when I leave my house, I come to an intersection with a four-lane divided highway.  I have to turn right.  There’s two lanes, so this should be easy, right?  But, no.  Invariably, when I pull up to the stop sign, there’s always a car coming from my left, heading the same way that I need to go.  So, I watch and wait for them to politely slide over into the vacant inner lane so I can turn into the outer lane.  That way, neither of us has to wait on the other, and both of us get to our destinations as quickly as possible.  But, this never happens.

For some reason, people don’t want to move.  They’re in their lane.  They’re happy there.  So, it doesn’t matter to them if someone else could be granted entry into the highway, perhaps someone who is already running late to work and watching the seconds and minutes tick away as this car slowly comes down the road in “my” lane, without any consideration or kindness.  And, as I watch them drive by, I find myself getting angry.  How dare they?  How dare they ignore me? Not consider my plight? Think themselves better than me?  Every day.  Every single day.

It reminds me of a Key and Poole comedy skit I saw one time where they couldn’t get into a parking place at the store because someone was sitting there, blocking traffic, while waiting for another car to back out.  When the car finally parked and they could get by, they yelled out the window, “Selfish!  You are selfish!” And I remember thinking, “That’s right!”

So, every day, I find myself getting angry first thing in the morning.  And that anger carries on with me throughout the day.  It puts me in a bad mood, affecting how I greet coworkers, how I do my job, how I respond to others on my commute.  I think about how selfish that other person was, how inconsiderate they were, and it makes me angry.  How dare they ignore my needs?  How dare they not conform to my wants and wishes?

Thinking on this, it makes me wonder just who the selfish one truly is in this scenario.  I was reading a devotional about the martyred saints under the altar from Revelation 6:9-11:

Revelation 6:9-11 New International Version (NIV)
9 When he opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain because of the word of God and the testimony they had maintained. 10 They called out in a loud voice, “How long, Sovereign Lord, holy and true, until you judge the inhabitants of the earth and avenge our blood?” 11 Then each of them was given a white robe, and they were told to wait a little longer, until the full number of their fellow servants, their brothers and sisters,[a] were killed just as they had been.

The devotional writer made this point, which really struck home to me:

“In contrast to [the martyred saints under the throne], we seem to care more about getting justice for the petty inequities we suffer.  A traffic ticket, a snide remark, or an accusation of bad motives [or an “inconsiderate” driver] can set us off on a holy crusade.  How poorly these causes compare to the cause [and true suffering and hurts] of these men and women who had entrusted themselves to Jesus”

In his book, “Unoffendable,” Brant Hansen makes the point that Christians should be different from those around us who are quick to take offense at everything.  The root of being offended, he says, is selfishness.  Wanting our own way.  Wanting others to do what we want.  And, when that doesn’t happen, we become offended, indignant, angry.  Sound familiar?

Sometimes, when we look into the mirror, we see someone we don’t like, or, at least I do.  I find it curious that this same issue with drivers refusing to move over happens to me almost every morning.  It’s never the same car twice.  It’s always someone different.  But, it happens every time I head to work.  And, it’s not like I live in a metropolitan area.  There might be one car every five minutes on this road at the time I leave for work.  But, every time, they choose to stay in the outer lane and keep me from pulling out, starting the chain reaction of anger and irritation driven by my own selfishness.

Every morning.  It’s almost like Someone is trying to point out a flaw in my life.  It’s almost like Someone is saying, “Here’s an area of your life that you need to work on.  Here’s an area of your life where you are selfish and not loving.” 

To quote Brant Hansen, “You can choose to be ‘unoffendable...’ It’s the taking of offense, and the very presumption that I’m somehow entitled to be angry with someone, that I’m talking about...

“Not only can we choose to be unoffendable; we should choose that. We should forfeit our right to be offended. That means forfeiting our right to hold on to anger...Forfeiting our right to anger makes us deny ourselves, and makes us others-centered. When we start living this way, it changes everything.”

Selfishness.  Being offended.  Getting angry because I have been slighted -- “my” rights have been ignored.  I’m afraid it’s become a way of life for me.  Maybe for you, too.  It is common, after all.  If you don’t believe me, just check out any social media site and you’ll see what Brant is talking about.

My prayer for this week is that I become aware of these opportunities to change.  That I begin realizing that these drivers who are “offending” me are actually the means of grace God is using to touch me and change me.  My prayer is that I turn the selfishness around.  That I learn patience and love.  That I learn to live my life “unoffendable.”  That I stop letting anger lead my day, and let selflessness become an attribute I clothe myself with each morning.

It starts tomorrow at the stop sign. 

Pastor Greg


1 comment:

Logan said...

Thank yyou for being you