SERMON: I HAVE A FRIEND WHO DOESN'T BELIEVE IN GOD

Preached by Gregory W. Lee
3 February 2008

I. Introduction
-- turn in Bibles to Psalm 53



1. The fool says in his heart, "There is no God." They are corrupt, and their ways are vile; there is no one who does good.
2. God looks down from heaven on the sons of men to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.
3. Everyone has turned away, they have together become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one.

-- the title of my message this morning is, "I have a friend who doesn't believe in God"
-- when I first started studying for this message, I immediately thought of a story that you may have heard before -- it's been going around on internet for years -- let me share a version of it with you again this morning

-- On the first day of class, the professor of philosophy -- an atheist -- starts by telling his class about the problem that science has with the existence of God
-- to make his point, he asks the students if any of them believe in God and has them raise their hands -- he points at one of those who raised their hands, and had him stand
-- "So," he said, "You believe in God." -- Absolutely, sir -- "And what scientific rationale is your belief based on? -- the student looked at him and said, None -- I just believe in God and the Bible based on faith
-- "That is the problem that science has with God -- science uses empirical, testable, and demonstrable protocols to prove or disprove the existence of things -- God cannot be proved in this way, so He cannot exist"
-- the professor turns again to the student and says, "We all have five senses that we use to identify and observe the world around us -- tell me, son -- have you ever seen God?" -- No -- "Have you ever heard God?" -- No -- "Have you ever felt your God -- tasted your God -- smelled your God? -- Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?" -- No sir, I'm afraid I haven't
-- "Yet you still believe in Him?" -- Yes -- "According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, we have just proven that God does not exist. -- what do you say to that, son?" -- Nothing. I have only my faith -- "Yes -- faith -- and that's not science and so that's why religion is nothing but fairy tales that cannot be proven"
-- Sir, can I ask you something? -- "Certainly" -- Is there such a thing as heat? -- "Yes" -- and is there such a thing as cold? -- "Yes" -- No sir, there isn't. -- you can have lots of heat -- even more heat -- superheat -- megaheat -- white heat -- a little heat -- or no heat -- but we don't have anything called cold -- we can hit 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat -- but we can't go any further than that -- there is no such thing as cold -- cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat -- we cannot measure cold"
-- "So, what is your point, young man" -- It's this -- you rightly state that science if the study of observed phenomena -- but, based on your definition, science is a premise which is flawed just like religion -- "Flawed?" -- the professor exclaimed -- "How is science flawed?"
-- Sir, you are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. -- science can't even explain a thought. -- It uses electricity and magnetism, but a thought has never been seen, much less fully understood -- but we all know that thoughts are real and exist -- so, the absence of something observable doesn't mean it doesn't exist
-- the student turned to the class -- Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain? -- Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelled it? -- the class roared in laughter
-- the student turned to the professor -- No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. -- With all due respect, then, how do we trust your lectures, sir?
-- the room is silent -- the professor stares at the student -- "I guess you'll have to take that on faith, son" -- And, that, sir, was my point -- faith -- believing in that which you cannot see or hear or feel or touch or smell -- doesn't make the object of your faith any less real than anything else

-- working in the field of science, I am constantly surrounded by people who don't believe in God -- as scientists, they tend to be just like the professor in this story -- they only believe in that which they can test and see and observe
-- so, knowing that I'm a Christian, I always have folks coming up to me and challenging me and questioning why I believe in God -- they just don't understand how a scientist can be a Christian
-- on the other hand, I just can't fathom how a scientist -- or anyone for that matter -- can't believe in God -- as Abraham Lincoln once said, "I can see how it might be possible for someone to look around on earth and not believe in God, but I cannot conceive how anyone could look up into the heavens and say there is no God."
-- statistics show that the majority of people in America profess belief in God -- they may not fully have accepted the gospel message and the saving grace of Jesus -- but they believe in God -- but, still, there are many people who you cross paths with on a daily basis who don't believe in God
-- so, what do you say to friends who don't believe in God? -- how do you respond to their concerns that God can't be measured or observed or documented in any form or fashion?

II. Non-Believing Camps
-- this morning, I want to share with you a few insights into this and maybe help you arm yourself with arguments that you can use to point your friends to the truth of God in their lives
-- let me start by saying something that is going to shock you -- especially coming from the lips of a preacher -- when you are trying to share with your friends the truth of God, don't use your Bible -- I can tell you from experience that that approach just doesn't work
-- if someone doesn't believe in God, then they're not going to believe in the Bible -- and when you pull it out, or when you start quoting scripture, they are immediately going to tune you out -- you are going to have to offer them proofs of another kind in order to lead them to God
-- now, before we get to the meat of this subject, let's consider for a second our friend who doesn't believe in God -- when someone tells you that, then they generally fall into one of three camps
-- first, they might be an atheist -- we're all familiar with that term -- we get this word from the Greek adjective, "atheos" -- which means, "godless" -- to break it down, "a" means "not" and "theist" or "theism" -- means "God" -- so an atheist is against God or without God
-- atheists typically believe in materialism -- in other words, they believe that there is no supernatural -- all that exists is matter -- materialism -- and there is nothing except matter and interactions or relationships with that matter
-- they tend to be secularists -- and want to remove all vestiges of religion from the public arena

-- or, if they're not atheists, they might be agnostics -- an agnostic is someone who says that it is impossible to know if God exists or not -- some agnostics are almost atheistic in their beliefs -- they say it's impossible to know if there is a God, but don't really believe there can be one -- other agnostics believe that there is something out there -- some spirit or force or energy -- that is supernatural -- but it cannot be known or experienced -- all agnostics will fall somewhere in a gradient between these two beliefs

-- finally, if your friend isn't an atheist and they aren't an agnostics, then they probably mean that they don't believe in the God of the Bible -- there's a lot of people in this camp and they have all sorts of beliefs -- from pantheism -- the belief that god and the universe are one -- everything is god and god is in everything -- to new age beliefs -- to pluralism -- the belief that there is only one god and that all religions believe and point to that one god
-- it's important to know what your friend means when they say that they don't believe in God -- because that gives you a starting point for your discussion

III. Proving God
-- so, you've got it figured out -- you know what your friend does and doesn't believe -- so what do you say to them -- how do you start to convince them that God is real and that He loves them and cares for them in a personal way?
-- you know, the professor in my story was right -- generally, God is not observable -- we can't touch God or taste God or hear Him in an audible voice -- we can't see Him or smell Him -- but, just like we can't see or touch or taste the wind, we know God's there because we see signs of His presence all around us -- God has left His fingerprints on this world and on our bodies and in our lives

-- one of the clearest ways that you can express to your friend the existence of God is by showing what happens in the absence of God
-- use this Psalm as an example -- look back at verse 1



1. The fool says in his heart, "There is no God." They are corrupt, and their ways are vile; there is no one who does good.
2. God looks down from heaven on the sons of men to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.
3. Everyone has turned away, they have together become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one.

-- so what happens when someone doesn't have God in their lives -- what happens when someone -- David calls them "a fool" -- lives life without God in their hearts? -- well, chaos happens -- evil happens -- injustice happens
-- I've had people come to me and say, "Look at what happened in the news today -- look at the evil in this world -- this proves that there is no God" -- and I say, "No, this proves that there is a God -- what you are seeing is what happens when people try to live without Him"
-- the psalmist says the same thing -- they are corrupt -- they are vile -- and they are incapable of doing good -- good only comes from those who seek God -- who have God living in their heart -- as God tells us in Proverbs 8:14-21, "Counsel and sound judgment are mine; I have understanding and power. -- By me kings reign and rulers make laws that are just; by me princes govern, and all nobles who rule on earth. -- I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me."
-- this tells us that the concept of evil is like the concept of cold -- it doesn't exist on its own -- evil is the absence of good -- and goodness comes from God -- God tells us that He brings goodness and righteousness and justice and love -- clear proofs of His presence in this world and in our lives
-- so, you can point out to your friend by showing them what happens when God is absent from a person's life

-- another way to prove to someone that God is real is to point them to the wonders of creation -- this world and this universe and our very own bodies are masterpieces of God that just could not have developed by chance -- and this proves that God is real and that God exists
-- think about the earth -- the earth is perfect -- it is just the right size -- if the earth were smaller, say the size of Mercury, we wouldn't have enough room to have an atmosphere to allow us to breathe -- if the earth was any larger, our atmosphere would have too much free hydrogen and wouldn't be able to sustain life -- the earth is the only known planet equipped with an atmosphere of the right mixture of gases to sustain plant, animal, and human lives
-- the earth is in the right place -- if the earth were any farther away from the sun, we would freeze -- any closer and we would burn up -- no other planet is tilted as ours is -- 23 degrees - -this angle allows the earth to slowly turn all its parts before the rays of the sun, kind of like a chicken on a spit -- if there were no tilt to the axis, the poles would accumulate massive amounts of ice and the center part of the earth would become too hot to sustain life
-- point out to your friends the miracle of their own bodies -- think about the human brain -- Sir Henry Fairfield Osborn, the noted anthropologist, said, "To my mind, the human brain is the most marvelous and mysterious object in the whole universe" -- it only weighs 3.3 pounds, but it can perform what 500 tons of electrical and electronic equipment can't do -- it does feats that absolutely boggle the mind and performs calculations quicker than the world's super computers

-- but, there's one final way to prove to your friend the existence of God that works better than any other -- and that is to share your own experiences of God's presence in your life
-- a few years ago, I got in a debate with a student of mine about the presence of God -- I used all the arguments I made above to prove to her that God was real -- but that didn't matter to her -- to people in our post-modern world, experience is the defining factor in knowing the truth
-- finally, I had no arguments left -- so I turned to her and said, "Believe what you will -- but I can tell you this -- I know that God exists because I know God -- I talked with Him just this morning -- and He is in my life right now"
-- she told me that of all that I had said, that this was the most convincing argument of all -- sure, I could point all day to the fingerprints of God in nature and in culture and in our universe -- but, when it all came down to it, it was the presence of God in me that influenced her more than anything
-- when someone comes to you and tells you that they don't believe in God, they have probably done so for a reason -- they know that you are a person that professes Christ -- and they want to know what you believe -- but more important than the words you might share, they want to know if believing it has made a difference in your life
-- keep in mind that a life transformed by Christ speaks more than all the words you might offer as proof that God exists

IV. Closing
-- science tells us that we have to have empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol in order to prove God is real -- the good news is that we do -- we may not be able to test and prove God -- but we can show them the fingerprints of God in the universe and in nature and in our bodies
-- and not only can we point someone to the fingerprints of God -- we can point them to Jesus and tell them that He was God in the flesh -- a God that could be touched and felt and heard -- a God that we know existed because of the historical and biblical record and the recorded stories of eye-witnesses
-- as John says in 1 John 1:1-3, "That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched--this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. -- The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us. -- We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ."
-- but, finally, we can point them to the irrefutable proof that God exists -- and that is what He has done in us and in our lives -- no one can question the transforming power of the Holy Spirit in the life of a Christian -- no one can question the amazing change that occurs when someone accepts Christ into their heart and starts living for Him
-- no one should be able to look at the life of a Christian and say that God doesn't exist
-- what do you do when a friend who comes to you and says they don't believe in God? -- point out to them these three things -- first, the fingerprints of God in this world and this universe -- secondly, the witness of Jesus Christ -- and, finally, the testimony of your transformed life

-- I know I've gone long, but I want to close with this -- regardless of where your conversation ends with your friend -- regardless of where you are in your own spiritual walk, know this -- believing that God exists is not enough
-- James 2:19 says, "You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that--and shudder." -- it takes more than believing that God exists to be saved -- you have to believe in Jesus -- that He was God incarnate -- that He was God in the flesh and that He died on the cross to pay for our sins and that He rose on the third day to prove victory over sin and death -- but more importantly, you have to put your faith and trust in Him -- you have to ask Him to forgive you of your sins and trust that He has paid the price of your sin debt and that you have been granted access to God and Heaven because of Him
-- I pray that all of you here have that faith and trust in Jesus today -- if not, as I close in prayer, may you weigh all that I have said and turn to Him for the forgiveness of your sins and trust in Him for your eternal life and salvation today
-- let us pray

SERMON: I HAVE A FRIEND WHO WANTS A DIVORCE

Preached by Gregory W. Lee
27 January 2008

I. Introduction
-- if you have your Bibles with you, please turn over to Matthew 19

1. When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan.
2. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
3. Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
4. "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator `made them male and female,'
5. and said, `For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ?
6. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
7. "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
8. Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
9. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
10. The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."
11. Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.
12. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

-- the title of my message today is, "I have a friend who wants a divorce"
-- when I started this series on, "I have a friend who...," this was the one sermon that I dreaded addressing from the pulpit -- out of all the issues facing the church today -- from homosexuality to gay marriage to abortion to liberal theology -- this issue -- the issue of divorce -- is one of the most controversial and contentious issues today
-- the other issues tend to pit a church against another church or a denomination against another denomination -- rarely will you see the issue of gay marriage cause concern within a single church -- generally, most members of a given church are going to agree on these major issues -- whether that is in favor of them or opposed to them
-- but, the issue of divorce is just like the concept of divorce -- it touches the individual church -- it touches the individuals within that church -- and there can be strong differences of opinion within the walls of a single church and even within a single pew
-- I know this is a touchy and sensitive subject for a lot of people -- but that doesn't mean we shouldn't talk about it -- my intent this morning is not to cause division or to hurt anyone -- but simply to share, with mercy and grace, the teaching of our Lord on this subject
-- in my opinion, for far too long, the church has not dealt with this subject with mercy and grace -- I have known families -- good Christian men and women -- who have been dealing with marital problems or divorce in their lives -- and I've seen them turn to the church for support and for mercy and for grace and go away finding nothing but judgment

-- earlier this week there was a story in the news about two men who went out collecting crocodile eggs from a river bank in northern Australia -- while they were doing that, a crocodile attacked them and grabbed one of the men by his right arm and started to drag him off
-- his friend quickly grabbed a rifle and fired at the crocodile, hitting it on the first shot -- the crocodile let go of his friend's arm and he fired off another shot -- this time, he missed the crocodile and shot his friend
-- the hospital reports that the man is being treated for both the bullet and the crocodile wounds and is expected to make a full recovery
-- when I heard that story, I immediately thought of this message -- if a friend comes to us and tells us that they are wanting a divorce, the last thing we need to do -- as a friend or as a church -- is to shoot at them and wound them worse than they are already wounded
-- so, what do you tell a friend who comes to you and says that they are wanting to divorce their spouse? -- you know, I've dealt with this situation several times -- on both sides -- from people who were wanting to divorce their spouses and from people who had been told by their spouses that they wanted a divorce -- and I bet that you have, too
-- so, what do you say to a friend who is hurting? -- to a friend who comes to you and asks for your advice in this situation?
-- before we try to formulate an answer, let's look at this passage and the teaching of Jesus on this subject in more detail

II. Scripture Lesson Context
-- first, though, let's look at the context
-- as this passage opens, Jesus is making his final journey to Jerusalem to face the cross -- He has left Galilee and is now crossing through Judea when He is confronted by a group of Pharisees who were trying to test Him and catch Him saying something that would get Jesus in trouble with either the temple and the High Priest or with the Romans
-- look back at verse 1


1. When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan.
2. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
3. Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"

-- now, there is a reason that the Pharisees chose the topic of divorce to try to trip Jesus up -- you see, Judea was ruled by Herod Antipas -- he was the son of Herod the Great -- the king who killed all the Hebrew babies in Bethlehem at the time of Jesus' birth
-- this Herod is the one who had John the Baptist beheaded because John criticized his marriage to Herodias, who was his niece and the wife of his half-brother Philip -- the Pharisees were probably hoping that they could get Jesus to condemn this illegitimate marriage of Herod and Herodias and that He would be arrested and executed, just like John the Baptist
-- so they come to Jesus and ask Him a loaded question -- "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
-- notice that the question is not, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife," but instead, "Can a man divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
-- during the time of Christ, divorce was legal among the Jews -- in the book of Deuteronomy, a provision had been put into the law that allowed a man to divorce his wife if she was found to be indecent in his eyes
-- so the real question that the Pharisees were asking Jesus, hoping to get Him to condemn Herod, was what defined indecency -- in other words, can a man divorce his woman for any and all reasons or are there specific reasons that are lawful? -- the hidden question, then, was, "Did Herod break the law by marrying Herodias?"

-- but Jesus knew what they were really asking and He knew why they were asking it -- look at His response -- verse 4

4. "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator `made them male and female,'
5. and said, `For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ?
6. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

-- just as He did with the beatitudes -- just as He did with all of His teachings -- Jesus took the issue back to the heart of the matter
-- "Why are you even asking about divorce -- don't you know that this is not the way it was at the beginning, when the Father created marriage?"
-- marriage is a holy and sacred union of two people in the eyes of God -- when two people come together -- when a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife -- they are no longer two, but now they are one
-- they are joined together by God -- He has bonded them one to the other -- so, when the Pharisees come to Jesus and try to trip Him up on the issue of lawful divorce, Jesus responds by saying, "Why are you even talking about divorce? -- Why are you even considering separating what God has joined?"
-- several years ago, I went through a Bible study on the Song of Solomon by Tommy Nelson -- and in this study, Tommy talks about the permanence of marriage -- the same thing that Jesus is talking about here
-- in Tommy's church, they don't have a chancel rail like we do -- their altar is at the top of these stairs -- so in order to go to the altar, you have to climb these stairs -- now when Tommy would marry people, the bride and the groom would meet at the top of the stairs in front of the altar and the wedding party would cascade down the stairs on each side
-- but Tommy said that before he would allow the bride and the groom to climb the stairs to start the marriage ceremony, that he would meet them at the bottom -- right in front of the congregation and right in front their families -- and he wouldn't let the marriage proceed until the man said, "I will not divorce this woman" and the woman said, "I will not divorce this man"
-- that's the point that Jesus is trying to make with the Pharisees -- Why are you concerned with divorce? -- the focus of a man and a woman should not be how to legally get out of a marriage but how to stay married and joined together by God -- in other words, take divorce out of your vocabulary
-- that's exactly what I tell people who come to me for counseling -- whether that's premarital counseling or marital counseling -- let's take the word "divorce" off the table and let's focus on the issue of marriage
-- now I know and you know that there may be valid reasons to consider divorce -- and we'll talk about them in just a minute -- but, by and large, the word "divorce" should not be allowed in a Christian marriage

-- verse 7

7. "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"

-- can you picture this in your mind? -- here this group of Pharisees has come to Jesus and they think they've finally got Him -- they've trapped Him in a question that will either get Him in trouble with the church or it will get Him in trouble with Herod and the government
-- I can just see them standing there smirking -- rubbing their hands together in glee -- as they wait for Jesus to try to worm His way out of their question -- and, lo and behold, Jesus turns the tables on them
-- "Why are you talking about divorce?" Jesus says, "Shouldn't you be focused on keeping together what God has joined?"
-- the Pharisees are dumbfounded -- Jesus didn't answer their answer their question -- so they try again, "But Moses said we could divorce -- why did He say that if God didn't mean for us to be able to divorce"

-- now Jesus has them where He wants them -- verse 8

8. Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
9. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

-- in the beginning, it wasn't like this -- God created Eve to be a partner with Adam -- to be his help-meet -- to be his mate -- to be flesh of his flesh and bone of his bone -- God intended for men and women to join together in holy marriage and to be one
-- but, something happened -- your hearts became hard -- sin entered the land -- the marriage covenant was corrupted and defiled -- and so, God allowed Moses to institute divorce as a means of dealing with the sin that was defiling God's purpose in marriage
-- God's original intent was not for men and women to be divorced -- His intent was for them to remain married for life -- but, because of sin, it becomes necessary, from time to time, for divorce to occur
-- and now Jesus answers their original question -- "But," He says, "divorce should not occur for any and every reason -- that is not the intent of God -- divorce should only occur when there is marital unfaithfulness"
-- now, let me make a couple of points here

-- first, notice that Matthew specifically says in verse 9, "anyone who divorces from his wife" -- the Book of Matthew was written for a Jewish audience -- and only Jewish men were allowed to initiate a divorce -- so Matthew does not address the issue of women seeking a divorce from their husbands
-- hold your place here and turn over to Mark Chapter 10 and look at verses 11 and 12

11. He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.
12. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery."
-- the Book of Mark was written for a Gentile audience, and it was common among the Greeks and the Romans for both husbands and wives to seek a divorce, so Mark includes both instances in his gospel
-- therefore, this teaching of Jesus on divorce applies equally to both husbands and wives -- the only reason Matthew left out the issue of wives divorcing was because of cultural norms at that time

-- secondly, verse 9 includes what is called, "the exception clause" -- in other words, scholars contend that Jesus was saying, "You should not divorce except for this reason" -- and that reason is marital unfaithfulness
-- now you should know that scholars are greatly divided on what Jesus means in this verse -- in my studying on this passage, I found some scholars who said that Jesus was saying that there should never be any divorce at all -- for any reason -- and I found others who argued that Jesus was allowing divorce in certain circumstances
-- the issue revolves around the term "marital unfaithfulness" -- the Greek word that is used here has several different meanings -- the King James Version translates this as "fornication" -- and we typically think of Jesus as meaning that a spouse was sexually unfaithful to the other
-- but the Greek word used here is not the same as the Greek word used later on in the verse for "adultery" -- which seems to imply that Jesus had more in mind than just sexual unfaithfulness
-- actually, if you were to look at the Old Testament law, you would see that Jesus couldn't mean "adultery" here, because the penalty for adultery in the Old Testament and at the time Jesus spoke these words was death by stoning -- remember the adulterous woman who the crowd brought to Jesus and tried to get Him to denounce?
-- so, what does Jesus mean here by "marital unfaithfulness?" -- I'm not a Bible scholar, but I'm going to give you my thoughts on this -- I think, in context, that Jesus is saying that divorce should only be considered when the marriage covenant is so broken by the sin of one or both of the partners that there is no hope for reconciliation or restoration
-- in today's culture, we don't stone people to death for adultery -- so this can mean adultery now -- but, in my opinion, it definitely includes such things as spousal abuse or criminal activities

III. Closing
-- so, let's get back to our original question -- if a friend comes to you and says, "I am thinking about getting a divorce" -- what would you tell them? -- what would you do?

-- I think the first thing you should do is to talk with your friend and find out what exactly is going on in their relationship
-- there may be valid problems in the marriage -- there may be clearcut issues of marital unfaithfulness -- but a lot of the times, there are not
-- I can't tell you the number of times I've had people come to me and say, "I want a divorce because I'm not happy any more -- I want a divorce because I am not in love with this person any more -- I want a divorce because my spouse doesn't understand me" or any variety of reasons
-- there may be valid reasons for divorce -- but, in a lot of cases, there are just excuses for why this person is tired of being married to someone else
-- if your friend is coming to you and saying, "I want a divorce," it could be that they are just trying to get you to validate their decision -- so you need to find out what is really going on before you say anything
-- let me caution you here -- always, always, find out both sides of the situation -- never rely on a single spouse when you are trying to help someone get a handle on marital problems -- I have been there and done that and I'm telling you, "Don't do it." -- you cannot know what's really going on in a relationship by talking with just one spouse

secondly, I think you should share with them Jesus' teachings on this passage about the permanence of marriage in a loving manner
-- never, ever blast someone for thinking about getting a divorce -- that's not what Jesus would do -- your friend's coming to you for support and for help -- not for judgment -- and certainly not to get shot while the crocodile of divorce is threatening
-- the church has a tendency to shoot first and ask questions later -- we are the only group I know that shoots our wounded -- and a lot of times we leave people thinking that divorce is the unpardonable sin -- it's not and we shouldn't give that impression
-- if a friend comes to you and tells you that they are thinking about getting a divorce, remind them of God's plan for marriage -- just don't shoot them in the process

-- Jesus tells us in this passage that God's original intent was that men and women should never divorce, but that they should remain together as one -- as an image of the relationship between the Father and the Son
-- Jesus said in His prayer in John 17:11 -- "I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name--the name you gave me--so that they may be one as we are one." -- and while I know that this was a prayer primarily for the church, I think it was also a prayer for all relationships among Christians -- whether that is members of a church or a husband and wife
-- God wants us to be one -- in Christian marriage, He put us together -- He bound us together as a new creation -- as one -- and Jesus says that this bond should not be dissolved

-- that doesn't mean that problems won't arise in a marriage -- they certainly will --and for that reason, you need to share with your friend the good news of God's healing power in their lives
-- our God is a God of healing -- our God is a God of restoration -- our God is a God of forgiveness -- and I think you need to speak words of healing and restoration and forgiveness into the lives of anyone who is having marital problems
-- I'm going to go on record here and say that I do not believe that there is any situation or any circumstance or any sin that is too great for the power of God to redeem and restore and renew
-- that doesn't mean that the couple shouldn't separate for a while until God works through them to restore and renew their marriage -- but I think that you should help your friend see that divorce, for whatever reason, should be the last option
-- that said, let me make this perfectly clear -- in the case of abuse or criminal activity, I think you should encourage your friend to separate immediately from the situation for their own safety -- whether this proceeds towards divorce or not, the safety of your friend is of the utmost importance
-- I believe that healing can even come about in these situations, but until the other spouse allows God to work in them and through them, it might be in the best interest of your friend to get out for their own safety at the moment

-- next, I would suggest that you try to get your friend some professional help -- even if you are a trained counselor, in most cases, it's probably not a good idea to try to counsel your friends -- it might lead to problems in your own relationship with your friend
-- you are better off trying to get the couple to go to a trained Christian counselor or to a pastor who can either counsel them or get them professional help
-- you can be there for them -- you can listen to them and give them a shoulder to lean on during the process -- you can love them through it -- but I am going to recommend that you leave the counseling to trained persons

-- finally, and I'm going to close with this, we need to be more loving in our response to those in our churches who have been divorced -- we will never fully understand the reasons why someone got divorced -- and we shouldn't judge them for having been divorced
-- Jesus said that divorce came about because our hearts had been hardened -- because sin had entered into our lives -- sometimes sin of our own -- but sometimes the sin of another
-- the message of the Bible is this -- God's original intent was for us to live in holy relationships with each other and with Him -- but sin entered the earth through Adam and Eve -- and as a result, we are all sinners and have all fallen short of the glory and the purposes of God -- but the good news of the Bible is that there is grace and mercy and healing and forgiveness for all of us -- regardless of what we have done in our lives
-- it is for this reason that Christ came -- and it is to this very end that He calls you this morning
-- as I close, I want to offer to you the invitation of Christ to renew and restore your lives and your relationships through Him -- through His death on the cross and His resurrection on the third day, Jesus has made it possible for us to be forgiven and to live in holy relationships with God and with others
-- if you have never accepted His offer of forgiveness and grace -- or if you have fallen away and allowed sin to impact your lives and your relationship -- then Christ offers you His grace today -- all you have to do is ask
-- let us pray

SERMON: I HAVE A FRIEND WHO IS CONSIDERING AN ABORTION

Preached by Gregory W. Lee
20 January 2008

I. Introduction
-- turn in Bibles to Psalm 139

13. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16. your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

-- the title of my message this morning is, "I have a friend who is considering an abortion" -- as you probably know, today is Sanctity of Life Sunday -- the one Sunday out of the year when we take time to consider and to pray for the sanctity of life, especially the life of our unborn children -- children whose very existence is threatened through the twin horrors of abortion and embryonic stem cell research
-- normally, when we talk about this issue, all you hear from the pulpit is gloom and and doom
-- however, this morning, I am very excited to be able to stand up here today and give you some good news -- while we still have a long way to go, public opinion polls conducted over the past several years have clearly and consistently shown that that the overwhelming majority of Americans do not believe that abortion should be legal except in extreme circumstances, such as when the mother's life would be threatened by the pregnancy or if the child is the result of rape or incest
-- this is a vast change from similar opinion polls conducted during the last three decades
-- part of this change in thought about abortion is due to technological advances, such as the 4-D ultrasounds being used in crisis pregnancy centers across the country -- part of this is due to increased awareness among teens and young mothers concerning the effects of abortion on themselves and their unborn children -- but part of this is due to a prevailing political climate of life
-- regardless of what you think about President Bush and his policies, you have to admit that he has been the most pro-life president that we have ever had -- and his staunch support of the unborn has influenced a generation for life
-- just this past week, our newspapers reported that we are seeing big declines in abortion rates throughout the United States -- since 1990, the numbers of abortions in this country have declined by about 25% -- in the 1980's, 1 out of every 3 pregnant women chose to abort their baby -- now, only 1 out of every 5 pregnant women choose to abort their baby -- and the number of abortion providers has dropped by about 12% since 1992
-- and we have seen a pro-life movie -- the movie "Juno" -- make a lot of money at the box office and receive rave reviews from movie critics -- for the first time in a long time, a movie that is unabashedly pro-life -- a movie that supports adoption over abortion -- has been nominated for the best picture award at the Golden Globes
-- so, as we prepare to remember the 35th anniversary of Roe vs. Wade on January 22nd, the Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion in the U.S., there is good news to report

-- however, there is still much to do -- we are still seeing over 1,300,000 abortions in this country ever year -- that is about 3,735 babies per day -- just to put that in perspective, on September 11, 2001, about 3,000 Americans lost their lives -- this means that every day, more innocent babies are killed than were killed on 9/11
-- you know, when we hear numbers like that -- when someone tells us that 1,300,000 babies are being killed every year in America -- it really doesn't register
-- it bears out what the Russian dictator Stalin once said -- "A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic"
-- so, in order to better understand the tragedy of abortion, let's refocus again on the topic of this message -- lets forget for the moment the 1,300,000 and let's instead focus on the single individual
-- what would you do -- what would you say -- if a friend came to you and told you that they were considering having an abortion? -- what would you do if a family member came to you and told you that they were considering an abortion?
-- given the current statistics on abortion, this is not an unlikely scenario -- in all likelihood, you either know someone who has had an abortion or who will consider having an abortion within their lifetime
-- so, what would you tell a friend who came to you and told you that they were considering an abortion?

II. Life is Sacred Because God Made It
-- the first thing we need to tell them is that every life -- even the life of an unborn child in the womb -- every life is sacred because God made it -- Colossians 1:16 says, "For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him." -- all life on earth was made by God and for God and is sacred in His eyes -- especially human life
-- out of everything that God made, only man was made in the image of God -- only man is recorded as having received the breath of life from God -- and regardless of what you might hear from evolutionists, mankind is special to God
-- in Isaiah 49, God tells us that He has engraved us on the palms of His hand and that He will never forget us -- in Psalm 8, we read that God has crowned us with glory and honor -- and in Jeremiah 31:3, God says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love"
-- life is sacred because God created life -- and human life is sacred because God made us special -- He created us to be His image-bearers to the world -- to glorify Him through our lives and through our worship and through our service to Him

III. Life Begins at Conception
-- I think all people who believe in God would agree with what I have just said -- they would agree that life is sacred -- but then you have to answer the question, "When does life begin?"
-- this is the sticking point for a lot of people -- Christians, non-Christians, pro-lifers, pro-choicers -- the whole abortion issue stands on this question -- "When does life begin?"
-- those in favor of legalized abortion contend that life does not begin until birth -- they say that until a baby is born, it is just a fetus -- an embryo -- certainly not a human baby -- that is how they can justify late-term abortions
-- but, look what the Word of God says on this issue -- look at back at Psalm 139
13. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16. your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

-- this passage clearly tells us that life begins even before we are conceived -- when God creates us -- even while we are still within our mothers -- He knows us -- He knows our names -- He knows our characters -- He knows what we will do -- He knows what we will be -- even before we were born, God ordains our life and numbers our days
-- we see the same thing in Jeremiah 1:5 -- in this verse, the Lord tells Jeremiah, ""Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart" and in Isaiah 49:1, Isaiah writes, "Before I was born the LORD called me; from my birth he has made mention of my name."
-- I think it is obvious from these passages that God views life as beginning before birth -- in fact, Ephesians 1:4 says that God chose us in Him before the creation of the world -- our lives existed in the mind of God before we were ever conceived
-- life does not begin when we are born -- life begins when we are created by God -- when we are knit together in the secret places
-- no where is this shown more clearly than in the life of Gianna Jessen -- Gianna is a survivor of abortion -- when her mother was 17, she went into a clinic and underwent an abortion procedure -- a toxic saline solution was injected into her womb to kill her baby
-- this solution is designed to burn a baby inside and out -- killing it in the womb -- and then the mother will deliver a still-born baby within 24 hours
-- for 18 hours, Gianna's body was ravaged by this toxic solution -- but she was born alive -- for three months she lived in an incubator in a hospital -- until she was strong enough to be placed with a foster family
-- the doctors told her foster family that she would never walk -- never crawl -- never even be able to hold her head up -- because of the lack of oxygen she suffered during the abortion procedure
-- but today, Gianna is a survivor -- she not only walks, but she runs and is preparing for a marathon in Nashville, TN -- but more than that, she is an outspoken proponent of life -- she has traveled all over this country -- speaking with presidents and people in the pews -- telling them and showing them that life does not begin at birth -- but at conception
-- the second thing we should tell our friend is that, not only is life sacred, but that the child they are carrying is not a blob of tissue -- it is not a lump of cells -- it is a baby -- created and called by God for a purpose

IV. Pro-Choice is not an option
-- the third thing we need to tell our friend that pro-choice is not an option -- those in favor of abortion contend that it is the women's right to choose whether to have or abort the child -- for that reason they call themselves "pro-choice" -- but, do we really have the right to choose?
-- the thing we need to remember as we address this question is that we do not own anything -- we are merely stewards for God -- this means that we have been put here to take care of God's creation -- including our very lives and the lives of our family
-- if you would, turn over to 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

19. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;
20. you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

-- we are not our own -- our bodies -- our lives -- are owned by God -- therefore, we do not have the right to take our own life, much less the life of another whom God has created

-- I have a friend who believes this with all their heart -- when he and his wife struggled to conceive, they started taking fertility drugs -- and, as you may know, when you take these drugs, the likelihood of multiple births goes up
-- shortly after they began taking this medication, my friend and his wife found out they were expecting triplets -- as the doctor began his tests, he became worried over the health of my friend's wife -- she was over 40 years old, and there was a good chance that they might see some form of birth defects in at least one of the triplets if they carried them to term
-- so the doctor recommended that they abort all but one of the embryos -- but my friend refused -- after trying for so long to get pregnant, they felt that each of their unborn babies was a gift from God -- and they believed that they did not have the right to make the decision to kill even one of these babies
-- and several months later, my friend and his wife celebrated the birth of their triplets -- two boys and one girl -- and just as the doctor said, one of the triplets -- the little girl -- had a birth defect -- in fact, she is on our prayer list right now
-- but, if you were to ask my friend today if he would do things differently knowing that Mackenzie would have these problems, he would still tell you, "No" -- the choice was not his to make -- he put it in the hands of God and trusted God's will -- and he has told me on several occasions that he just cannot imagine life without his daughter, even with all of her problems

-- God tells us in Ezekiel 18:4, "Every living soul belongs to me, the father as well as the son--both alike belong to me"
-- do we have the right to choose whether to kill an unborn child? I think God answers that quite clearly in Exodus 20:13 "You shall not murder" and in Deuteronomy 30:19, which reads, "This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live."
-- the third thing we must tell our friend is that we do not have the right to choose life or death for our unborn children

V. Final Steps
-- finally, we need to do more than just talk -- if we have a friend who comes to us and tells us that they are considering an abortion, then we need to put our faith into action -- our friend needs more than words -- our friends needs support, encouragement, and help
-- offer to carry your friend to a crisis pregnancy support clinic -- make sure they know of options instead of abortion -- help them find a pro-life counselor -- but, more importantly, just be there for them
-- this is going to be a difficult time in their lives -- they may face alienation from their family and friends -- they may question their faith -- they suffer from doubts -- be there with them -- hold their hands through the hard times -- cry when they cry -- laugh when they laugh -- listen when they speak -- the important thing is that you are there for them

-- but, what if your friend has the abortion anyway? -- what if your friend doesn't come to you and say, "I am considering an abortion" but instead says, "I just had an abortion" -- what then?
-- the answer is, we just love them -- a mistake may have been made -- a sin might have been committed -- but grace demands our loving presence -- Christ demands our loving presence
-- as Christians, we should never, ever condemn anyone for any sin they may have committed -- we are all sinners who have fallen short of the glory of God and whose hope only lies in His grace -- we should show them the love of Christ and we should point them to the cross and to the forgiveness that comes through the blood of Christ
-- regardless of what the pro-abortion crowd says, we know that there is a lasting impact of abortion on both the mothers and the fathers -- studies have shown that both women and men whose lives have been touched by abortion suffer elevated rates of suicide, death from other causes, substance abuse, depression, and hospitalization
-- also, as Rev. H.B. London from Focus on the Family points out, tens of thousands of women wake up every morning thinking that their son or daughter would be a certain age had it not been for their abortion -- for most of those women, and for the men who participated with them, there is no doubt a great deal of sadness and guilt
-- there is a lasting impact of abortion that we need to recognize -- these men and women need our support, not our judgment

-- 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 reads, "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing."
-- we can say something similar on the issue of abortion -- "If I proclaim the righteousness of God and point out the sin of abortion, but have not love, I am not obeying Christ's holy example."

-- if our friend has had an abortion, then we must offer them our love -- instead of just raising our voice to speak about the evils of abortion, we must speak with quiet compassion to those who have been damaged by sin -- we have to let our friends know that there is healing, forgiveness and mercy.
-- "Tell them that God loves them and cares for them -- Tell them about God's pardon for sin -- Tell them that coming to God is the answer to the crushing anguish they carry -- Tell them that they do not need to carry this burden any longer" (Rev. H.B. London)

-- I hope that the message this morning has helped you think through the issue of abortion -- and that if a friend or a family member comes to you and says, "I am thinking about having an abortion" -- that you will know how to answer them and how to love them through this time

-- I want to close this morning by sharing with you the words of Mother Teresa from her 1994 address at the National Prayer Breakfast -- Mother Teresa was one of the strongest, most persuasive opponents of abortion this world has ever seen -- and in these closing remarks, you can see the heart of Christ -- the heart of love -- that she had for the unborn baby -- she said it better than I could ever hope to say it and I want to leave you with her words

"Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching its people to love, but to use violence to get what they want. This is why the greatest destroyer of love and peace is abortion."
-- "If we remember that God loves us, and that we can love others as He loves us, then America can become a sign of peace for the world.
-- From here, a sign of care for the weakest of the weak -- the unborn child -- must go out to the world.
-- If you become a burning light of justice and peace in the world, then you will be really true to what the founders of this country stood for. God bless you!"

-- Let us pray

SERMON: I HAVE A FRIEND WHO CAN'T FORGIVE SOMEONE

Preached by Gregory W. Lee
13 January 2008

I. Introduction
-- turn in Bibles to Mt 18 -- this morning, I wanted to give us a different impression of this familiar passage -- so if you would, just listen now as I read this passage from the paraphrase, "The Message"

[Note: The following verses are from the New International Version (NIV) and not The Message. I do not have a digital copy of The Message and didn't have the time to type it.]
21. Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
22. Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
23. "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.
24. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.
25. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26. "The servant fell on his knees before him. `Be patient with me,' he begged, `and I will pay back everything.'
27. The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28. "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. `Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.
29. "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, `Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'
30. "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.
31. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32. "Then the master called the servant in. `You wicked servant,' he said, `I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.
33. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?'
34. In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35. "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

-- this passage reminds me of a cartoon that I have at home -- in this cartoon, a preacher is at the pulpit and is preaching through the Bible verse by verse -- the caption at the bottom reads, "Now, verse 17 is one of the most difficult and contentious verses in the Bible. Skip it and look at verse 18."
-- I feel that way about this passage and about the topic of forgiveness in general -- it is definitely one of the most difficult and contentious passages in the Bible -- not that it is misunderstood -- it's just that the teaching in this passage are not well liked
-- as Mark Twain said, "It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me -- it's the parts that I do understand."
-- there are a few subjects in the Bible that people just have a problem with -- the subject of money and tithing is always a big one -- the subject of divorce is another -- but the subject of forgiveness -- not God's forgiveness of us and our sins -- but our requirement to forgive others when they sin against us -- people just don't like dealing with that one -- and that's exactly what this passage concerns
-- we are continuing in our series called, "I have a friend who..." and the title of today's message is, "I have a friend who can't forgive someone"
-- now I want you to think about that for a moment -- what would you tell a friend who comes to you and says, "this other person sinned against me -- they did something really, really bad to me -- and I just can't forgive them" -- what would you tell them? -- where would you go for answers?
-- let's try to answer those questions this morning as we look at this passage in Matthew 18 in more detail

II. The Requirement to Forgive
-- before we turn to the passage again, let me give you the context -- this passage is found within a larger teaching by Jesus on sin and forgiveness from sin -- Jesus begins by warning His disciples to avoid sin and to be careful that their actions don't lead anyone else into sin -- especially children and little ones in the faith -- "Don't be the person who causes someone else to fall," He tells them -- and then He turns to the subject of forgiveness
-- first, Jesus talks about how the Father forgives all of those who have sinned against Him -- He tells them the parable of the lost sheep and says that God will not let even one sinner get away without offering His forgiveness -- His forgiveness is so great that He'll leave the 99 to go get the one who has wandered off
-- and then, Jesus teaches His disciples that they should forgive that way as well -- "when someone sins against you," He says, "work it out between you -- offer God's forgiveness to them and forgive them of what they have done"
-- which brings us to verse 21 and Peter's question on the subject of forgiveness
-- look now at verse 21

21. Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"

-- now Peter has been standing there listening to all of Jesus' teachings on sin and forgiveness -- and it seems like he just wants to puff himself up before the others -- he's trying to establish himself as the leader and as the one who really gets it -- who really understands what Jesus has been saying -- so he turns to Jesus and asks, "how many times should I forgive someone who sins against me -- even up to seven times?"
-- you get the sense that Peter is fishing for a compliment -- I think that he hoped that Jesus would praise him for his question -- you see, the Talmud -- the teachings of the rabbis based on the Old Testament law -- the Talmud said that you only had to forgive someone three times -- the fourth time, it was up to you how to respond -- you could forgive them or you could hold it against them
-- Peter is, in essence, saying to Jesus -- "Look how holy and forgiving I am -- I would forgive someone not just three times -- but all the way up to seven times -- isn't that the right way to do it?"
-- but look at Jesus' response -- verse 22

22. Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

-- you can almost sense the humor in Jesus' reply -- "Peter, not seven times but seventy-seven times" -- some translations say "seventy times seven times" -- this was an enormous number -- the only way you could do that would be to carry a book around with you and keep track of how many times someone wronged you
-- Jesus was trying to make a point -- your forgiveness to others should be like the Father's -- the Father doesn't keep track of how many times you sin and how many times you come before Him -- He doesn't quit forgiving you at three or seven or seventy-seven -- He forgives every time -- and so should you -- in other words, Jesus is saying, "don't limit your forgiveness but let it flow out of your heart without ceasing"

III. Parable of Forgiveness
-- Jesus made that perfectly clear in the parable that He told right after He spoke to Peter -- look at verse 23

23. "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.

-- every sin that we commit is a debt to God -- as David said in Psalm 51, "Against you and you only have I sinned" -- all of our sins are stacking up against us as a debt against God -- borrowing against His mercy -- and at some point, that debt is going to have to be paid -- He's going to settle His accounts with us
-- verse 24

24. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.

-- stop right there -- ten thousand talents in today's money would be somewhere between one and ten million dollars -- we're talking about a lot of money here that this servant owed the king
-- that's like our sins -- they grow larger and larger and larger until they reach an amount that we never could hope to repay
-- verse 25

25. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26. "The servant fell on his knees before him. `Be patient with me,' he begged, `and I will pay back everything.'
27. The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

-- the king looked at the man and understood his hopeless situation -- there was no way to work off the debt, try as he might -- and so the king had pity on the man and showed mercy and grace
-- mercy -- not giving him what he deserved -- not selling the man and his wife and his children into slavery to repay the debt like he deserved -- and grace -- giving him what he did not deserve -- wiping the man's debt totally clean -- marking the account "paid in full"
-- what a beautiful picture of the forgiveness of the King -- of the mercy and the grace of God through Christ Jesus -- forgiving us a debt so great that we could never hope to repay it -- no matter how long we worked -- no matter how many sacrifices we made
-- verse 28

28. "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. `Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.
29. "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, `Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'
30. "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.

-- now this fellow who has been forgiven a debt of over one million dollars goes out and finds a fellow servant who owes him only a hundred denarii -- that's less than $100 -- and he demands that the servant pay him back immediately -- and when he can't, he has him thrown into prison until the debt is paid back in full
-- the one who was shown mercy has shows none to another -- the one who was shown grace offers none to another
-- verse 31

31. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32. "Then the master called the servant in. `You wicked servant,' he said, `I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.
33. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?'
34. In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

-- the master calls this man a "wicked" servant -- not wicked because he had accrued a debt of over a million dollars -- but wicked because he has refused to show mercy to another
-- after being forgiven so great a debt, how could this man not forgive such a lesser debt owed him? -- and so the king has the man thrown into prison to be tortured until he can pay back all of the money he originally owed
-- now look at Jesus' final summary of this parable and of all His teachings on the topic of forgiveness -- verse 35

35. "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

-- this parable makes it clear -- as a Christian, we have a duty to forgive -- it is not a choice, but a requirement -- if we are going to enjoy the forgiveness of God for the sins that we have committed against Him, then we have to extend His forgiveness to those who sin against us
-- as Ray Stedman puts it, "Not a day goes by but that we do not stand in desperate need of the forgiving word of the great King -- Again and again he cancels out the debt as we come in our guilt and abandon, in the consciousness that we have terribly failed, hearing anew the tender forgiving word
-- "And yet, when someone offends us, how quickly we revert to the basis of justice and start demanding, "Pay me what you owe." -- "I demand an apology." -- "Give me my rights." -- "Let me have what's coming to me." -- "Treat me like I deserve." -- "I demand to be treated with respect."
-- how many times do we utter such words? -- how many times do we joyfully receive the grace and mercy and forgiveness of God but turn in anger and unforgiveness against our brother and sister?

IV. Helping Our Friend
-- that is the heart of the matter -- and that is the heart of our friend who comes to us and says they can't forgive someone who has sinned against them
-- what do you tell them? -- what words of wisdom and advice do you offer?
-- first, you need to share with them that forgiving is a requirement for Christians -- it is not an option -- it is something that is expected
-- look back at Peter's original question in verse 21

21. Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"

-- note that Peter takes it for granted that he should forgive -- the question he is asking is not "if" he should forgive someone but how many times he should forgive
-- the disciples got it -- even Peter got it -- as Christians, we are expected to forgive -- in Matthew 6:12 -- in the Lord's Prayer -- Jesus told us to pray, "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors" -- other translations substitute the word "trespass" for debts -- so we prayed this morning, "forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us" -- in other words, we are recognizing that we have a responsibility to forgive and we are asking the Father to forgive us to the extent that we forgive others
-- so, if you have a friend who comes to you and tells you that they just can't forgive someone else, the first thing you need to share with them is that forgiving is a requirement for Christians
-- secondly, we should tell our friend to forgive because God first forgave them -- the servant in this parable was expected to forgive his fellow servant because of the forgiveness which the master had showed him
-- God has forgiven us so much -- He has forgiven all of our debts -- all of our trespasses -- all of our sins -- He has cancelled a debt that was so great we could never hope to repay it -- and He expects us to forgive others their lesser debts as a result
-- that is why Paul writes in Ephesians 4:32 to forgive each other, just as in Christ God forgave us
-- finally, we should tell our friend to forgive because it helps their own heart -- Hebrews 12:15 says, "See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many."
-- unforgiveness is a bitter root that does nothing but cause trouble and defilement in our lives -- it takes the grace of God and twists it into something unrecognizable -- it makes a Christian become the most unloving person in the world
-- when someone wrongs you -- when they sin against you -- it is like they have wounded your heart -- they have damaged your heart -- and you will never be well -- you will never be whole again -- until you have repaired the damage that they have done to you
-- hearts damaged by others keep us from loving God as we should -- it keeps us from loving others as we should -- it keeps us from living life as we should
-- hearts damaged by others gives Satan a stronghold into our lives -- and Satan fills up these damaged places in our hearts with anger and hatred and resentment and bitterness and a desire for vengeance -- things that hamper our Christian life
-- so, when God commands us to forgive others when they trespass against us, it is a commandment for our own good -- it is a call for the healing of our hearts -- not for those who wronged us -- but for us -- to cut out of our lives something that is hindering our walk with Christ and that is keeping us from becoming who God wants us to be
-- forgiveness is like the surgeon's knife that cuts cancer out of our body -- God uses this process of forgiveness to heal us and to make us whole once again

VI. Forgiving Others
-- so, how do we tell our friend to forgive? -- how do we forgive when someone sins against us? -- basically, it is the same process that God used when He forgave us of our sins
-- first, we need to recognize that there is a need for forgiveness and we have to have a desire to heal the hurts within us -- this takes time -- when we have been hurt -- when we have been violated -- it may take months, or even years, until we reach the point where we are ready to forgive the other person for the hurt that they inflicted in our hearts
-- it is okay to be angry at what happened to us -- in fact, we should be angry at what happened -- because someone we trusted violated that very trust in our lives -- and it is through that anger that our desire to heal should come
-- secondly, we should keep in mind that forgiveness is a process -- it is not something that happens just once and is over -- we may forgive and then find ourselves feeling those same hurts once again -- we may find that we have to continually forgive the wrong that was done to us -- that is okay and it is part of the healing process
-- in his book, "The Art of Forgiving," Lewis Smedes outlines the final three steps to forgiveness that we follow when we truly seek healing in our life

1. We begin the process of forgiving when we start separating the person who wronged us from the wrong that they did to us -- when someone wrongs us, in our minds, they become the wrong that they did to us -- we say things like, "he is nothing but a cheat -- he is nothing but a liar" -- we look at them and all we see is the sin
-- but, as Smedes points out, when we begin the miracle of healing, we begin to see our enemy through a cleaner lens, less smudged by hate -- we begin to see them as a person who did something wrong -- not as wrong itself
-- when God forgave us, the first thing He did was to separate us from our sin -- we were not the problem -- it was the sin that was the problem and that needed to be dealt with -- so God provided a way to cover our sins -- so, when God sees us, He doesn't see the sin any longer -- He sees the person underneath the sin, cleansed through the blood of Christ
-- the first step to forgiveness, then, is continuing to hate the sin but not the person who committed the sin against you

2. We continue the process of healing when we surrender our right to get even -- when we are first wronged -- when we are first hurt -- we want to get even -- we want the other person to suffer like we have suffered and to know that they are suffering because of what they did to us -- we call this "vengeance"
-- when you start on the road to forgiveness, you are releasing your right to vengeance -- to hurting the other person unjustly -- keep in mind, though, that there is a difference between vengeance and justice -- vengeance is our pleasure of seeing someone who hurt us get hurt back -- justice is making sure that someone pays a fair penalty for wronging another -- vengeance is personal satisfaction -- justice is moral accountability
-- forgiveness does not do away with justice -- someone who wronged you may have to pay for the wrong that they have done -- but, forgiveness does mean that you don't desire them to be hurt in an unjust way simply as revenge for what they did to you

3. We have completed the process when we can change our feelings towards the person that wronged us -- we no longer hate them for who they are and we even can hope that God's grace might fall into their lives -- this does not excuse the wrong that they have done -- it does not mean that we are going to tolerate them trespassing against us again and it does not mean that we are going to restore our relationship with them
-- but it means that we no longer have a desire for them to suffer because of what they have done to us -- and it means that if God was to reach out and touch them and change their lives for the better, that we would genuinely be happy to see that happen
-- when we have reached this stage of forgiveness, we can know for sure that the hatred and the bitterness are now removed from our lives and that our hearts have been healed and restored by the miraculous power of forgiveness

VI. Closing
-- "Do this," Jesus says -- "Forgive your brother from your heart" -- because God has forgiven you, forgive others
-- it doesn't matter how many times they wrong you -- it doesn't matter how great the wrong seems to you -- it all pales in comparison to the grace and mercy and forgiveness that the Father has shown to you
-- forgive them, because God forgave you
-- forgive them, because God expects you to
-- forgive them, so that you will be made whole and complete once again
-- this is what we should tell our friends -- and this is what we should tell ourselves
-- this morning, as I close, I would invite you to search your own hearts and seek out those areas where unforgiveness might lurk and to ask God to start healing you so that you might forgive as He forgave you
-- let us pray

Movie Review: "Veggie Tales: The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything"

On Friday, I took my daughter on a Daddy-Daughter date to go see the new Veggie Tales movie, "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything." Now, I've always been a big fan of Veggie Tales, even before Brooke came along. I guess that shows you my maturity level! I really enjoy the satirical humor of Veggie Tales and the way they can express simple and Godly truths in a way that both kids and adults can enjoy.

I really enjoyed this movie. In fact, I enjoyed it a lot better than Jonah, which was a little heavy-handed at points. This movie was obviously envisioned after the enormous success of the Pirates of the Caribbean series and the resurgence of pirates into our collective consciousness.

The overall theme was that anyone can be a hero, if they just do what is right -- even cabin boys who want to be pirates at a Pirate Dinner Theater. I thought the point was made perfectly without being too preachy or too heavy handed. When faced with difficult tasks, when faced with enormous challenges that seemed too great to conquer, these want-to-be-pirates continued to move forward and do what was right, even though the chance of failure loomed. In the end, of course, they became the heroes they longed to be, both for the princess and for their own loved ones.

This is a movie that adults will like, too. It seemed to me a blend of two popular movies: "Pirates of the Caribbean," and "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" It had a great mix of jokes and satire based on these movies which were obviously aimed at the adults in the audience.

The only fault that I had with the movie was the obvious lack of reference to God or spiritual assistance. I know that Big Idea, the parent company of Veggie Tales, was sold a couple of years ago, and we may be seeing the fruit of that purchase now. The earlier Veggie Tales programs, including the movie, "Jonah," were obviously Bible-based or had obvious spiritual references. This movie does not, although the morals that are taught and the overall lesson are in line with a Christian world-view.

Overall, I'd give this movie a high rating, and would not hesitate to purchase it and recommend it to others at church. It would be a great summer movie for vacation Bible school or some other youth gathering.

SERMON: I HAVE A FRIEND WHO FEELS ALONE

Preached by Gregory W. Lee
6 January 2008

I. Introduction
-- turn in Bibles to Ecclesiastes Ch. 4

-- this morning we are going to be starting a new sermon series called, "I have a friend who..." -- all of us in here have friends -- and it has been my experience that, from time to time, my friends have come to me and shared things that are going on in their lives -- sometimes the things are reasons to celebrate -- such as they are getting married or having a baby or have gotten a new job -- other times have not been so joyous as they have shared difficult things that they have been going through
-- even before I became a preacher, I sat on the couch in my living room one time and comforted a friend whose wife had just told him she didn't love him any longer and wanted a divorce -- I have wept along with friends who have lost loved ones -- and I have visited friends who were sick or who were in trouble with the law
-- a lot of times I would find myself discussing spiritual issues with my friends -- and as I've entered into almost a mentoring role of late, I've realized that a lot of my friends and my coworkers have strong -- but wrong -- beliefs about spiritual and relational issues
-- they are facing spiritual questions and spiritual problems in their lives -- and they are looking for advice -- and a lot of times, we just don't know how to respond to them when they voice unbiblical and misguided opinions about marriage, friendships, faith, and God
-- so, for the next six weeks, we are going to look at some of these spiritual and relational issues and see what God's word says on these subjects so that we might be able to better share His truth with our friends and help them along their path of spiritual maturity
-- so this morning, the title of my message is, "I have a friend who feels alone"
-- if you would, look with me now at Ecclesiastes 4:7-12

7. Again I saw something meaningless under the sun:
8. There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. "For whom am I toiling," he asked, "and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?" This too is meaningless-- a miserable business!
9. Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
10. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
11. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
12. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

II. Loneliness
-- as the holiday season started to roll around this year, you might have noticed the trailer for the new Will Smith movie, "I Am Legend" -- the trailers didn't give a lot of information about the plot of the movie, but only made one point perfectly clear -- Will Smith was supposedly the last person left alive on earth -- everyone else had been killed by a virus -- and he was totally and utterly alone with nothing but his dog for a companion
-- there must have something about these trailers that struck a chord with America -- Will Smith has always been a big box-office draw -- but when this movie was released on December 14th -- in the middle of the holiday season -- it made more money than any other movie ever released in the month of December
-- but why did people flock to the theaters to see this movie? -- because it dealt with the greatest fear that we all share -- did you know that one of the most feared conditions of the human heart is loneliness?

-- people are more afraid of being alone or feeling alone than they are of dying -- loneliness leads to a feeling of emptiness and aimlessness -- it leads to a feeling of inner despair -- it affects a person's whole life
-- loneliness affects us all -- more people suffer from loneliness than any other malady that afflicts the emotions -- if you were to do a search on the Internet on the word "lonely" you would literally come up with millions of web pages written on the subject -- I did a search on Google for the word "lonely" and came up with over 86 million websites
-- At one of his crusades, Luis Palau, the South American evangelist, asked the people in his audience to indicate what subject they would most like him to speak about
-- from all of the possible subjects that he might speak on -- from how to get to heaven to who Jesus really is to whether the Bible is true or not -- the majority of the people there that night asked him to speak on the subject of loneliness
-- feeling alone is one of the most common problems in our society -- a couple of years ago I read a book on homelessness -- in this book, the author and a friend became homeless for about three months and then wrote about their experience -- the worst part of being homeless, they said, was the feeling of utter loneliness -- of feeling alone and overlooked in a sea of humanity
-- why do you think the social networking sites such as My Space and Facebook are so popular with our youth? -- simply because it's a way to easily communicate with their friends and family? -- no, it's because they are lonely and fear loneliness more than anything else -- they are so afraid of being alone that they will take superficial relationships developed over the internet rather than admit that they feel alone in their lives
-- more people commit suicide because of loneliness than any other cause -- which is understandable, since loneliness has been called the most desolate word in the English language

-- let me read you an excerpt from a web page specifically dealing with the problem of loneliness: "Loneliness is a feeling of emptiness or hollowness inside you -- You feel isolated or separated from the world, cut off from those you would like to have contact with
-- "There are different kinds of loneliness and different degrees of loneliness -- You might experience loneliness as a vague feeling that something is not right, a kind of minor emptiness -- Or you might feel loneliness as a very intense deprivation and deep pain.
-- "One type of loneliness might be related to missing a specific individual because they have died or because they are so far away -- Another type might involve feeling alone and out of contact with people because you are actually physically isolated from people -- for instance, you might work alone on the night shift or work by yourself in a part of a building where people seldom go
-- "You might even feel emotionally isolated when you are surrounded by people but are having difficulty reaching out to them."
-- it is not an uncommon thing to feel alone -- every one of you has experienced it from time to time -- that feeling of emptiness -- of not belonging -- even in a crowd of people, we can feel alone -- cut off -- abandoned -- and you probably have a friend who feels alone right now

III. Scripture Lesson
-- before we talk about how to help our friend, let's look at what causes loneliness -- look at what Solomon says on the subject in this passage -- verse 7

7. Again I saw something meaningless under the sun:
8. There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. "For whom am I toiling," he asked, "and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?" This too is meaningless-- a miserable business!

-- Mart DeHaan, the president of RBC Ministries, says that ultimately, all loneliness, regardless of the form, stems from mankind's alienation from God
-- loneliness is a spiritual issue -- mankind has been struggling with loneliness ever since Adam and Eve were cut off from fellowship with God and were cast from the Garden of Eden
-- loneliness is -- at it's heart -- nothing more than the manifestation of our innate desire to be in relationship with our Creator
-- did you know that the cross was really about nothing more than relationship? -- relationship with God and relationship with each other -- we were created to be in fellowship -- to be in relationship -- with God and with other people -- it is part of our nature
-- that is why the cross is made up of two lines -- there's a vertical line that addressed our relationship with God -- that's normally what we think of when we think of the cross -- Christ making a way for us to be reconciled with the Father once again -- to be able to have a relationship with Him once again -- because now our sins are forgiven and we are holy in His sight through the blood of Christ
-- but, the cross is also made up of a horizontal line -- Christ not only died to reconcile us with God -- He died to reconcile us with each other -- to make it possible for us to have real relationships with others here on earth that reflected our relationship with the Father
-- that is why God said in Genesis 2:18, "it is not good for man to be alone" -- as Peter Pintus points out, "Although Adam enjoyed a Spirit-to-spirit relationship with God, God knew that Adam also needed a relationship with someone who was like him, someone he could touch in the flesh."
-- we can only be truly whole if we enjoy relationships in both the vertical and the horizontal -- with both God and others
-- this man that Solomon talks about in verses apparently had neither -- he didn't have a relationship with God or with anyone else -- not even a family member -- and Solomon called it "a miserable business"
-- God made us so that we would need and desire relationships with Him and with others -- look at verse 9

9. Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
10. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
11. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
12. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

-- we need other people -- friends who can pick us up when we fall -- friends who will comfort us -- who will keep us warm -- who will help provide our needs -- who will stand with us when we need strength and support -- who will keep us from feeling alone

IV. Helping our Friend
-- so, what do we tell a friend who feels alone? -- how can we help them through this feeling of isolation and loneliness? I've going to give you five suggestions:

1. We need to let them know that it's o.k. to feel alone -- our society has made loneliness a stigma -- something to be avoided -- but God's word makes it clear that loneliness is a natural and normal part of our human existence1
-- it is something that all of u experience from time-to-time and it doesn't mean that anything is wrong with them -- it just means that they are human
-- when you feel alone, it may be nothing more than a reminder from God that you were created for relationship -- relationship with Him and with others

2. We need to find out if their loneliness is a spiritual issue or not -- the first relationship that we are to maintain is the relationship with God -- if that relationship is not right, then no relationships are going to be right
-- Jesus told us that the greatest commandment was to love the Lord our God with all of our heart and our mind and our soul and our strength -- if I had a friend who came to me and said that they felt alone, the first thing I'd ask them is where they were in their spiritual life -- are they loving God at the moment?
-- sometimes, you will find that your friends are not Christians -- that they have never experienced a relationship with God through His saving grace and through the atoning death of Christ -- it could be that God has allowed them to feel lonely in order for them to create a relationship with Him -- if this is the case, then your best response is to share with them the love of Christ and to introduce them to Jesus
-- sometimes, though, you'll find that your friends are Christians and are in a relationship with God -- it could be that God is using this season of loneliness to draw them closer to Him -- to lead them into a deeper relationship with Him -- encourage them to pour out their heart to God -- to share with Him their loneliness and encourage them to seek His face and His counsel through the Bible and through prayer and through the church

3. We need to encourage our friend to look at their relationships with others -- do they have real relationships or are their relationships merely superficial? -- as Peter Pinter points out, "Loneliness provides a unique opportunity to evaluate [our] current relationships with family, friends, and coworkers so that we can find new ways to deepen the ones that are healthy"
-- we need to remind them that you don't have to have a lot of friends in order to experience fulfilling relationships -- don't forget, the first and best friendship that ever existed occurred among only three persons -- the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit
-- a deep and meaningful relationship with just one or two other people might be more valuable than having superficial relationships with hundreds of people
-- in this passage, notice that Solomon recommends the close friendship of just one other person -- in verse 9 he says, "two are better than one"
-- by the way, in verse 12, when Solomon points out that a strand of three cords is not easily broken, he is referring to the need for horizontal and vertical relationships -- the first strand in the cord is the man -- the second is his friend -- and the third is his God
-- you don't have to have a lot of friends in order to have real friends

4. We need to encourage our friend to make time for others and to seek out others for companionship -- as I've mentioned before, in the Kairos prison ministry, we have a saying, "Make a friend -- be a friend -- introduce that friend to Jesus" -- the thing I want you to focus on in that saying is "make a friend"
-- in order to have friends, we first must be a friend -- we have to make friends and invest in our friendship -- we have to carve out time in our busy lives to share in the lives of others
-- encourage your friend to invite someone to participate in an activity with them -- whether it's taking a walk -- sitting and reading -- watching a movie -- or just talking on the phone
-- just remind them that people are busy and lead busy lives -- if they can't do it today, call them up again tomorrow and keep doing it until you can spend time with them
-- Randy Frazee, the teaching pastor at Willow Creek Community Church, talks about being a "catalyst for community" -- for being the one who initiates friendships with others as part of fulfilling God's command to love our neighbors as ourselves
-- encourage your friend to be a "catalyst for community" in their own lives by seeking out others for companionship

5. Lastly, we need to ask ourselves if our friend's loneliness is a call from God for us to be more a part of their lives -- we need to see if we have been neglecting our friendship with them -- if we need to spend more time with them
-- perhaps your friend sharing their loneliness with you is their way of asking for you to be their friend -- perhaps its a way of asking for you to deepen your friendship with them
-- if someone came to me and said they felt alone, I would pray and ask God to show me ways to be more of a friend to them

V. Closing
-- loneliness in America has become an epidemic of enormous proportions -- people in our country are lonely because they don't have real relationships with God or with others -- they know more about the lives of Brittney Spears and Paris Hilton than they do their neighbors or their friends
-- the feeling of being alone is God's way of leading us into relationship -- relationship with Him and with others
-- this morning, I want to encourage you to take a moment and think about the relationships in your lives -- both the vertical and the horizontal relationships -- do you feel alone? -- if so, why?
-- is it because you need to restore your relationship with God -- or is it because you need to make and be a friend with others?
-- as I close in prayer, I want to invite you to respond to God's call for relationship -- whether that's relationship with Him or relationship with others -- do what it takes to love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and mind and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself
-- let us pray
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1Pintus, Peter. 2007. At the heart of loneliness. Discipleship Journal, November/December, 2007.